Funny Girl(100)

The last show went out on 16 November 1967. The word divorce was never mentioned, but Jim was shown leaving the family home, despite Clive’s protestations.

‘I told you this would happen if we had a child,’ he said after the first read-through. ‘Old ladies will beat me about the head with umbrellas in the street for the rest of my life. Why can’t she leave, if she’s so bloody unhappy?’

‘Women don’t leave their children,’ said Dennis, and then, remembering too late that Sophie’s mother had left her, ‘not as a rule.’

Clive still managed to negotiate an off-screen divorce settlement, though, as compensation for his forthcoming shame: he got Tony and Bill to write an unambiguous speech for Barbara in which she stressed that none of it was Jim’s fault, and he got himself a guaranteed part, at a preferential fee, in the next script that Tony and Bill saw through to production.

The last rehearsal nearly ended with Clive saying, ‘Is that it, then? Do you mind if I slope off?’, but Sophie felt as though she had to recognize the occasion.

‘Thank you,’ she said. ‘All of you.’

‘That’s all right,’ said Clive, and he walked towards the door.

‘Sit down, you unfeeling bastard,’ said Bill. ‘Sophie’s going to make a speech.’

Clive sat down, reluctantly.

‘No, I’m not,’ said Sophie. ‘I just … I didn’t want it all to end without someone noticing.’

‘We all noticed,’ said Clive. ‘But we were trying to end it with dignity.’

He stood up.

‘These have been the best years of my life,’ said Sophie suddenly, and Clive sighed and sat down again. ‘I think they’ve been the best years of your lives too.’

‘Steady on,’ said Bill.

‘What were your best years, then?’ said Tony. ‘The army? Writing jokes for Albert Bridges?’

‘Writing jokes for Albert Bridges,’ said Bill, and he got a laugh, but then he felt bad, so he said, ‘Only joking,’ and he got another one.

‘I’ve never been happy in the way that I’ve been happy in this room, and in the studios,’ said Sophie. ‘I’ve never laughed so much, or learned so much, and everything I know about my job is because of the people here. Even you, Clive. And I’m worried that I’ll spend the rest of my working life looking for an experience like this one, where everything clicks and everyone pushes you to do the best you can, better than anything you think you’re capable of.’

There was a thoughtful, respectful silence.

‘Is that it, then?’ said Clive. ‘Mind if I slope off?’

And this time they let him go.

The last script required both Barbara and Jim to cry; Clive was horrified by the stage direction when he first read it, but he seemed to have an easy access to tears. Nobody teased him about it afterwards. The last words of the last script were ‘Take care, love,’ delivered by Barbara in a broad Lancashire accent that hadn’t been heard since the beginning of the first series. She was holding Jim as she delivered the line, and she had to hold him for a long time, because they wanted to run the closing credits over the embrace. Sophie found herself weeping properly then, and she had to bury her face in Clive’s jacket. She tried to convince herself that she was upset about breaking up with Clive, but it wasn’t that. It was always about the work. She’d never been in love with Clive, but she’d been in love with the show since the very first day.





When the audience had left, Sophie went back to the studio and sat down on the sofa in Barbara’s lounge, while the crew were striking the set. She felt self-conscious, as if she were playing the part of an actress whose popular TV show is ending and wants to do something sentimental to demonstrate that the show has meant something to her. She had to do something different, though. She couldn’t simply have changed, removed her make-up and gone to the Chinese restaurant.

Dennis came to find her.

‘Are you ready for something to eat?’

‘Yes. In a sec. Sit down for a moment.’

There wasn’t much left of the set apart from the sofa, and she could see that Dennis was being made uneasy by the trouble they were causing, but she felt the crew could give her this much. She’d never caused any trouble before.

‘I can’t help feeling we let Barbara down,’ said Dennis.

‘How?’