Heartache and Hope (Heartache Duet #1)(70)

“Oh, Mama.” I settle my head on her chest, my eyes drifting shut when she holds me to her.

“Stay with me, Ava? Just until I fall asleep?”

I wipe my tears on her covers, then suck in a breath, attempt to keep my broken heart bound. “Of course.” I get into her bed and try to be her courage while hiding my weakness. She holds me close, using just a portion of the strength of the woman she used to be. The mother she used to be.

I lie awake, listening to her breaths settle until I know she’s asleep. Then I get out, careful and quiet. I wipe the wetness off my cheeks before opening the door and facing Trevor.

“Is she down?”

I offer the most genuine smile I can come up with. “Yeah, she’s sleeping like a baby.”

Trevor nods, goes back to watching whatever game is playing. I go to the bathroom and retrieve my phone.

Connor: I figured something was up when there was no balloon. I hope everything’s okay?

Connor: Just got out of the tub. Is everything okay there?

Connor: Can you come out in five? I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.





I look at the time stamp. It was sent over a half hour ago.

Ava: Sorry, I just got the message.

Ava: I can maybe come out now if you’re still up for it.

Connor: Slipping on my shoes.





I tell Trevor I’ll just be five minutes, and practically run outside, my heart racing, longing for the only person in the entire world who’s capable of letting me forget, even if it’s just for a minute.

I wait for him on the sidewalk, smiling when I see his door open. I’m in his arms a moment later, and it should be impossible—that one person can hold so much power in just their embrace—but I physically feel the tension inside me dissolve until it’s just him and me and now. “I miss you, Ava,” he sighs out.

“I know. Me, too.”

He pulls away but keeps his arms around my waist, holding me close. Looking down at me, his eyes shift, as if taking me in for the first time. “I promise, once the season’s over we’ll go back to normal.”

Normal. As in one class every other day and lunch breaks and the occasional ride together to and from school. As opposed to what it’s been like the past two weeks… when I get to see him in class but not really talk to him, and sometimes he’ll show up at lunch, sometimes he doesn’t. There are no more rides to and from school. The only reason he gives me is that it’s basketball related, but he doesn’t give me much else. Any other girl would become suspicious about who he’s with and what he’s doing. “I understand,” I tell him. Besides, he’s never once questioned my inconsistencies, and apart from that one time for the pep rally, he’s never asked for more of my time than I could give him.

He leans against the chain-link fence of my front yard and pulls me between his legs. I link my fingers behind his neck and just look at him, really truly look at him. He’s in dark jeans and a plain gray hoodie, and his hair’s wet, or… I reach up… there’s product in his hair. I sniff him. “Are you wearing cologne?”

He nods. “You like it?”

“Did you wear it for me?” I ask, half joking.

“Actually…” he starts, grimacing. “One of the guys from the team is having a party tonight, and I said I’d go.”

Oh.

“Is that okay?”

“Connor, you don’t need my permission to go out.”

“I know.” His shoulders lift with his shrug. “I just wanted to check anyway.”

Well, not really. He’s already dressed and ready to go, so he’s beyond checking. He’s just… informing.

“Rhys is coming to get me. He should be here any second.”

I get on my toes until my mouth is level with his. “So we only have seconds to get in days’ worth of making out?”

His mouth covers mine without a response, his head tilting, getting better access. He pulls me closer again until there’s nothing between us. I squeal when his hand covers my ass, squeezing, and then laugh into his mouth. “A little handsy, no?”

Chuckling, he kisses me once more. “I still have a ton of adrenaline. I had a good game.”

“You did?” I ask, annoyed at myself for not checking first. I drop down to the heels of my feet. “Shit, Connor, I haven’t even had time to check. I’m the worst girlfriend ever.”

“You are,” he deadpans. But there’s a gleam in his eye, a slight smile playing on his lips. “You better make it up to me.”

“How?” I ask with a flirtatious lilt.

He’s quiet a breath, his eyes on mine, lips parted. “I was talking about that crazy lasagna you make, but whatever you’re thinking right now, I choose that.”

I tug down on his hoody until his ear is to my lips and whisper, “I want to know what you feel like in my mouth.”

Instantly, he has both hands on my butt, lifting, and my legs go around him, holding on to him as he starts carrying me to his house. “Fuck this party,” he hisses.

I can’t help but laugh. “Your dad’s home, and my mom—”

“Get a fucking room,” Rhys shouts, pulling up to the curb.

We’ve barely made it into Connor’s yard when he releases me back on my feet. I push him toward Rhys’s truck. “Go. Have fun.”