I'll Stop the World (119)

Not her voice. His.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, tears leaking from her closed eyelids.

It’s not your fault.

“I should’ve tried harder.”

This is why I was here.

Air filled her lungs. As she breathed in, she knew he was truly gone.

She opened her eyes, her heart aching. She was surprised to see Karl Derrin standing beside Shawn, face red and tear-streaked, eyes wide. Where had he come from? How long had he been here?

Shawn looked down at him, dazed. “It was you?”

“I’m sorry,” Karl whimpered. “I-I was just trying to—”

Shawn shook his head wearily. “It doesn’t matter.” He sniffed, twisting his neck to wipe his nose on the shoulder of his sweatshirt. He dragged his gaze back to Justin’s body. “We have to bury him,” he said thickly.

“What?” Rose asked, incredulous. “We need to go to the police.”

“What are they going to do?” He gestured to Justin’s contorted body on the ground. “They can’t help him now.”

“That doesn’t matter!”

Karl took a deep breath and straightened his shoulders, his limbs trembling. “I agree with Rose.”

Shawn stared at him, seeming dazed. Then his expression shifted, and he slowly shook his head, his brow furrowed with something like—but not quite—concern. “Are you sure about that, buddy? I mean, if you hadn’t distracted me, this wouldn’t have happened.”

“You think I’ll get in trouble?” Karl whispered, his face going pale.

“Maybe. Do you know what manslaughter is?”

Karl shook his head vehemently. “I changed my mind. I don’t want to go to the police.”

Shawn patted him on the shoulder. “Good call, buddy. I’d hate for you to have to go to jail.”

Rose couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “Shawn, he’s just a kid.”

Shawn glared at her with a calculated coldness she’d never seen before. “So am I.”

Rose’s blood turned to ice in her veins. This wasn’t the Shawn she knew. The one who had shown up to every fundraiser for Mrs. Hanley, the one who had dated her sister for a year and then hugged her when she finally told him the truth, the one who had tried to give her an awkward heart-to-heart about her nonexistent love life.

No, this was someone else. Someone she didn’t recognize.

He looked at Karl, pasting a strange, determined smile on his face. “Time to be brave, buddy.” He walked around the back of the truck and opened the tailgate. A few seconds later, he came back holding two shovels, and handed one to Karl.

Rose shook her head, horrified. She wondered if she might throw up. “You can’t just throw him away!”

“We don’t have a choice, Rose,” Shawn said, his voice eerily void of expression. He unzipped his sweatshirt, swiping a sleeve across the damp hair on his forehead. Underneath, he wore a shirt and tie. He must’ve been headed to the debate.

Except . . . the community center was in the opposite direction. What was he doing out here on the bridge?

“Karl, grab that tarp out of the bed and bring it over here,” Shawn said, walking slowly around Justin’s body, his head tilted to one side. He nudged Justin’s shoe with his toe, making Rose’s stomach turn.

“Karl, stop,” Rose said, beckoning to the younger boy. “Come here. You don’t have to do this. We’ll explain to the police what happened. You won’t get in trouble.”

“Don’t listen to her, bud,” Shawn said, his face still twisted into that unsettling smile. “She doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”

“I know that you can’t just bury people on riverbanks and get away with it.” Rose could hardly believe she was having this conversation. Could hardly believe any of this was happening.

Did the Shawn she thought she knew even exist? Had she been wrong about him all this time?

Or was this Shawn the impostor? If she pushed hard enough, would she find her friend still inside?

Shawn spread his arms, gesturing at the empty bridge. “Who’s going to find out? Does anyone else even know he was here? As long as we all agree not to say anything—”

“I’m not agreeing to that.”

The smile fell from his face. “I thought you were my friend.”

“I am your friend.”

“Then help me!” Shawn’s eyes were round and frantic. “Rose, this could destroy my whole life. I could go to jail. How could you do that to me?”

“I’m not doing anything to you!”

“Yes, you are. No one has to know. Unless you tell them.”

“If you’d just explain to the police what happened—”

His head wagged stubbornly back and forth, hands buried in his hair again. “I can’t. This is the only way. You have to help me, Rose. No one can know.”

She tore her eyes away from Justin’s unmoving body to look at her friend. His skin was pale in the light of the streetlamps, his eyes wide. He looked like a trapped animal. “Shawn,” she said quietly, taking a step toward him. “It was an accident.”

He stared at her, clutching the shovel. “Everything will be ruined,” he whispered. “Please.”