How to Kill Men and Get Away With It(50)

After our feast we lounge around a bit more and I end up falling asleep in the way you only can when you’re on holiday, sun and liquor soaked, relaxed and somehow exhausted despite doing nothing but lying around. I slip in and out of consciousness before falling into a deep and dreamless sleep, the sound of the sea my lullaby.

When I wake up, I’m disorientated and shivering slightly as the sun has begun its golden descent into the horizon. My head is fuzzy from the wine and sangria. I sit up, discombobulated and look around. Tor isn’t snoozing on the other pool bed as I expect her to be, so I stumble inside.

‘Tor? Tor?’ I call out, but the suite is eerily silent.

My phone is lying on my bed where I left it charging. I register an intense stab of disappointment when I see there’s nothing from Charlie.

There’s a stream of texts from Tor though, who informs me that she’s gone out to some bars and that trying to wake me was like waking the dead. She tells me the name of where she is and assures me she’s with some girls she met at the hotel bar while I was conked out.

‘Come out and play!’ she pleads, but I see her messages were sent over two hours ago and she probably gets the hint that I’m not up for a night out.

‘Just woken up!’ I reply. ‘Going to have a swim and go to bed. Sorry am boring. So exhausted. I want all the goss in the morning okay xxx’

She replies a few minutes later with a sad face emoji and then a selfie with two gorgeous girls she’s obviously befriended while I was asleep. I smile to myself. Tor has none of the inner angst that I do. It exhausts me because I have to put on an act all the time, while it comes naturally to her. I send her a line of kisses and tell her that I’ll see her in the morning. I then swim lengths of the private pool until my arm muscles simply can’t do any more. I shower, pick some nuts from the minibar and fall asleep to an Eighties romcom that I can’t remember the name of but has Sarah Jessica Parker in it.

I’m not sure how long I’m asleep for. I’m woken up by an animal-like noise coming from the living area of the suite. My heart pounding, I remember I didn’t close the bifold doors before going to bed. I grab the only things that I can possibly use as weapons – a stiletto and a can of hairspray – and gingerly tiptoe into the lounge. But there’s no wild animal there, just Tor looking like I’ve never seen her before. Her make-up is smeared all over her face, her clothes are dirty, her hair is a total mess and she only appears to have one shoe. She’s lying facedown on the white sofa, her body convulsing with howls. That’s the noise I thought was an animal. All I can do is stare in horror for a few moments before I tentatively walk over to her. I can only assume she’s had too much to drink and has had some kind of falling-out with the girls she was with. But I’m baffled as Tor wouldn’t act like this. She’d come striding in like Beyoncé circa Lemonade and make me sit up doing shots with her until whatever it is didn’t matter anymore. As I put my hand on her arm, she jumps up violently, recoiling deep into the corner of the sofa and staring at me like I’m the wild animal. A second or so of confusion crosses Tor’s face before she recognises me and her expression changes from fear to … something I’ve never seen on Tor’s face before … utter brokenness.

‘Kitty.’ She holds her arms out to me like a toddler.

I go to her, wrapping her in my arms, stroking her hair, letting her sob into my shoulder.

‘What’s happened?’ I glance at the digi-speaker-clock thing. It’s 5.30am. The sun is beginning to wake up, casting a golden glow throughout the room.

She doesn’t answer for a few moments, just sobs silently in my arms.

‘Tor what is it? Has someone hurt you?’

She nods.

‘I’ll get you a drink.’ I head to the minibar and pour two glasses of brandy. Tor swallows hers down in one, then wipes her eyes and takes a deep breath.

‘We went out on a yacht,’ she tells me. ‘The girls I was with had met some lads a few days ago and they said we should all go out on their boat. It was called Liberty. It started off fine. We were all drinking and there was coke. But then I started to feel really, really out of it.’ She pauses and I hand her my glass of brandy, which she sips more slowly this time. ‘You know me, Kits, it’s not like I can’t handle my drink and drugs, but I was out of it. I could barely even stand at one point. One of the guys, I can’t remember his name, seemed nice, trying to help me. He took me down to one of the berths in the boat so I could lie down. But then he started kissing me. I tried to push him off and tell him I had a boyfriend, but nothing worked. I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t move. I had to just lie there while he … he …’ She downs the brandy. ‘Could I have another one please, babe? I think I’m still in shock.’ Her hands are trembling as she hands me her glass.

‘Sure.’ I head back over to the bar. ‘So he raped you. That’s what this is?’

She nods as I hand her the drink. ‘But that’s not all.’

I brace myself for whatever is coming next.

‘I must’ve passed out completely because the next thing I remember is waking up and one of the other men, I think his name was Archie, was in bed with me, touching me. I was too scared to say anything so I pretended I was still unconscious while he had sex with me too.’ She breaks down at this point, collapsing in my arms. I don’t know any words that can make this better for her, so we sit there as the sun fully rises, me stroking her hair until she cries all the tears she can.