God of Pain (Legacy of Gods #2)(80)

And this expression?

It terrorizes me.

This must be what amnesia patients’ family and friends feel like when they realize they’ve been forgotten. That they’re the only ones who recall every small memory, every little detail, every laugh, every smile, every precious conversation.

“Mom? Are you okay?” I speak in a brittle voice, my heart thudding against my chest.

“What… Oh, I’m good.” She breathes heavily, her eyes flitting to my phone that I left on the bed.

“You look anything but good, Mom.”

“It’s probably exhaustion from working at the shelter. I just need a moment.” She sits on the edge of the bed and pats the spot beside her. “Careful of the glass shards.”

Relief zings through me, but the shadows of wariness linger in the room like a third presence.

An ominous sign.

The calm before the horror scare.

Still, I sit beside her and watch her carefully, so carefully that she smiles.

“I’m really all right, Anni.”

“You didn’t look all right a minute ago.”

“It’s just exhaustion. Happens all the time.”

“That’s the first time I’ve seen you like that, Mom.”

“Guess I’ve done a good job hiding it from you guys.” She smiles, ushers me to lie down, and leans my head on her lap so she can stroke my hair.

She used to do this a lot when I was a kid, but as I grew up, she did it less and less. Not that I’m complaining or anything. I’m the one who wants to be an adult sooner rather than later. But I miss her touch.

The in-and-out of her fingers in my hair is nothing short of a soothing lullaby. I close my eyes, picturing myself easily falling into peaceful sleep.

“Baby angel?”

“Yeah?”

“Tell me about the boy in the picture you were just staring at with a dreamy expression.”

I wince, opening my eyes. “Was I that obvious?”

“Uh-huh. You were practically devouring him.”

“I was not.”

“Was too.”

I sigh, turning onto my back so that I’m staring up at her. “His name is Creighton and we’re…sort of going out.”

“Sort of?”

“We haven’t been together for a long time, but time is irrelevant because I share a special connection with him. The type I’ve never shared with anyone else.”

Mom’s fingers pause in my hair and I think her face pales a little, or maybe it’s the lighting. After a moment, she goes back to her soothing rhythm. “Why haven’t you told me about him before?”

“I wasn’t confident that we had a relationship. He didn’t really like me at the beginning, you know, so we had to get past that, and then, well, find compatibility. So I avoided telling you until I was sure about what we share.”

“And you are now?”

I grin. “One hundred percent.”

Her rhythm falters again, but only for a second. “Tell me all about him, his family, his personality. I want to know everything.”

“Where do I even begin?” It takes me about fifteen minutes to introduce Creigh and his family to Mom.

She never interrupts and listens carefully, attentively. Because my mom cares.

“It sounds like you have a lot of fun with him,” she says after I’m done.

“The best ever.” I sigh. “I actually miss him.”

“Can you tell me how the relationship started? Did he pursue you?”

I smile sheepishly. “It was actually the other way around. As I told you, he didn’t really like me at the beginning and said I talked too much. My pride was bruised and brutally stomped upon, I tell you, but then he started to grow fond of me. He even listens to me talk on and on, and said he likes the sound of my voice. Guess that means I brought him around.”

“He…really didn’t pursue you?”

“No. And yeah, maybe a lady shouldn’t chase after a man, but that’s like a Middle Ages mentality. I say women should go after what we want. Also, he did warn me away, thinking we weren’t…compatible, but I soon proved him wrong.”

“Proved him wrong how?”

I chuckle awkwardly. “You don’t need to know.”

“Are you hiding things from me?”

“I just…would rather not talk about it. Everyone needs their own secrets.”

“Since when do you keep secrets from me, baby?”

“Since I’m all grown up.” I grin.

She sighs deeply, the sound slightly chopped off. Her gaze gets lost in the distance and I feel her escaping into another reality that I have no access to. Like earlier.

“Hey, Mom?”

She blinks, focusing back on me. “Hmm?”

“Remember when you told me that if I have someone I love, you wouldn’t let Papa shove me into an arranged marriage? Creighton is that someone.”

She pales, and this time, there’s no mistaking it. But her voice is still composed and soothing. “You’re still too young to know what love truly is.”

“Would everyone stop saying that? I’m not that young, and there’s no explanation for the feelings I have for Creigh besides love.”