Falling into Place(49)

Liz’s locker, however, was on the second floor and on the opposite side of the school, and she was too lazy to walk that far. Since Julia’s locker was conveniently located down the hall, Liz decided to borrow her calculator instead.

When she spun the lock and opened it, however, it was not the calculator that caught her eye.

There was a ziplock bag sticking out of Julia’s backpack.

Liz swore and grabbed it, looking around to make sure she was alone. She shoved it deep in her purse, slammed Julia’s locker shut, and walked back to class.

She didn’t even realize that she had forgotten the calculator until Ms. Greenberg demanded where it was.

“I couldn’t find it,” Liz snapped, and Ms. Greenberg gave her a detention for Friday afternoon for “blatant disregard for the tools of mathematics.”

Liz threw the detention slip away as soon as she left pre-calc, because she didn’t intend to be alive on Friday afternoon.

She headed straight back to Julia’s locker. As she walked closer, she could see Julia rummaging around frantically, searching.

“Hey,” said Liz. “Here.”

Julia snatched the bag, her gaze flashing around to make sure that their exchange had gone unnoticed. “Why did you—”

“I came to borrow your calculator,” Liz said, “and found that. Are you stupid? God. The drug dogs could have come today. Any f*cking teacher could have opened your locker and found it—”

“Seeing as my locker was locked,” Julia said, “I don’t think that would have been a problem. Give me my calculator back.”

“I didn’t take it,” Liz snapped. “Damn it, Julia. Why do you even have it here? You know that you can’t just—”

“I ran out, okay?” Julia said quietly. “I talked to Joshua Willis and he got me some. It isn’t a big deal.”

“It isn’t—the f*ck it isn’t a big deal. You told Joshua Wills? Joshua Willis knows?”

“I told him I was getting it for a friend, okay? Chill. He’d never think it was for me.”

But the words shook as they fell; Julia’s entire body shook, and though she looked on the brink of tears, her voice was angry.

“I have to go to class,” Julia said when Liz was speechless.

Liz watched her walk away, her heart pounding. God, if Julia were caught. She didn’t know what Julia would do. She didn’t know what she would do.

She went to chemistry, but she couldn’t focus on the notes. The teacher lectured on stoichiometry, and at the end of the hour, Liz still didn’t know what the hell stoichiometry was. She hurried down to Julia’s locker and caught Julia just as she was leaving, and when Liz called her name, Julia stiffened.

“We’re going to be late,” Julia said.

“Julia,” Liz pleaded, “please tell me you gave it back to Joshua.”

Julia said nothing.

“Give it back to him,” Liz said.

“Don’t tell me what to do.”

“Please,” Liz said. “Please, Julia.”

“Liz,” Julia said, and her voice cracked. “I can’t.”

“Jules,” she said, but Julia had already disappeared into the swarming crowd of students. Liz leaned against the lockers and was suddenly frightened, because she was losing Julia. And despite the fact that in two days she would lose everyone, she wanted Julia to be okay. Julia was cracking, and Liz just wanted to keep her from falling apart, because in her heart, Liz Emerson knew that she was the one who had put the cracks there in the first place.

Liz attempted to talk to Julia after government, searched for her in the halls when that failed, but Julia avoided her deftly. Because they were not in the same lunch, Liz tried to forget it and listen to Kennie chatter, but everything around her was fog and white noise.

Finally the last bell rang, and Liz caught Julia on her way out of the building. For a few seconds, they walked in silence; then Julia pushed the doors open and a blast of frigid air hit Liz in the face and slapped the words from her mouth, words she’d held back since the first moment she had realized that Julia was addicted.

“Julia,” said Liz. “You need to get help.”

Julia spun around. “Shut up,” she said, and walked away.

Liz kept pace with her, her teeth carving into her bottom lip as she tried to find the right thing to say. “Julia, please,” she said. “Go see a doctor or something. We can keep rehab a secret. Please. God, Jules, you’re going to ruin your life if this goes on—”