Her Perfect Family(52)

Rachel’s phone buzzes. ‘It’s a text from Helen. She’s watching the news too. The national bulletin must be running a summary.’ She pauses to read some more. ‘She’s sent her sister’s number. So what do you think? She’s experienced with the media. Shall I ring her?’

‘No. I don’t think that’s a good idea at all. The fewer people we speak to the better.’

Rachel hesitates and then Ed can see a male reporter, just finishing his live update on the TV screen above Rachel’s head. The journalist suddenly turns towards the car park, which is behind him. It’s not possible to see Alex from the reporter’s position. Ed suspects that’s deliberate in case something awful happens.

‘Wait a moment. I’m just hearing something . . .’ The reporter seems to be listening to someone out of shot. When he turns back, his eyes are at first difficult to read.

‘OK. The police are just sharing an update.’





CHAPTER 34


Black and white


Shouldn’t it always be what’s best for the child? Isn’t that always the bottom line?

Here is the way I see it. I have everything ready. Everything set up. I am prepared to do this properly. To put everything else on hold for this. That’s what a child needs. Absolute dedication. Unconditional love.

A person who doesn’t want a child shouldn’t have that child. The child would be better off somewhere else. With someone who wants them.

Being wanted is the most important thing of all, surely.

It’s not rocket science. It’s simple.

I am ready to do this. Make the sacrifices. The child should be with me.

People are not always what they seem to be. And sometimes people just will not listen. Or believe. Or face up to the truth.

But I know the truth. And I see things clearly here. I see things that other people cannot see. People just need to listen to me now . . .

I feel completely sure that I know what’s best here.





CHAPTER 35


THE FATHER – BEFORE

Ed Hartley was certainly not looking for love the night he met Rachel.

He’d given up on love – in fact had pretty much given up on life. Back in England after the nightmare of Laura’s illness, he’d told no one the truth of what had happened in Canada. Without parents to take an interest and no siblings, there was just a small circle of friends who were all surprised to learn he was back so soon.

So what happened?

At first Ed hedged his bets, imagining he would eventually be returning to Canada. That a treatment programme would be found for Laura. Given this, he dodged all the questions out of loyalty to his wife. He didn’t want her to be judged and he didn’t want to be judged himself for seeming to have abandoned her.

But as the weeks stretched to months with Laura’s condition getting worse rather than better, his strategy came undone. He felt utterly isolated.

His circle of friends was the usual mix of old and newer via work. There were a few university friends who kept in touch and a couple of boarding-school friends who knew him a little better, being aware of his childhood trauma. There was also Mark, who’d worked alongside him at the agency before Canada. Ed liked Mark. A laid-back kind of guy with a dry wit and a warm smile. He wasn’t as blokey and showy as some others in marketing. They often had drinks together on a Friday. He and Laura had invited him for supper a few times and she’d liked him too. They’d issued an open invitation for Mark to visit them in Canada. They’d even exchanged letters over possible dates but of course the trip never came off.

Mark was one of the first to get in touch with both curiosity and concern when Ed was suddenly back in the UK. Ed played it cool. Put on his brave face. He shared only that he and Laura were sadly trialling a separation. He let the assumption of an affair hang in the air, neither confirming nor denying leading questions. He got sympathy and curiosity and handled both from his dazed state with a mixture of detachment and annoyance.

Still Ed was hoping to keep Laura in his life. What he didn’t realise at the time was he was already slipping slowly into a depression. He had some savings and set himself up initially in a budget hotel near Bristol. He spent his days filing his CV with recruitment agencies, stressing that he didn’t mind where he worked but he needed something fast. He didn’t want to commit to renting anywhere to live until he knew where work might take him.

His CV was thankfully sound. And in the end it was Mark who came up trumps work wise. He’d moved and was now in a senior role in a marketing agency in Manchester; he offered Ed some freelance contracts with clients in the sector he knew well. Drinks and hospitality. Ed did so well he was offered a contract, which Mark hinted was very likely to turn into a full-time job. So Ed took the plunge and got himself a studio flat with river views.

He couldn’t say that he was happy but he found a way to function. The hermit life. He phoned Canada every week at first, pushing for permission to visit Laura. But there was no change in her condition and no change in the advice for him to stay away. Slowly her parents became more distant on the phone. The gap between calls became greater. After six months they raised the ‘D word’, believing it better for Laura. Better for them too. Get on with your life, Ed. This is the best way to help her. Let her go . . .

He resisted. He investigated therapies in the UK. But it was like pushing water uphill. And there was no way Laura could travel. Or even see him.