Finding Grace(42)

I’m about to ask Blake to call Dad and Oscar downstairs when the living room door opens and there she is in all her coiffured glory. Nadine.

‘Darling.’ She sweeps past me and embraces Blake. ‘I have no words. We have no words, do we, Colm?’

‘Dear Lucie.’ Colm follows his wife in and walks straight over to me, sitting down and grasping my hands in both of his warm, dry ones. ‘I’m so, so sorry you’re having to go through this.’

Nadine leaves Blake and walks over to me, lays a cool hand on my shoulder.

‘Where’s the baby, dear?’ she asks.

‘He’s asleep. My dad is upstairs with him.’

‘Why don’t you let me take Oscar, just for a few days, until this is all resolved?’

‘It’s an idea, Luce,’ Blake says gently. ‘It will let you get some much-needed rest.’

Nadine’s compassionate smile dissolves instantly when I shake my head.

‘I want him to stay here with me.’

‘But he isn’t here with you, is he? You clearly can’t cope if your father is having to lend a hand and with his own health so questionable… I—’

Colm touches her arm. ‘Leave it, Nadine. Lucie’s made her feelings clear.’

She snatches her hand from my shoulder. Ever since Oscar was born she’s been desperate to get her hands on him. I was barely out of hospital when she tried to discuss which exclusive independent pre-school they’d like to fund for him.

It infuriated me that no such interest was shown for Grace. Both Nadine and Colm had such old-fashioned, outdated ideas about the first boy in the family. Even darling Liberty, Blake’s brother’s daughter, couldn’t live up to that.

Then they’d bought the cottage in rural Nottinghamshire precisely so they could see more of Oscar but I’d shot down Nadine’s plans on keeping him for the entire weekend right away.

‘He’s our son, not hers.’ I’d instantly made my feelings crystal clear to Blake when he tried to argue his mother’s corner. But judging by her increased frostiness these past few months, I think she’s finally got the message.

It hasn’t stopped her trying to capitalise on our tragedy, though.

‘Never in my worst nightmares did I think we’d have a situation like this in the family. Our personal business plastered all over the Internet.’

I can’t recall in seeing or hearing her name mentioned at all yet, but still…

Nadine shakes her head, looking at the floor before turning back to Blake. ‘Tell me what happened. From the beginning.’

As Blake reminds her about Grace’s insistent request at the party to walk home from Olivia’s house, Nadine slips off her dusty-pink cashmere coat, laying it across the arm of the chair.

‘And so you just caved in and decided that she could?’ She looks at me aghast, as something clicks. ‘Come to think of it, I heard you say she could. At the party.’

I nod, mute in my misery. I remember how I impulsively said yes, just to get up Nadine’s nose.

‘I told you, didn’t I? I said that in my opinion, she was still far too young. I know Aisha wouldn’t dream of letting—’

‘Mum, please,’ Blake pleads with her.

‘Liberty tried to push the boundaries too. Heaven knows, they all do! But Aisha wouldn’t hear of it, told her she’d have to wait until she got to senior school. Eleven, she’d have been, is that right? A full two years older than Grace.’

‘But Aisha isn’t Grace’s mother, Nadine. I am.’

The air is thick with blame, with suppressed tension.

‘No use in revisiting all that now, Nadine,’ Colm offers. ‘What’s done is done. The point is—’

‘The point is that Grace should never have been out there on her own,’ Nadine asserts frostily.

I’m biting the inside of my cheek. I can feel my teeth shearing off tiny threads of wet flesh.

‘Whatever possessed you? Both of you?’ She looks at Blake and then at me. But her eyes stay fixed on me, and I can feel the scorching blame radiating from her, solely in my direction.

‘Grace went on and on, Mum.’ Blake’s eyes flicker nervously towards me. ‘She mithered both of us to death about it.’

‘Who’s the child and who’s the parent here?’ Nadine snorted. ‘That’s what I’d like to know.’

‘She just walked up Violet Road, the same road we live on, for goodness’ sake,’ Blake snaps. ‘It’s a five-minute walk. We agreed that Mike would watch her up to the bend and that I’d watch her home from there.’

‘But you slipped, didn’t you, Blake?’ There’s no emotion in my voice. ‘He slipped on the wet moss while he was looking at a message on his phone.’

Blake lowers his eyes.

‘And where were you, Lucie, whilst Grace was walking home alone at dusk?’

I stare at her, not dignifying her spite with a reply.

‘It was just after four thirty in the afternoon, Mum. Hardly dusk.’

‘That’s not what people are saying online,’ Nadine snaps.

Colm coughs. ‘Nadine, that’s—’

‘I don’t care what people are saying online.’ Blake’s cheeks are ruddy. ‘All I care about is getting Grace back home safe.’