Empire of Desire(Empire #1)(56)

“You look at him as if he’s your custom-made god that you can’t survive without worshipping at his altar.”

“I…I do not.”

“You kind of do,” Jane confirms.

“You guys knew this all along?” I hang my head. “I can’t believe I’m that obvious. I wonder how many others found out.”

“They’re not as attuned to you as we are, so they probably have no clue,” Chris says.

“But I think Nathaniel is getting obvious,” Jane says.

“Yeah, he keeps calling her any chance he gets.” Chris steals more of my fries and I don’t even have the will to stop him. “He has better control of himself, though. So I’d say she’s the one giving it all away.”

“And not so subtly either. She’s all depressed because he’s not around this morning.”

“Right?”

“Hey! Can you stop talking about me as if I’m not here?”

“Only if you tell us when it started.” Chris narrows his eyes. “It was before you broke up with me, wasn’t it?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” Chris asks while Jane retrieves another bottle of water and drinks from it with a straw. She can act like a real princess sometimes.

“I don’t. It just happened. I’m not sure if it was all in one go or gradually, but it just did, and I actually realized it when I was fifteen. I also realized it was impossible to fight it. I tried at first. I really, really tried. He’s Dad’s best friend and partner and the same age as him, so it should be wrong. It felt wrong, and that’s why I did my best to forget about him. But I wasn’t able to.” And it kind of hurts sometimes. Like right now, when he isn’t around and I can’t call or text, because he’s in a meeting and I’m not supposed to be disturbing him.

“How about him?” Chris asks. “Does he share your feelings?”

“He…he’s just taking care of me until I’m twenty-one.”

Chris steals more of my fries. “So it’s unrequited?”

“I guess.” The crush and the stupid feelings are, anyway. The physical isn’t, because I can tell he wants me as much as I want him.

“That’s dependency,” Jane announces out of nowhere. “You like him, but he has some sort of guardianship over you. It’s not healthy.”

“That’s not true.”

“It is, in a way,” Chris chimes in. “I mean, it would’ve also been creepy if he was banging his best friend’s daughter.”

“Why are you calling it creepy?” I nearly shout. “I thought you weren’t judgy, Chris.”

“I’m not. I’m just thinking about it from your dad’s perspective. Do you think he’d be full of smiles if he found out that his best friend took advantage of his daughter when he should’ve been taking care of her? He’s the older one. He should know better.”

“He didn’t take advantage of me. I chose this. I’m twenty and I can make my own decisions.”

“Hey, calm down.” Chris softens his voice. “I was just saying it from a different perspective. Sit down.”

It’s then I notice that I’m standing up, crushing the burger between my stiff fingers. And I hate this, I hate that I got worked up so fast and nearly lost my shit. If it was Nate, he wouldn’t have acted this way. Because he’s older and wiser, and maybe Chris is right. Maybe I just don’t know better.

I flop back on the chair, my eyes stinging and my heart sinking in my chest. If the people who are supposed to be by my side are secretly judging me, how would others feel about it? Nate was right to keep the marriage a secret.

Once again, he predicted the future while I’m always stuck in the present. He must’ve known that if news of our marriage went public, people would be judgmental and then I’d overreact and mess everything up.

“It’s different if he likes you,” Jane says softly. “That means it’s mutual and you’re not chasing after the dependency.”

He likes me.

I think he does.

Right?

I mean, why would he say all those things about my dad and bring me back from the edge if he didn’t?

Except he might simply be playing his role of guardian.

But a guardian wouldn’t touch me like that. He wouldn’t talk so dirty that I need a cold shower just thinking about it.

Though it could be just that. Sex.

“So this is where you’ve been.”

The three of us stare at the doorway, where Knox is standing, narrowing his eyes on Chris—his intern.

But he’s not the one who stiffens, nearly turning into a statue.

It’s Jane.

The straw is between her lips, but she’s not sucking. She’s staring at Knox, who’s standing there with his shoulders squared. It’s almost an aggressive stance—which is out of the ordinary for someone like him.

Chris gets up and offers his charming smile. “I was just having lunch. I’m finished.”

“Then why are you still standing there?” Knox says in his serious voice that I rarely hear from him. He’s usually outgoing around me, but he sounds like a British villain right now.