Heartless (Chestnut Springs, #2)(92)

But so am I.

When we pull up at the house, I put the truck in park but stay staring out the front windshield.

“Look, Red, I’m trying not to be a domineering asshole, but I want to know what’s going on in that pretty head of yours. I can see the gears turning. I can tell by the way you’re sitting. By the tension in your hand. Usually I can’t get you to shut up unless I stuff your panties in your mouth. So this?” He gestures between us. “This is weird.”

A raw laugh lurches out of me, and tears spring up in my eyes. I pull my hand from his to rub at my face, to bring some circulation back to my head, because I feel like I’m living in some alternate dream world. Like this can’t really be happening to me.

It feels like the best way to do this is to rip off the Band-aid. Fast, painless—get it over with because I can’t handle these levels of anxiety in my body.

“I’m pregnant.”

Those two words come out sure and steady. So much surer and steadier than I feel right now.

Cade stares at me blankly. His mouth pops open and closes again, and then he shakes his head, like it might make reality seep back in.

“Surprise?” I add awkwardly. “I’m sorry,” I add even more awkwardly.

My head is spinning, and I’m feeling like I could use a moment alone to get my bearings—to process this—because saying it out loud to him feels so much more real. “I just found out at the hospital and have been trying to find the courage to tell you. I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?”

“I didn’t do this on purpose.” He blinks at me. “I swear I’m on birth control, but apparently barfing it up for two days straight isn’t ideal.”

His hand slides over his stubbled chin as he sucks in a breath. Oh god, he’s not saying anything, and my anxiety is growing exponentially, doubling.

Like cells.

Fuck. What is wrong with my head?

“You’re just so young.” Not the words I wanted to hear right now.

“Good God. You act like I’m a clueless teenager! I’m twenty-five! Stop treating me like I’m a child. That excuse is insulting.” I huff out an agitated breath. “I think I need a night alone to just process this.”

He scowls at me and still says nothing, so I just keep talking. “Yeah. Yeah. That’s what I need. And you do too.”

I’m starting to spin out. I stare down and rifle through my oversized purse to find his painkillers, feeling a full-on freak-out like I’ve never had coming on. My hand wraps around something long and slender and I pull out . . . a carrot?

My eyes water and panic rises, and I just toss it in the back seat.

“Was that a carrot?” is the first thing Cade says to me since I told him I was pregnant with his baby.

An excellent sign, to be sure.

I finally find the bottle of painkillers Winter dropped in the room before leaving with a gentle goodbye. “Here.”

“Why is there a carrot in your purse?”

Jesus. I’ve really broken his brain. Who can blame him though?

“I’m going to sleep at the main house tonight.”

He blinks. “Like hell you are.”

I jump out of his truck, taking the few strides over to my Jeep before clambering into the driver’s side seat. Am I handling this well? Probably not. But I’m having a moment, and all he’s doing is scowling at me and asking me about the carrot.

Cade grabs the door of my Jeep before I can close it and glares at me.

“I’m sorry,” I say. “I’m very aware that I’m not handling this well.”

“We need to talk,” is all he says, and it sounds so foreboding that dread settles in my stomach.

“I need a night alone. To gather my thoughts. So do you.”

I expect him to argue, and there’s a little part of me that wants him to throw me over his shoulder the way he did that day Luke and I hid from him. He slapped my ass and laughed, but this time he gives me a terse nod, and my stomach sinks.

He slams the door and pats the hood as I woodenly twist the keys in the ignition. I suck in a deep breath before shifting into drive. I pull away, feeling shaky and teary and totally lame for leaving him there after dropping that bomb.

I see his outline standing in the driveway even as I round the corner.

And my last thought before I lose sight of him is that he deserves better than being back here again. Because he’s so damn honorable that he’ll stick himself with me and this baby.

Even if it’s not really what he wants.





32





Cade





Cade: Willa is heading to your place. Can you let me know when she’s there safe, please? She’ll need the guest room.

Harvey: What did you do to her?

Cade: Why is that the first place your head goes?

Harvey: Because you have a knack for ducking things up.

Cade: Ducking?

Harvey: Duck off. You know exactly what I mean.

Cade: My fingers are broken. Thanks for your concern.

Harvey: My only concern is about possible brain damage since you let your girl walk out. She’s here safe.

Cade: My brain is fine.

Harvey: Could have fooled me.