Fractured Freedom(11)

Helpless.

Alone.

Scared.

I was older, but the feelings were still there.

I sighed as I saw the empty mattress on the bottom of a bunk.

“If you’re taking that bed, you better not snore,” came a scratchy voice from above.

“I don’t snore,” I quietly replied, not sure I should introduce myself or just make clear what my cellmate wanted to know. I was a quiet sleeper. None of my siblings ever complained about sleepwalking or anything like that with me.

“Good.” Her scrawny legs hung over the top bunk, and she swung them back and forth as she eyed me up. “Last girl here was loud as shit. Happy her boy got her out quickly. What you in for?”

I cleared my throat. “Um … possession of drugs. I need to make a few phone calls.”

“Good luck. Our bitch of an officer hasn’t given us call time all day.”

That’s when I heard a laugh that sounded just like mine. I threw my stuff on the bunk and hauled ass out of my cell.

I rounded a corner and found her talking to another inmate. She laughed at a joke and seemed completely relaxed, her dark hair braided and hanging over her shoulder.

Izzy fit in everywhere, and here was no different. Somehow, she was gorgeous in the orange jumpsuit and happy to be the center of attention.

Her smile dropped off as soon as she saw me, though. “Delilah? What the fuck? Why are you in here?”

“What the fuck? What do you mean, what the fuck?!” My voice came out like a shrill bird squawking at something. She should have been happy to see me. I’d agonized over her being in here alone and probably sacrificed the next few years of my life for her. For family. And on the flip side, she’d put me here by her actions.

My turmoil whiplashed into anger fast. “Why am I here? How about why are we here?! Should we start with that?”

“I vouched for your innocence in the TSA office.”

“Well.” I cleared my throat. “I vouched for yours.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” She dragged a hand down her face. “Oh my God.”

“Um, you’re welcome.” My eyes bulged at her irritation.

“Welcome for what? I’m still here. What you said obviously didn’t work,” she scoffed.

“You!” I pointed a finger at her and took a step in her direction. A few women’s eyebrows rose, and one even mumbled something about a catfight waiting to happen. I took a breath, trying to calm down. “You tricked me into coming back with you, and you were doing this.”

“It’s not a big deal. I’ll get out in a few months. You need to get a lawyer to get you out sooner. Jesus, you won’t last in here.”

“Oh, this is a competition now? Who’s the bigger and badder sister? You’re so immature, Izzy. This isn’t what life should look like.” I sounded like my parents, but I didn’t care.

She stared at me, her dark eyes hard. “I’m sorry I’m not good enough for you.”

“This isn’t ‘good enough’ for anybody. You smuggled drugs!”

“It was a one-time thing.” She glanced around and then took my arm to hurry me into her cell across the way. “I’m done doing that stuff. I just got to get this one deal done. It’s a long story, okay?”

“You said you’d cleaned yourself up,” I whispered and shut my eyes in pain. She’d promised us all years ago. I thought she was doing better. Sure, she still hung out with people that weren’t the greatest crowd, but who was I to judge?

“You don’t understand. I’m clean. It’s just—”

“You call this clean? You realize we all hurt when you do this, right? You realize Mom about died when she had to send you to juvie. You couldn’t stand, Izzy! You passed out on the damn sidewalk in broad daylight.”

“That was years ago,” she said quietly and looked away.

“And here we are today, smuggling drugs. Smuggling drugs, Izzy! You mean to tell me you’re doing that clean?” I scoffed. “I vouched for you with the family. Mom even said she didn’t want you to visit me here. You know that?”

“Well, Mom will never trust me.”

“Rightfully so, I guess.”

I saw the pain shine in her eyes, but then she covered it up with a couple blinks.

“I shouldn’t have trusted you. I shouldn’t have thought, ‘Hey, we’re sisters, we’ve been through it, and we got over it.’ Screw that. You’re an addict, and you’ve ruined this chance I got here. How am I going to fucking explain this to my boss? I’m going to be fired and …”

The idea of it all was completely and utterly ridiculous, completely out of this world. I was in a jail cell, not even sure when I was going to be free again.

I leaned against a white brick wall for support and glanced around me. What if Mom and Dad couldn’t get us out? We technically were guilty. I took another breath. No air came in.

Another.

No air.

I grabbed the metal railing of the bed to try to steady myself.

My sister jumped in front of me. “Breathe, Delilah. Breathe. In like this.” She formed an O with her lips and sucked in, eyes wide on me like I should do the same.

I did.

Over and over again, we took one very big breath in and let it out as my heart and mind raced over every scenario. “I can’t believe this.”