I'll Stop the World (87)

Then he smiled, his eyes softening to a watery gray.

“I thought you hated me.” His voice was a little shaky, but she could hear the relief in it.

She shook her head. “I could never hate you,” she said, and suddenly she couldn’t hold the tears back anymore. They streamed down her cheeks, dripping from her chin onto the carpet as her shoulders shook in giant, heaving sobs. “You’re not mad?” she managed to gasp.

Shawn let out a small laugh. “I know this is going to sound weird, but I honestly feel better now. I was convinced that you couldn’t stand me.”

She wrapped her arms around him, finally allowing herself to hug him in a way that hadn’t felt comfortable in months, since she always worried that he might interpret it as something more. After a second, his arms came around her, too, holding her tight. “That will never be true,” she said into his shoulder, her voice coming out slightly muffled. “I love you. You’re one of my favorite people.”

This time, Shawn’s laugh was bigger. “Now you say it.”

Lisa laughed, too, and it felt so good, to finally have named the wall that she’d put up between them, and in the naming of it, to have knocked it down. “I always wanted to, you know. Just not in the way I knew you’d hear it.”

Shawn sighed. “Maybe don’t tell me that right now.”

“Sorry.”

They were both quiet for a long time, until it was suddenly strange that they were still touching, and they pulled apart. The air between them seemed somehow lighter. Easier to breathe.

“Have you told Rose?” Shawn asked.

Lisa shook her head.

He grimaced. “You know it’s going to kill her that you told me first.”

“Things have just been so weird between us lately.”

“Weirder than this?” He gestured between the two of them.

She shrugged. “At least I knew why things were weird with us. With Rose, I’m not even sure what’s going on. It’s like she’s got this whole different life all of a sudden that I’m not a part of, and I don’t know how or why that happened.”

Shawn raised his eyebrows. “Gee, I wonder what that must feel like.”

She gave him a pointed look.

“Sorry,” Shawn said hurriedly, his face flushing a bit. “I meant maybe she’s got something going on that has nothing to do with you, but she just doesn’t want to tell you. Like you did.”

“Maybe,” Lisa agreed. She bit her lip, staring at the photos of her and Rose stuck in the frame of her dresser mirror. “I’m just not sure what to do about it.”

“You can talk to her,” Shawn said with a shrug. “That’s what I wish we’d done a long time ago.”

“Yeah.” Lisa took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. She knew he was right. She and Rose were long overdue for a talk. She just needed to find the right time to do it.





Chapter Fifty-One


BILL

After three days of uneventfully watching locker 247, Bill was beginning to wonder whether the mysterious test vendor was onto them. He and Pat had looked up the locker in the office, hoping their job would be easy, but it wasn’t assigned to anyone. Yet there was a combination padlock on it like many of the students used, keeping them from being able to open it.

So they followed the system. They put twenty-five dollars in an envelope, along with one of Pat’s classes and another unassigned locker number, and slipped it into locker 247. The locker they picked for their fictitious cheating student was clearly visible from Bill’s office.

He stayed every day after school until the building was empty, pretending to work late, and came in first thing in the morning in order to keep watch. They’d put the envelope in 247 on Tuesday, so if Andy was right, there should’ve been something in the receiving locker by Wednesday. But no one ever approached the locker, and when Bill checked, it was still empty.

He wondered whether maybe he’d put the envelope in 247 too late for a one-day turnaround, and the delivery would happen on Thursday instead. But by the end of the day Thursday, the locker was still empty.

Bill sat at his desk, flipping mindlessly through a Time magazine he’d gotten from the teachers’ lounge. It was an August issue, with a cover story warning about AIDS: The Growing Threat. He’d finished that article and moved on to one about year-round schooling—interesting, although he didn’t think it would fly in Buford County—when he heard footsteps coming down the hall, along with the sound of someone humming.

Bill kept the magazine open and leaned his head on his hand, keeping his chin pointed down like he was still reading, while his eyes watched the hall.

The hummer came into view, and Bill recognized the janitor, Michael McMillain, who must have finished up his shift for the day. He was bouncing as he walked toward the school entrance, moving to a beat only he could hear. A Walkman was clipped to his belt, and headphones covered his ears. He twirled his keys around one finger as he hummed along to the music coming out of his headphones, punctuated by a few muttered lyrics every now and then. Bill thought it might be Stevie Wonder, but he couldn’t be sure.

He sighed and stood, ready to call it quits for the day. If there was still nothing tomorrow, he and Pat might need to come up with a new plan.

He stopped midstep, stunned at what he’d just seen.