Her Perfect Family(53)

After nearly two years, he caved. Signed the divorce papers. He had never felt such a failure.

In sickness and in health . . .

He’d let Laura down and he’d let himself down.

Through all this, Mark coaxed him out when he could. Drinks here and there. A movie. He tried to get him to talk properly about what had happened with Laura but Ed said there was nothing much to talk about. We got married too quickly. End of.

And then one cold week in November, Mark and his girlfriend Lottie invited him to dinner. Just a few nice people. Please come.

It was all very last-minute – a call just a couple of hours ahead of the meal. He doesn’t even remember why he said yes in the end. Maybe precisely because it was late notice. No big deal. But suddenly he was ‘out’ on a Saturday evening, freshly divorced and freshly showered in a clean shirt, and there she was. Rachel in her red dress with her big, broad smile and her sparkly eyes.

‘I hear you were in Canada. So what’s Canada like?’

‘I don’t really like to talk about it to be honest.’ He looked into her face and waited for the wary expression. He waited for the follow-up questions and the narrowing of eyes. He waited for her to look bored; to excuse herself to the bathroom so she could return and talk to the guest on her other side without seeming rude. But to his surprise, none of that happened.

That night . . . or ever.

Instead Rachel leaned in closer and her smile broadened. ‘Well that’s fine by me. Let’s forget Canada. So what do you like to talk about?’





CHAPTER 36


THE DAUGHTER – BEFORE

Revenge is not forced upon a person but is a choice. Discuss in relation to A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens.

I still feel numb. I still feel angry. And I still feel a complete mug.

But I also feel just a tiny bit more in control, because at least I’m getting information together. Proper information on my options.

I finally got to see ‘S’ yesterday and I’ve spent most of the time since in bed or on the phone, trying to be more practical. I will not let that man ruin my life . . .

I now have an assessment booked. Apparently they can do a scan to work out my exact dates so I know exactly how long I have before I need to make a final decision. They’re also offering counselling which I will definitely need because I honestly still have no idea what to do.

When I got back to my flat after seeing them together – ‘S’ and his very pregnant wife – I was so furious, I wanted revenge. I admit it; I wanted to tell everyone. I wanted to ring my friend Maddy. Post it on social media. Stuff his stupid job. I go cold thinking about it now – the fallout if I’d done that, I mean. But thankfully I calmed down quickly enough to realise a public showdown would reflect as badly on me as him. And it’s not just me any more. I have to think of the baby. If there’s even to be a baby.

So I sent a text to ‘S’, threatening to call round at his house for a chat if he didn’t reply.

He replied.

We met at a hotel we’ve been to before in a small village. I had to take a damn train again, fuming all the way. This time he didn’t book a room. He met me in a tiny alcove in the corner of a snug bar at the back of the place.

I can only assume he was planning to break up with me while securing a promise not to kiss and tell. So I decided to come out with it straight.

‘I’m pregnant. I’ve been trying to contact you ever since I found out.’

The shock on his face was extraordinary. ‘Pregnant? But I thought you were on the Pill?’ He was whispering and glancing around.

‘I am. I don’t know how it happened. So why the radio silence? Ghosting me.’

He ran his fingers through his hair and I watched his face really, really carefully and it was like seeing him for the very first time. I honestly couldn’t believe in that moment that I had been such a fool. He feigned all this concern. Tilted his head. And suddenly instead of seeing this man as mature and kind and genuinely into me, it was like watching him through this new lens; an actor rehearsing.

‘Wow. Poor you. What an awful worry.’ He leaned forward and touched my hand.

I pulled it back. ‘Yes. Poor me. So why didn’t you text me back?’

I wasn’t ready to tell him what I already knew; I wanted to see what lies he would tell me. How he would try to squirm out of the hole. But I honestly had no idea just how callous he would be.

‘I’ll pay. You mustn’t worry about the money.’

‘What?’ I could feel all this bile bubbling up. I was so shocked and so angry I wanted to hit him. I had to clench my hands into fists on my lap to stop them trembling.

‘Well. You can’t keep it. You won’t want to keep it.’ He paused. ‘I do know it will be unpleasant. Awful for you. But I’ll help you through it. You will get past this.’

‘And what if I want to keep it? The baby. Our baby?’ Until that moment, I honestly hadn’t let myself even imagine this. I am terrified of a termination but kind of imagined I’d have no other option. But ‘S’ taking it instantly for granted I would do that, without a second thought, was too much.

‘Well. You can’t keep it. How can you keep it? Bring up a child?’

‘I thought you were going to leave your wife down the line. That’s what you said. That’s what you made me believe. That we were going to be together.’