From the Ashes (The Elder Blood Chronicles, #3)(6)

“I had the protection of a god, remember?” Jala pointed out dryly. The very same god she had disavowed a few short weeks ago. Fortune was manipulating me, and it’s his fault that Finn is dead, she reminded herself.

“I fail to see what has changed,” Valor replied with a smirk as he stood and patted his sword hilt. He offered her a hand up and she accepted it, shaking her head at him with the barest hint of a smile touching her lips. “There is some food prepared near where you were sleeping. Eat something and we will continue. I’d like to get the descent over with as soon as possible. The longer we delay, the more my imagination will paint into the coming fight.”

“Have you even rested, Val?” Jala asked bluntly as she looked over his disheveled form. His armor was battered and filthy and his once pristine cloak hung in tatters behind him in a constant reminder of the fighting they had faced in the first days here. His face was drawn with dark circles heavy under his blue eyes. If he had slept, it certainly wasn’t showing.

“I slept for a time when we stopped,” Valor replied and motioned to the food once again. “Eat.”

Jala nodded silently and returned to her pallet. A plate had been left near the head of it, carefully covered with a cloth. Her stomach growled in response to the sight of food. “I’m amazed I didn’t notice it right off,” she said as she sat and broke off a piece of the fried bread.

Valor shrugged as he moved to his horse. “I would guess your first thoughts revolved around where the hell am I,” he offered as he began systematically checking the straps and buckles of the Arovanni’s tack.

“Something like that,” Jala agreed as she hastily broke off another bite. The food was dry in her mouth but tasted divine after days of dried beef.

“Catch.” Valor called to her and she looked up in time to see him toss a flask to her. She caught it and nodded her thanks before taking a long drink. The water was tepid and stale but it was the best they had aside from Valor’s wine.

“Val, can I ask you something that has absolutely nothing to do with our current mission?” Jala began cautiously between bites.

He glanced back over his shoulder and nodded before resuming his inspection.

“Why did you swear fealty to me?” Jala asked, her tone still cautious. The last thing she wanted to do was offend him. His hands slowed as he continued to tug on the straps and test the buckles. “It’s not that I doubt you. I can scarcely do that, considering where we are right now. It’s just… You barely knew me.”

Valor dropped the last strap and turned back to face her. He rubbed his face absently and moved to sit across from her. “At first, there were two reasons. The primary reason being that Finn wanted me to, bad enough to play the daddy card. I always knew he wanted something from me badly if he mentioned my father. The second was for the very slim chance that I might actually be able to get a fresh start. At that time I didn’t know you and so I saw the chance as a slim one.” He paused and seemed to be trying to organize his thoughts. “It wasn’t heartfelt then, Jala. I won’t lie to you about that, but after you started restoring Merro, I began to see a glimpse of what could be…” He trailed off again and met her eyes. “What you are building is my fresh start. I’ve squandered what I had in Arovan. There I would be lucky to retain my rank as Captain. The only reason I still have it is because I haven’t gone home. If I do return home I will lose my knighthood as well as my military commission. It wasn’t heartfelt then, but it is now.”

Jala nodded slowly and cleared her throat. There was another matter that she had to clear up and it would be more delicate. Once it was settled, however, her mind would be free of doubts on Valor and she would have one person she could trust beyond all others, aside from Finn of course. “When we came back from Sanctuary, Kali kept you longer. You seemed unsettled when you discovered Emily had witnessed your talk with Kali. Why?” Jala pressed gently. She wasn’t sure if he would answer this one, but sincerely hoped he would. The idea of any of her friends being manipulators was painful, but she couldn’t afford for Valor to be one, not right now. She needed his support here too much to risk relying on someone that wasn’t genuinely a friend.

Valor frowned and rose again. Pacing back to the horse he pulled another flask from the saddle bags and moved back to join her once more. The smell of wine filled the air as he removed the stopper and took a long pull. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and let out a long sigh. “Before I answer, may I ask what has raised these questions?” His tone was formal, without the faintest hint of warmth. “Have I given you reason to doubt me?” Valor asked, before she had time to answer.

Jala glanced around the camp and looked back at him. Letting out a long sigh of her own she pulled on her magic and prayed that it would work this time. She wanted to answer the question for him desperately, but knew she couldn’t if others could overhear. A warm tingle brushed her skin as the wards fell into place around them. Her shoulders sagged with relief. Had the protection spell failed she would have had to refuse him and that could have damaged their fragile friendship beyond repair. She could tell by the set of his shoulders that he was upset, though she couldn’t tell if it was actual anger or not. His moods were so much more difficult to judge when he wasn’t around Finn. Around Finn, Valor had been an open book with every emotion worn openly. Without him, the knight was guarded and reserved. “I had a dream while I slept. He called it a waking dream. It was a warning, I suppose, and I was reminded how many times I had been manipulated without even realizing it. Then it was pointed out that my friends could be part of it. I want to trust you, Valor, and in most ways I do, but I’ve trusted poorly before.