Flawless Surrender (The Surrender Trilogy, #2)(56)

I’m sorry, Mrs. Keegan, but we’ve done everything that we can for her.

Right now, she was hooked up to a ventilator, and to Zoey’s eyes it seemed like a million little wires held her body here on earth. From the moment she saw her, Zoey feared Eve’s body was all that was left.

In the few short weeks that they were apart, it was apparent Eve had been living a hard life and using regularly. Track marks dotted her inner elbows and small sores marred her sunken cheeks. Her dyed black hair hung limply from her head—what little there was left of it—and Zoey could count every bone in her body because she had lost so much weight.

Clint had tried to keep everyone’s hopes up, but as the minutes turned into hours and then days, it was clear that Eve wasn’t going to get better. Now Zoey was faced with a horrific choice.

There is no brain activity, Mrs. Keegan. At this point, our medical team would recommend that you consider taking her off life support.

Dalton explained it all to her in plain English, doing his best to keep from saying the words “brain dead” or “pull the plug” but Zoey knew without anyone saying them. Her mom had managed to kill herself, the way Zoey always feared she would. And yet again, she left Zoey behind to be the responsible one.

I’m sorry, Mrs. Keegan, but we’ve done everything that we can for her. She’s gone.

The words wouldn’t quit echoing through her brain, and a feeling of defeat and hopelessness swamped her, leaving her at an impasse. She knew that the best thing for her mother was to let her go, but she couldn’t help feeling as if she was stealing her last chance to live. Her emotions bounced back and forth between anger and relief. Both scared her.

She was angry that she would never have a chance to say goodbye, or clear the air. She was angry that she had to give up her right to be mad at her mom. Her mom had stolen everything from her. Money, hope, her childhood… She had spent so many years being angry at her, and now she couldn’t be because her mom wasn’t going to be there to be angry at. She was angry at herself for feeling relief that she would no longer have to worry about her. There would be no more mysterious appearances or disappearances. No more reminders that she wasn’t wanted.

All of those thoughts and a million more filled her head while she fought through the anguish of saying goodbye. It wasn’t possible to be okay with this decision. To their credit all three men had withheld giving her their own personal opinions unless she asked directly. They had done their best to support her without swaying her one way or another, and she couldn’t be more grateful. Even Dalton, who had the most knowledge about what was happening medically, hadn’t tried to influence her as she fought through the cycle of emotions.

“Zoey?” Tanner’s voice grabbed her attention from where she sat in a hard plastic chair staring at the gray commercial grade carpet of the waiting room. “Baby, Dr. Vincent just arrived, the nurse asked me to get you.”

She took a deep breath and stood on shaky knees. Dalton stood along with her and she jumped in surprise. Was she really so oblivious to the world around her that she hadn’t realized he was sharing an armrest with her? His thick fingers laced through hers and drew her hand up to his lips for a kiss.

“Where’s Clint?” she asked, swallowing when her voice cracked.

His beautiful toffee colored eyes met hers as he stepped around Dalton and wrapped an arm around her from the other side. “I’m here, angel. I love you, and I wouldn’t leave you.”

She nodded and then faced Tanner with tears in her eyes. “I don’t want to do this.”

The pain on his face echoed the burning in her heart, and she could barely feel it when he pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I know, baby, and if I could change it, you know I would. I hate to see you hurting.”

“I just can’t let go of the fact that I’m killing my mom,” she whispered into the curve of his chest.

“No! That is not what you’re doing. Your mom died three days ago when she took all of those drugs. You’re just letting go of her so she can be at peace.” Clint, Dalton, and Tanner held her in the center of their three bodies, and she soaked in their strength and love.

When she was feeling a little stronger, she pushed them back and led the way down the hall into the ICU. The doctor joined them in her mother’s room a moment later, asking if she had any questions. Once she had signed the required release forms, a nurse stepped over and began removing the IV line from her mother’s arm. There was a sharp click of a switch, and then nothing. The ventilator stopped rasping air into Eve’s lungs, and the monitors stopped tracking her forced heartbeat. As Zoey watched her mother slipped away, a wide chasm opened in her own chest.

That was it. There was no going back. No changing her mind, or asking for a second opinion. Eve was dead.

Pain and guilt melded in her stomach making her queasy, but she refused to turn away. When the nurse and doctor left the room so she could say her final goodbye, she found herself frozen to the floor. What was she supposed to say?

I’m sorry I just pulled the plug, mom, but you never treated me right anyways, so no hard feelings.

Her lungs felt like they were full of concrete as she forced air into them, and whispered, “I love you, mom.”

Without so much as a tear, she turned and walked out of the room, virtually cutting the last ties to her pitiful childhood that still remained.