Frayed (Connections, #4)(43)

Her smile grows even wider and the air suddenly becomes denser.

I draw her in and embrace her. She lets me, even allowing my lips to linger in the crook of her neck. I can hear her breathe me in and I have to stop myself from grinning like a f*cking idiot.

I slide my palms down to her ass, touching every curve I can along the way. With a slow hiss of breath I say, “Hi there.”

“Hi,” she says with that innocent voice that always seems to come out of nowhere and jump-start my already aching need to take her. Which is what I want to do right now, right here.

“Pizza?” she says, pulling away just as my fingers start to circle around to her hips.

Fuck! I need to play it cool. Don’t chase her away now. Rechanneling my thoughts, I rub my stomach. “Sure, sounds good. I’m pretty hungry.”

“I know a great place and we can even walk.” Her voice tapers off and she seems distracted.

“Everything okay?”

“Just a crazy day. Glad it’s over.”

I straighten and look in her eyes. “Want to talk about it?”

She stiffens. “No. Not now.”

I nod and grab her hand to lead her out of the courtyard. We eat and end up meandering down Sunset for a bit afterward. Just as the sky turns dark we head back to her place with coffees to sit in the courtyard.

“So, what happened at work today?” I ask.

“Oh, really it’s nothing. Tate has me doing two really big weddings next month and the clients are very needy,” she says, sipping her decaffeinated coffee with so much milk and sugar I doubt it even tastes like coffee.

“I thought you were going to quit soon.”

“I was planning on it at the end of the year but haven’t really gotten my own business off the ground. And these weddings are huge. I’ll have the potential to make so many contacts through them I really want to impress them.”

“I don’t doubt you will.”

“Tate is just such a micromanager that sometimes I feel like the clients know he’s babysitting me.”

“Tell him to go f*ck himself.”

She laughs. “I wish I could some days.”

“He’s such a dick-wad, I wish you would.”

She shakes her head. “You don’t even know him. Why do you dislike him so much?”

“I don’t have to know him. I don’t like the way he treats you or the sadness I see in your eyes when you get off the phone with him. And besides, he has the hots for you.”

“No, he doesn’t. We broke up over a year ago.”

My eyes shoot out of my head and before I can stop myself I’m bolting out of the chair. “Are you f*cking kidding me? You slept with him!”

She squishes her lips together in displeasure. “No. Just because I date someone doesn’t mean I sleep with him.”

My blood pressure is boiling. Yeah, I guess I already know that. I look up into the night and stare at the stars, taking deep calming breaths. “I should be going,” I say.

She grabs my wrist. “Don’t be mad. Don’t go. Isn’t it still early?”

Her hand slides to my hand, but I don’t grab it. “Yeah, it is but I took tomorrow off and I’m hitting the surf at sunrise.”

“Really? I’d love to join you.” She takes my hand in hers since I wouldn’t take hers, and electricity jolts me.

I let my annoyance with the jackass go as best I can and grin at her. “Don’t you have Ivy’s release party?”

“Yes, but not until later.”

“Are you sure? You’ll have to get up really early.”

She nods. “I’m sure. I’ll be there,” she says, standing up and staring at me for the longest time.

I kiss her on the cheek, letting my lips linger and start for the gate. I turn around. “The main beach at six thirty,” I say. “In the morning,” I clarify.

“I know that,” she calls before reaching her top step and then disappearing around the corner.

I stay where I am, buzzing from the high of knowing the walls she’s erected between us are crumbling. She has never agreed to come to Laguna—to come to me. Tomorrow should be a whole lot of fun.

? ? ?

Breathe in. . . . now exhale. Feel it. Enjoy it. Don’t rush it. Prolong the awesomeness for as long as possible because while it’s happening you experience only one thing—pure joy. It becomes an addiction . . . you can’t help wanting to do it over and over again. There’s no greater feeling in the world than being one with her. And in that single moment she becomes everything you want and everything you need rolled together. There’s a weightlessness that exists between us as I move quickly—up and down, hovering over her. I gain speed and it’s thrilling, exhilarating, liberating even. I can feel her everywhere—the salty, tangy taste she leaves in my mouth, the way my feet shift to accommodate her size, her cold spray on my body. I break through her ledge and position myself on her peak. She’s large and hollow and I have to move forcefully to stop from getting caught in her lip, but I do it and just like that—I’m riding the best f*cking wave.

The sun rises on this anniversary of sorts and there’s a haze hanging in the air as I enfold myself inside the wave’s whirl. I look ahead and can’t help thinking that for the first time in a long while I’m focused, I have no doubts, and I know where I’m going. It hasn’t been easy. It’s been a long road. I wince at the memories of how poorly I acted—how badly I handled everything. Blinking my sad thoughts away, I look up as the swell emerges from more than one-hundred-foot depths and watch as the silver-tinted waves of the Pacific roll in at a lightning-fast rate. Then I ride her out like a master. When I know my time is up, I take a full breath, all the way from my stomach to my chest, tilt my head back to open my lungs, and take in more air until it happens—the water cascades all around me and I’m completely submerged. Time stands still while I swim through the blur and toward the light. I reach the surface and blinking, I see the clear day that is beckoning on the horizon.