Grounded (Up in the Air, #3)(42)

I noticed that Stephan and Javier were eating crepes covered in syrup, whipped cream, and chocolate chips. I was surprised that James even kept the ingredients for that in his house.

James returned quickly, carrying a very English tea service. He served us all tea, acting the epitome of the well-mannered English host. I told him so.

He smiled. “I get it from my father. English from head to toe. Every cup of English tea that I drink makes me think of him.”

I thought that was a sweet thing for him to share and I gave him a sweet smile.

He winked at me.

I was startled at the response it caused in me. It was a pretty innocent gesture, considering the things he said and did to me on a daily basis, but it still had me turned on in a heartbeat. The man was hot.

We were almost through with our breakfast when I noticed James checking his phone, his expression growing carefully blank from one second to the next.

“Excuse me,” he said curtly.

He rose from the table and strode from the room.

I hadn’t realized how polite he usually was about taking calls during our time together simply because he didn’t do it. Which made me even more curious about what had gotten his attention, and what had put that look on his face. I was on instant alert.

A rare streak of uncontrollable curiosity had me following him within seconds. I wanted to see what had troubled him so badly with just a few words.

I caught him with his back to me in one of the sitting rooms. The door wasn’t completely closed, but he was speaking very quietly into the phone.

“Then offer them more. I mean it when I say I don’t have a limit to what I will pay to keep this from getting out.” He paused. “I don’t give a f*ck if it’s a smart business decision, Roger. This isn’t about business. This is about keeping my life intact, the way I need for it to be, and I don’t give a f*ck if it takes my fortune to accomplish that. Do you understand?” Another long pause. “I am not a fourteen-year-old that you are managing, Roger. I don’t need time to think. I need you to do what I’m asking you to. Take care of this.”

Fear froze me in my tracks, and I stood in the doorway, listening. His tone was so panicked, so desperate. I did not want to know what had put that fear in him.

I didn’t move from the doorway as he ended the call and turned. I had been eavesdropping on him, and I’d just as soon have him know it. Perhaps he would tell me what had happened, and it wouldn’t be as bad as the dread coursing through me was telling me it was.

He flinched when he saw me standing there, and that was so not good for my peace of mind. We suffered through a very long, awkward silence while he rubbed his temples and I watched him.

“Everything okay?” I finally asked him.

He grimaced. “It will be,” he said. That was all.

“Who is Roger?” I asked. Being with James seemed to have added nosy quite firmly to my list of character flaws.

“An old family friend. A sort of mentor to me. And my lawyer.”

I thought that sounded ominous, but he didn’t elaborate, and I didn’t ask him to. If he didn’t want to share, I couldn’t make him.

He moved to me finally. He ran a hand over my hair, grabbing it firmly at my nape. He used it like a handle to tilt my face up to him. There was trouble in his eyes. “Did you mean what you said last night?”

I studied him, beyond confused. “About what?”

His jaw clenched and he watched me for a long time. “About loving me. I know you were tired and scared from the nightm—“

I couldn’t take it. I interrupted him rudely. “Of course I did! I wouldn’t say something like that just because I was tired.”

“Say it again,” he ordered roughly.

“I love you. Of course I do. You shouldn’t doubt me. I wouldn’t say it unless I meant it.”

“How conditional is that love? How much are you willing to withstand just to stay with me?”

I was starting to get angry. “I don’t like the question. Love in a monogamous relationship has to have some conditions, James. If you were unfaithful—“

“I’m not talking about that. I’d never do that. Does your love have other conditions?”

I glared at him, but I shook my head, finding the answer way too quickly. “I don’t think that it does, James. But again, I don’t like the question. Do you want to tell me why you’re asking it?”

He was gripping my hair to the point of pain now. “I’m asking it because every time I think that we’re on our way to building a future together, something from the past gets in the way, and I need to know that won’t happen to us again.”

I thought he was being deliberately vague, but I let it go. I was in no mood to open Pandora’s Box. “The past can only hurt us if we let it, if it really is the past that we’re talking about.”

He studied me, then kissed me roughly. He brought his mouth to my ear. “I want to tie you to my bed. Now. I want to keep you there.”

My brain short-circuited for an instant, going to that sublime place that only James could take me to. “I need to leave for the airport soon.”

“I know. That’s why I want to do it. So you can’t leave.”

I tried to meet his eyes to give him an exasperated look, but he was kissing me, invading my mouth until I forgot why what he’d said was so outrageous.