Finding Grace(88)

He utters one word. ‘Grace.’

I finish his sentence. ‘Grace is Stefan’s child. I’m so, so sorry, Blake.’

I can’t look at him.

He stands up and walks out of the room. I hear the back door open, and I think he’s going to leave, but when I go into the kitchen, he’s standing in the garden, staring up at the night sky.

I creep silently out of the house behind him, the invasive cold seeping up from the earth through the thin soles of my slippers.

I move closer to him, but he doesn’t look at me.

The sky is black, but the odd star is visible.

‘You know, there are millions and millions of stars up there we can’t see,’ he says softly.

‘I didn’t know that,’ I say, desperate for him to touch me. Hold me.

‘There’s so much we don’t know about this world. Mostly we focus on the beauty we can see and enjoy and the miracles we take for granted every day.’

He looks down at me.

‘The joy that Grace gives us, the love we have for her. Those things are real, Lucie; the rest of the stuff that’s gone, in the past, it doesn’t have to matter unless we let it.’

He bends down and kisses me softly on the lips.

‘We can work through this together. There’s so much more to being a father than mere biology.’ I hear the pain threading through his words, see the agony-laced hope shining in his eyes. ‘Grace is mine and I love her with every fibre of my body. Anything else is incidental.’

I press my face into his chest and sob softly into his warmth, inhale his familiar scent.

We stand, in each other’s arms, for a long time before Blake tilts my chin up to look at him.

‘Let’s start living the life we’re lucky enough to share together,’ he says.

I nod and slowly, together, we walk back inside.