I Shall Be Near to You(28)

I stay put on my tree stump, watching the cards move across the overturned crate, looking up at the inky sky and the stars, until the boys forget about me, until the wind changes and the tangy wood smoke starts stinging.

After a while Sully hollers, ‘Hell yeah!’

Jeremiah’s eyes flick over to me, a question there. It is nice, him taking an interest in me, even if he’s telling me that a boy not playing cards is something queer.

‘My Mama don’t hold to gambling,’ I call over to them, ‘so I ain’t learned before now. But if you boys don’t mind teaching me, I aim to try my luck this game.’

Henry smirks like a wicked devil and says, ‘There ain’t no better way to entertain myself and make money at the same time as teaching a kid-glove soldier like yourself.’

‘Well then, how can I trust you to teach me straight?’ I drag my stump over to their circle, pushing between Jeremiah and Will. ‘You’ve all got money riding on it.’

‘You’re going to lose your money whether we teach you straight or not,’ Will says from across the circle and then blushes when all the boys laugh.

‘To buy into this game,’ Will adds, ‘the cost is five dollars.’

‘Five dollars! That’s almost half a month’s pay! And I ain’t got paid yet,’ I say. ‘None of you has.’

‘IOUs. What’s good enough for Ole Abe is good enough for us,’ Sully says. He passes me a pencil and a scrap of paper looks like it came off an envelope.

Once I push my paper signed Ross Stone, March 4, 1862, into the center of their little circle, right next to the lantern, Will doles out twenty matchsticks.

After the last hand, Sully’s got himself a bigger pile of matchsticks than anyone else, and he is even more puffed up than usual.

‘Okay. Now, we’re each going to get two cards,’ Will says to me, and he starts dealing cards to his left. ‘One up and one down. You look at your cards and what everyone else is showing and then you make up your mind.’

‘Make my mind up to what?’ I ask, and Henry sighs.

None of them has touched their cards yet, but I am itching to see mine.

Sully says, ‘You’re deciding if you want to bet.’

‘Well, how am I to know that?’

‘Ain’t you been watching?’ Henry growls. ‘This is why we oughtn’t be letting no womanish paleface play.’

Jimmy elbows Henry, but that don’t stop me from saying, ‘You can just shut your trap, Henry O’Malley. It ain’t my fault I never played before!’

Jeremiah says, ‘Why don’t we play a hand for practice?’ but Henry snorts and Sully shakes his head.

‘Highest upcard bets first,’ Will says, and picks up his card.

I slide mine across the slats and peer at it. There’s a two of spades in my hand and a jack of hearts for all to see.

Jeremiah has got a ten of spades on his knee. He gives me a small smile but that don’t make me feel one bit better, not when Jimmy with his five of diamonds has to stick up for me and throw elbows instead of my husband.

Will announces, ‘Queen bets.’

Sully tosses one matchstick to the center, where it lands next to the pile of scrap paper. Henry pushes his cards facedown to the center.

‘Fold,’ he says, and makes a sound like growling in the back of his throat before adding, ‘I can’t get nothing.’

‘That ain’t a surprise,’ I say under my breath.

Now it is my turn. I throw my free hand up. ‘How do I know I should bet? It ain’t teaching me if no one says a word.’

They start cawing all at once.

Jeremiah is first, saying, ‘If you got a pair, like two twos, you should bet—’

Then Will: ‘The higher your pair, the better. If you’ve got cards in a row, then you’re betting for a straight …’

‘Course, nothing beats a royal flush. A royal flush is a straight flush to the ace …’

Nothing in my hand matches, but I want to get the most practice. I set my matchstick in the middle and they all look at me.

‘You’ve got to say whether you’re seeing or raising,’ Jeremiah says low.

‘What’s seeing mean?’

‘That you’re betting what we all bet.’

‘Well, ain’t it plain if I put out the same thing as the rest of you?’

Jeremiah says, ‘You’ve just got to say it. Maybe you ain’t done betting yet. If you don’t say it we don’t know.’

‘Fine then,’ I say too loud, ‘I see you all.’

Jeremiah being nice now don’t make up for him never setting Henry straight. Will raises his eyebrows at me. I stare back.

Finally Will blinks and says, ‘I’m out.’ Then he deals the next card up.

Sully grins himself silly and throws out three matchsticks.

Jimmy sighs and folds, Henry muttering something about Irish luck. Jeremiah gives Sully a slow grin and drops three matchsticks of his own. I think hard. I ain’t got a card that matches and nothing in a row and I can’t see my way around losing three more matchsticks.

Jeremiah leans close. ‘What you got showing ain’t no good.’ I know he’s talking about the cards, but I reach up to the back of my neck, where my short hair bristles, and wonder what he sees when he’s looking at me, if there’s anything he likes the look of.