How to Be a Bawse: A Guide to Conquering Life(36)
Aside from implementing fixes to small problems, it’s important to also eliminate stress around larger events and recurring tasks. I travel a lot, and that can either be pleasant or horrible. There’s seldom a middle ground. As you can imagine, every time I travel there are many things that get added to my stress list. By now, I’ve identified the things that vastly improve my travel experience, none of which require more than a little time and effort:
??Confirming my vegetarian meal. They will always screw this up. You must do it online AND call the airline to confirm. It’s basically rocket science for them.
??Securing a window seat on the right side of the plane. I have neck issues that are more prominent on the left side of my neck, so leaning my head to the left gives me migraines.
??Bringing my own shawl. I am always freezing with just the blanket they provide and never get any work done because I’m trying not to die of frostbite.
??Prepping for the immigration card. I have a picture of my passport saved in a secure folder on my phone so that I can easily fill these out. Also, I always make sure I have a pen easily accessible in my backpack.
The above guidelines are now routine. You may think, “Okay, really, Lilly? The right side of the plane?” But hey, why not make little changes that make a difference to you? Every little bit of stress you eliminate contributes to a more productive day. That’s not being a diva; it’s placing yourself in a situation that allows you to be in optimal form.
Another example of being proactive: having meetings after recurring events to review how things went. If you’re going to be with the same team for a long time, you need to work together to make sure things go smoother and smoother each time. When I was on tour, the cast and crew and I would have a debriefing after every single show, from the very first show to the thirty-first show. Yes, we had a debriefing just for fun after the last show (we’re obsessed). We would discuss every technical error or mishap in choreography and come up with a solution right then and there. Sometimes the solution was complicated and required a change in music, and other times the solution was as minor as someone moving slightly to the left. Everyone communicated their issues and we all worked on solutions. The result was a cleaner show every single time.
The next time you’re in a stressful situation, instead of becoming flustered and frustrated, take a deep breath and ask yourself, “What can I change next time to avoid this situation?” And then proactively take steps to implement a solution. We only have twenty-four hours to finish today’s level of Mario Kart, and we need to maximize our ability to get things done. After all, we have as many hours in the day as Beyoncé, but we’re at a disadvantage already, because we’re not Beyoncé. Just kidding! You’re just as capable as Beyoncé! Yeah, I said that.
I can see Luigi trembling in his boots already.
Apply It
List two things that stressed you out this week and come up with solutions to eliminate them.
MY OMELETS ALWAYS turn into scrambled eggs. I start off with confidence as my eggs spread perfectly across the pan in a magnificent circle. Every single time I think, “OMG, am I an Iron Chef?” As I order a chef’s hat off Amazon with one hand, I use the other hand to flip my omelet. One hundred percent of the time I perform this move prematurely and my omelet breaks into at least three pieces. After staring at my failure for five seconds (and attempting to cancel my Amazon order), I grab my spatula and break the eggs into even more pieces. I like scrambled eggs better anyway.
Failure doesn’t necessarily mean the end of an idea or project. When things don’t go the way we anticipate, it’s easy to feel like we have to start over, but that’s not always the case. Just because one door has closed, it doesn’t mean it can’t be knocked down or forced back open. I know the quote goes “When one door closes, another opens.” But why didn’t anyone ever try opening the closed door? Or better yet, finding a back door? I just feel like that quote doesn’t factor in effort or imagination or logic. A Bawse knows that, yes, sometimes failure does indeed mean starting over. But a Bawse also knows that other times failure can be molded into unexpected success.
In December 2015, I was working on my “12 Collaborations of Christmas,” a series I do every year that consists of twelve high-profile collaborations with a holiday theme. Each year I try to make the series bigger and better (obviously, like a Bawse), and I reach out to people who excite me, so that they can excite my audience as well. I’ve worked with people like Stephanie McMahon, Adam Devine, Russell Peters, and Gina Rodriguez. That year I decided to reach out to one of my biggest inspirations, an A-list movie actress, whom I adore. I had a good feeling about it, because she had a film set to release during the holiday season. You see, when another artist has a new project coming out, it’s easier to confirm a collaboration because there’s an opportunity for cross-promotion. Apparently there was an event being held in New York City in two weeks that was aimed toward marketing her upcoming film. Part of the marketing plan was to highlight influential women through a variety of media, including online content. Ding, ding, ding! Hello, I am a creator of online content, how may I help you?
My team set up a call for me to pitch an idea for a collaboration. I came up with a creative challenge called the “#GirlLove Challenge.” The idea was to make a game out of spitting rapid-fire compliments at pictures of influential women and encourage viewers to do the same. Very simple and effective. To my great joy, my idea was well received, and I was all set to fly to New York to shoot the video in just a few days. I was over the moon. And not just our moon. Jupiter’s moons. All sixty-seven of them.