Faking It (Losing It, #2)(55)

“Of course I’m scared!” My volume got away from me, and I slapped a hand over my mouth, hoping my parents hadn’t heard. I took a deep breath and continued quietly, “I’m terrified . . . Always.”

Terrified that I’ll never make it. That I’ll wake up one day to realize my parents are right. Terrified that I’ve poured my everything into a career and life that will never happen . . . that I’ve wasted the life that should have been Alex’s.

“What are you scared of, Max?”

“Of everything. Absolutely everything.”

I didn’t say that included him, but I didn’t think I had to. I think he knew.

“Is that what you wanted to hear, Golden Boy?”

He sighed, and put his head down. I was used to disappointing people, but I had}or&ne#x201D; drink





37

Cade

Everyone was seated and waiting for us in the dining room when we came downstairs. This was the first time I’d been in a house that had an actual dining room instead of a table crammed into the kitchen. Her parents were seated at each end of the table, and Michael and Bethany sat on one side, opposite the two empty chairs meant for us. I pulled out Max’s chair for her, and then sat down beside her.

The dinner wasn’t quite as elaborate as the meal Mrs. Miller had prepared for Thanksgiving, but it was close. I could only imagine what Christmas Day would be like.

“Mick?” Mrs. Miller asked. “Will you say grace?”

I started to bow my head, and then Max blurted out, “Can I say it?”

Even Michael looked surprised.

Mrs. Miller blinked a few times, but smiled. “Of course you can, sweetheart.”

She reached out her hand to me, and I took it.

I turned to Max, and held her gaze as I laced our fingers together. Every head lowered, and I followed. But I kept my eyes open and fixed on Max.

She stared at her empty plate as she spoke, as if it might help her find the words.

“Dear God, thank you for this food and for family. For fear and forgiveness.” She paused, like she wanted to say more, but just couldn’t piece together the words. Finally, she let her eyes fall closed and said, “May our lives have a healthy dose of each. Amen.”

A chorus of hesitant amens filled the dining room, and Max stayed staring at her plate. I squeezed her hand and didn’t unlace our fingers.

Bethany placed a napkin in her lap and said quietly, “I’ve never heard a prayer quite like that before.”

“That was lovely, sweetheart,” Max’s mother said.

Max gave a nearly inaudible “thank you,” and it was the only thing she said for the rest of dinner. Luckily, Bethany dominated the conversation. She talked about Michael’s job, and their house, and how they thought they were almost ready to have kids. I was beginning to understand how she stayed so skinny. She never stopped talking long enough to really eat. Max distracted herself by picking at her food, and I distracted myself by staring at Max.

When dinner was over, Mrs. Miller shooed us into the living room while she cleaned up. And without the distraction of food, the discomfort level grew even higher. Mr. Miller pulled me aside to look at the various taxidermy pieces that were scattered across the living room. I’d grown up in Texas, where there were almost as many taxidermy places as there were churches, but I imagined what it must have been like for other guys that Max had brought home. I pictured Mace staring down the glassy, dead eyes of a twelve-point buck, and had to smother a laugh.

We were standing in front of a wild boar, while Mr. Miller recounted his?” she askedElkas hunting trip, when I overheard Bethany talking to Max on the couch.

She said, “It’s never a good sign when the fighting starts this early. I mean, between the arguing you two did upstairs and the uncomfortable silence between you at dinner, I give it a week, maybe two before you go separate ways.” Max was miraculously calm. She stared straight ahead, picking at a stray thread on the arm of the sofa. “You’re lucky I kept up the conversation during dinner or your parents would have noticed.” Max remained silent. “I know it’s hard.” Bethany placed a hand on Max’s shoulder, who stiffened in response. “But you could hardly expect to snag the first decent guy that looked your way. I’m sure you made some mistakes along the way, but next time you’ll know better.”

I didn’t know what Bethany had against Max, but there was a cruelty in her tone that told me she was enjoying this. I couldn’t listen to it anymore. I turned to Mr. Miller and said, “Excuse me for a moment, sir.” Then I headed for the couch. I plopped down beside Max, shocking her out of the statue act she was putting on for Bethany.

I said, “Hey.” And because I wanted to shut Bethany up and had been dying to do it since I first saw her this morning, I leaned in and pressed a kiss to Max’s lips. She locked up for just a second, but then closed her eyes and kissed me back.

My body roared to life, and I resisted the urge to deepen the kiss. I pulled back and draped an arm over Max’s shoulder. I tugged her closer until she was leaning against my chest.

“Sorry, I was getting lonely.” I smiled and asked, “What are you two talking about?”

Bethany sputtered, and a slow smile spread over Max’s face. It sent warmth to every part of me.

Max said, “I was just telling Bethany how great you were.”