Finding Grace(71)

‘Yes,’ she whispered. ‘I forgive you.’

‘You don’t know how happy that makes me feel.’ To her surprise, tears fell freely from his eyes and splashed into his coffee. ‘Thank you. Thank you for finding it in your heart.’

She pushed her chair back and stood up.

‘I’m really sorry, Stefan, but I have to go. It must have been difficult for you to come here, and I appreciate it. I do. But I can’t handle going back there, you see. I just can’t.’

He stood up too. ‘I understand. Truly I do.’

They left the café together and he said he’d walk with her to the bus station. She felt hot and panicky inside. She just wanted him to go away.

Questions began popping up in her mind. What had happened to Rhonda’s body? Had her family eventually come looking for her?

Lucie had searched online, even called the local newspapers in Newcastle to ask if there’d been reports of a missing female student, but there had been nothing.

She wanted him to answer all the questions she still had but she couldn’t handle talking about it with him. The questions remained unvoiced.

‘Have you got your own place now then?’ he asked her.

‘No, I’m still at Dad’s, but not for long.’ She wanted to kick herself when she said that and his eyes settled on her engagement ring.

‘Looks like someone’s got lucky. When are you tying the knot?’

‘We haven’t actually set a date yet,’ she said. It seemed natural to lie. To keep him at arm’s length.

‘Don’t worry, I won’t turn up at the wedding.’ He grinned. ‘Doing the job you do, you’ll surely have everything planned out to the nth degree. So, when is the big day?’

‘Next month,’ she said in a small voice and immediately felt angry with herself that she’d caved in.

He stopped walking and stared at her.

She felt herself tense up. Was he going to turn nasty when he realised she’d found happiness?

He looked up and swallowed. ‘I never loved anyone like you, Lucinda, I want you to know that. But I’m so happy for you. You deserve all the love and happiness in the world.’

She took a sharp breath in; his kind words had come as a real shock.

‘Thank you,’ she managed to say.

And that was it. Five minutes later, she got on her bus, and Stefan waved and walked out of her life for good.

Or so she thought.





Fifty





The days that followed were full of wedding plans, but this time it was so exciting because they were her own.

Since seeing Stefan, Lucie had thought about him every day. The change in him had been so pronounced, it had totally messed her up. On the one hand, she felt inexplicably lighter inside, as if his apology had untethered the burden of her guilt and it had finally begun to dissipate. On the other hand, her natural mistrust of him stirred uncomfortably in her guts, and the terror of the day he killed Rhonda seemed fresh in her mind.

She felt run down and had picked up a nasty cold. She felt sure the constant unsettled feeling in her stomach was something to do with the downturn in her wellbeing. Yet she felt as if facing Stefan again, looking him in the eyes, had given her permission to be happy with Blake. She appreciated her fiancé’s qualities of honesty and kindness more than ever.

Four days after she’d met up with Stefan, Blake came over to the house. Her dad was working the late shift at the factory, and she’d cooked Blake his favourite meal. Nothing fancy, just a quality rib-eye steak, hand-cut chips and a bottle of a particular Shiraz he was rather partial to.

‘To what do I owe this honour?’ His mouth fell open in surprise when he arrived and she ushered him over to the beautifully set table. Usually they’d order takeout during the week, as Lucie always felt too tired to cook.

‘Can’t a girl treat her man now and again?’ She grinned, carrying through his plate. ‘Just appreciating you, that’s all. Excited that I’m going to be your wife very soon.’

‘You can’t possibly be as excited as I am,’ he said, sitting down at the table and feasting his eyes on the meal in front of him. ‘I can’t wait to be your husband.’

At Pete’s suggestion, they’d decided they’d live with him in the two-bed terrace for a year while they saved for a deposit for somewhere of their own. Blake had a small flat on the wrong side of town, and he was due to exchange contracts on its sale the following week.

Lucie set some background jazz to play and sat down at the table, occasionally sneezing into her tissue.

‘Cheers.’ They clinked glasses. ‘To us.’

‘To us,’ Blake agreed.

If she was completely honest, Lucie had to admit that part of the reason for the slap-up meal was to allay the guilt she felt for not telling Blake she’d gone for a coffee with another man.

But how could she possibly do that without opening a can of worms? If she’d told him an old university friend had tracked her down, he’d have asked how they knew where to find her, and why they wanted to speak to her, and… Blake was no fool, and she’d get all flustered and then he’d know there was something she wasn’t telling him.

Besides, when she’d first got to know him, she’d already passed off her short time at university as a disaster, where virtually nobody spoke to her from one day to the next.