Everything Leads to You(77)

“I don’t know how it would be possible. All I know is that my stomach hurts for her.”

“Just relax and focus on your own job. Let Ava’s stomach hurt for itself. Or, even better, trust that she’ll do well. We have no reason to doubt her.”

And when we get there, I see that Charlotte, as usual, is right.

Ava is making the rounds with Rebecca as her guide. She is holding her hand out to shake, confident but modest, professional but warm.

The actors are gathering around the table while members of the crew find spots to sit on the periphery. Charlotte and I scavenge two chairs just as Rebecca and Ava reach us.

“No introductions necessary in your case,” she says.

Even though we were together yesterday and last night, seeing Ava in this context makes my heart race. She smiles at us and widens her eyes, almost imperceptibly, but enough to let us in on the secret that she’s a little bit nervous. I watch as they move on to meet Grant and Vicki, who apologize for the bad timing but whip out their measuring tape anyway.

“We still have all your costumes to figure out,” Grant says as Vicki measures Ava’s waist. “Nice tank, by the way,” he adds.

Her outfit is deceptively simple: tight jeans and a silk navy top that makes her shoulders look amazing. A couple of bangles hang off one wrist and delicate gold earrings appear every time she brushes her hair from her face. When she steps away I notice her signature boots and think of them kicked off on the Marmont floor, when we were sitting so close to each other.

I wonder, again, if I made a mistake.

Charlotte and I get out our scripts and pens. This is only the second time I’ve been included at a read-through, and the first time I was surprised by how much I picked up on that I hadn’t when I read it to myself, even though I had studied every scene. So I’m ready to be inspired, to be reminded, to find new opportunities to bring the sets to life.

Then, behind me, I hear Ava say, “Hi, Morgan. So nice to meet you.”

I can’t help it: I turn to see them.

Rebecca is the one talking but Morgan is looking at Ava, and I can only imagine the things she is thinking. When she told me about the vastness, I’m sure that the Avas of the world were what she was imagining: talented and gorgeous, utterly free and a little bit wild. But as Morgan looks at Ava, Ava turns to look at me, and I suspect that the Morgans of the world are not who Ava would want in return.

At least I hope they aren’t. I allow myself to believe that flirtatious and fickle isn’t what Ava wants. That, more than invitations to Hollywood parties and Silver Lake brunches, Ava wants someone who will love her back.

“All right, everyone.” Theo’s voice carries through the room, a happy, festive thunder. “Please take your seats.”

Soon, the chatter dies down; the people all settle.

“Look at you all,” Theo says.

We have filled the apartment, everyone smiling.

All the actors for all the speaking parts, from Juniper and George to the nameless customer with only one line, sit around the dining room table, Ava, Benjamin, and Lindsey next to one another at one of the heads. Those of us in the crew have taken over the adjoining living room. Charlie and his volunteer camera operators and key grip got here early enough to snag the sofa. Michael and his brother sit on the floor. They got here the latest because Kim, the USC student who is assistant directing, forgot to tell them about the meeting until a couple hours ago.

“Everyone always forgets the sound guy,” Michael grumbled as he came in, but even he looks happy now.

As the weeks have gone by, word about the project has been spreading. Instead of our bare-bones crew we now have a script supervisor and an onset photographer, who stand, holding hands, in the doorway, peering into the dining room. We have gaffers and a best boy and three grips who will set up the lights and keep track of equipment; they sit next to the buffet eating cookies and sneaking glances at Ava and Benjamin. There are others, too: a girl with pale blond hair who looks about my age, a guy with an ironic mustache. I don’t know what they’ll be doing yet but they have notebooks out and look ready to work.

“Can you feel the energy in this place?” Theo asks. “My God, it’s beautiful. Most of you are doing this for free. Those of you who are getting paid are getting nothing close to what you’re worth. I know that and I thank you. Sincerely. I thank you. I couldn’t imagine a better group of people. If I had ten million dollars to make this movie, I would still choose you. I mean that.”