Golden Boys (Golden Boys, #1)(15)

This is probably just a phase. Momentary cold feet about signing my life away for four whole years.

She clears her throat. “Anyway, Gabriel went out back already. Mom sent pretty much all the snacks we have out with him.”

“Oh, okay. Sorry, I thought he’d be here. Can I go out your back door?”

She lets me inside, and I quickly slip through the house without getting noticed by his parents. Clearly, I can’t be trusted with my own mouth right now, so I better move on before I tell more people I might not have my future as set as everyone thinks.

Gabe’s house backs up against our school’s baseball diamond. There’s a fence, but it’s always unlocked. As I slip through the gate, I see that he’s the first one here. He’s spread a bedsheet over a patch of sand and has claimed one of the corners for himself.

The smell of freshly cut grass and dirt hits my nose as I approach, and it’s one of those perfectly Ohio smells that I might even miss when I’m gone. Though I guess they have grass and dirt in DC, so maybe I’m just feeling sentimental.

“So much for us always being the late ones,” I say with a scoff. I take a seat across from him and survey the snack collection in front of me—trail mix, grocery-store frosted cookies, pita chips and hummus, and a tote bag that likely has even more goodies inside.

“Hungry? Mom gave me enough food for the whole school.”

“I see that,” I say.

He’s far away from me, but a part of me wants to close the distance and give him a kiss. But this is kind of our tradition.

The four of us do this. We take a seat on each of the four corners of the sheet and catch up. It’s something we started doing back when COVID swept through here. Which meant we had to all stay six feet apart when we hung out. We’d slip off our masks and talk in person, sharing some snacks but otherwise staying inside our quadrant.

“I like that we still do this,” I say. “It’s like a picnic now.”

“I like remembering that we all had to go through that,” he replies. “I mean, it was so scary. Still is, kinda.”

A dry laugh escapes my lips. “Everything’s scary.”

“Not to you,” Gabe says. “God, I wish I had some of your confidence right now. How can I feel so passionate about something but so terrified at the same time?”

“You seem to think I can’t be confident and scared. We’re humans; we’re capable of all sorts of emotions at one time.” The words aren’t coming out right, but I let them go anyway. “They’re not opposites, is what I’m saying. Being scared is normal. I don’t know how many times I can tell you that.”

An awkward silence settles across us, and I avoid eye contact, pretending to find something really captivating on the bottom of my shoes. He doesn’t speak up; of course he doesn’t speak up.

He’s so trapped inside his mind, and I just need him to, for once, let it out.

But he won’t, so I continue. “I don’t know what you want me to say. I can’t hype you up anymore. If I keep doing this, then you’re just going to flop when you’re on your own.”

“That’s harsh,” he says, and I’m immediately hit with a pang of regret.

“I’m sorry.” I take a long, cleansing breath. “That was unfair. I think I’m scared too. And I don’t know what to do about it.”

His eyes flicker just past me, and I know that Heath and Reese must be approaching. I build walls up around me again and feel confidence, or something like it, flood into my body. My shoulders pull back; my lips perk up into a smirk. I’ve got this. I’ve always got this.

Something about this summer is throwing me off, I guess. But I know I’ll feel way better once I’m there, suited up and strutting into the Capitol.

“What are we talking about?” Heath says, placing his large palm on my shoulder and giving it a light squeeze.





CHAPTER FOURTEEN

REESE

The vibe’s off when we show up, so I’m guessing we just interrupted some sort of lovers’ quarrel. As Heath smooths things over with his natural charm (or blissful unawareness?) I set the box of bracelets down in the middle of our spots.

“Actually,” Sal says, looking to the box, “I was, um, telling Gabe how Reesey has some gifts for us.”

Heat rushes to my cheeks. The thing is, they’re just bracelets. Nothing fancy, nothing special. I’ve known these boys long enough to know when I’ve given them a present they don’t like, and I get the distinct feeling I’d be crushed if one of them wasn’t impressed by the bracelet, or the charm.

One specific person, that is.

I realize people are expecting me to say something or, at the very least, open the box. I do, slowly, and I see the four copper bracelets rattling around. Heath’s charm looks back at me, and the true nature of the hesitation hits me:

I’ve put so many of my unsaid feelings into this, and now I’m just going to hand it to him. In that way, it feels like I’m showing him how I feel.

“Ooh! What are they?” Heath asks.

“I made something for us. Ever since we started bingeing RuPaul’s Drag Race and Project Runway, I’ve always wanted to try designing some clothing or jewelry, so I came up with the idea to do these twisted copper bracelets.”