Heartless (Chestnut Springs, #2)(96)

All I wanted from the main house was the bags of cement from the shed. All I need is to get lost in some physical labor. Alone. Away from pitying looks and overbearing family.

But here I am, watching Luke shout “hello” down the well. It should make me smile, but smiling feels hard today.

Smiling without Willa around feels impossible.

“Dad. Do you think there could be someone down there?”

Okay. Creepy. “No pal. Just a bunch of coins.”

His head cants to the side curiously. “Coins?”

I sigh heavily, dropping the bags on either side of myself as I trudge toward the well. “Yeah. My mom and I used to toss coins down there and make wishes.” I peer down into the black hole, feeling kindred with it somehow. Empty. Echoey.

“Grandma?” Luke knows all about his grandma Isabelle, even though he never got to meet her.

“Yeah. She named this ranch after the well. When they bought the land Grandpa told her she could name it whatever she wanted.”

“What would you wish for?” He peeks in again, and I put a hand on his shoulder. Watching him lean over the edge gives me full-blown anxiety.

I scrub at my beard with the opposite hand, racking my brain. I can’t remember. That part of my life feels like a lifetime ago. Like another life altogether. “Probably candy.”

Luke’s head bobs in approval. “Smart. Did your wishes come true?”

My lips quirk at that. He never fails to lift my spirits. Knowing my mom, I’m sure a bunch of our wishes did come true. “Usually.”

“Do you have any coins? I want to make a wish.”

Weight lands in my stomach and my lungs constrict. Such a simple request, and yet it feels intensely meaningful. I’m doing with my little boy what my mom once did with me.

I pull my wallet out wordlessly, unzipping the small coin pouch.

“Does it matter what kind of coin?”

“No, bud.” I press a silver coin into his hand but pause as I’m about to put the leather wallet away. With a little shake of my head, I take one more coin out.

One for myself.

“Okay,” I start, swallowing the uncharacteristic thickness in my throat. “On three. Close your eyes.”

Luke’s eyes clamp shut, and a hint of steel flashes on his face. He’s focusing very hard. Taking this very seriously.

I ruffle his hair once, reminding me of silky, coppery strands as I do, and then I close my eyes. “One . . . two . . . three . . .”

The sound of our coins plunking into the water below mingles with the sound of wind chimes on the back porch.

Eyes shut, I wish for Willa.

A life with her.

A family with her.

Gray hair and more laughter with her.

When I open my eyes, Luke is staring at me with a thoughtful expression on his face.

“What did you wish for?” I ask him, needing something lighthearted. Thinking it will be something ridiculous. Something frivolous.

Instead, he delivers a gut punch.

One soft cheek hitches up, and he glances back down into the dark well. “I wished for Willa to come back.”

My eyes burn when I pull him into me, feel his tiny arms clutching at my waist.

And my voice cracks when I say, “Me too, pal. Me too.”





35





Willa





Willa: How is Cade?

Summer: Full hermit-mode. Back to hating everyone. Please come fix him.

Willa: I’m on my way.





With a positive blood test in hand, I get in my Jeep and start the drive back out to Wishing Well Ranch.

As city streets morph into freeways that morph into country roads, I let my mind wander to how things have changed since the last time I drove out here. How I flew out here on a whim, wind in my hair and not a single responsibility on my radar.

Yeah. Things have changed. Drastically.

But I’m oddly at peace.

I’ve shed tears the last couple of days, and I am not a crier. I’ve made plans for myself, and I am not a planner. I have fresh perspective. Took the space I needed to process.

I’ve realized I’m better with Cade than I am without him. And I think he’s better with me too. I intend to tell him as much and then watch him roll his eyes at me.

It’s going to be so romantic.

As the drive wears on, I get lost in my thoughts and my anxiety grows. What-ifs pop into my head. I listen to the most upbeat ’80s music I can find and chew nervously on my nails, hoping that he wants this as much as I do. Hoping I haven’t made him feel stuck.

When I reach the long driveway, I put my Jeep in park and take some deep breaths and shift in my driver’s seat and start doing the drunk-girl pep talk again. Except I’m dead sober and my concerns are way bigger than if I look sweaty or stumble in front of a hot guy at the bar.

I’m a smart, capable adult. I have family and friends who love me. This is just another opportunity for me to start a new chapter in my life. I’m a hot fucking mess.

Shaking my head at myself, I put the Jeep back into drive and head straight for Cade’s little red house.

The little red house with a freshly poured sidewalk out front.

The little red house with a sweet dark-haired boy strumming his guitar on the front step.