Empire of Desire(Empire #1)(55)

It’s a bit different when we’re home alone. He comes to watch me bake now and doesn’t mind the loud music, I don’t think. And I’ve been on a mission to find him a hobby, so over the last week we played card games, board games, and all the games I could think of. I lost every time, and Nate was like, “Next.” So we watched a selection of movies and did outdoorsy activities, such as picnics and camping in the garden. I don’t think he cared for any of them, but he indulged me. All while telling me to give up already.

I won’t.

It’s not okay that he enjoys nothing. So I’ll find him something as a token of my gratitude for all the happiness he’s bringing me these days.

And orgasms.

Dirty, dirty orgasms.

Now, if the feeling that something is wrong would leave, I’d be more at ease thinking about everything that’s right. But it keeps getting worse with each passing hour. Maybe it’s because I haven’t seen Nate today.

Last night I fell asleep on his lap while we were watching a horror movie. As I told Nate, I’ve never been the type to run away from what terrifies me.

I still sometimes hide in my closet with my notebook, but I haven’t done that a lot lately.

Something else I haven’t had much trouble with as of late is insomnia, because I slept like a baby after I used his thigh as a pillow.

I woke up in my bed alone, and no, I wasn’t disappointed. Okay, maybe a tiny bit.

Anyway, when I went downstairs, he was already gone. Martha said he went to work early this morning and when I found that he’d left me a Post-it Note that said “Eat your breakfast,” I hid it in my pocket as I did just that. Not that I’m collecting his notes. Fine, I totally am.

And then when I got to W&S, he wasn’t here either. Grace said he had off-site meetings today.

So maybe that’s what the bad feeling is all about. The fact that I haven’t seen him at all today. It’s crazy to think I survived with catching glimpses of him in the past, but not seeing him for a whole day is messing up my equilibrium.

“Earth to Gwen,” a male voice calls.

I snap out of my daze and focus on Chris and Jane. We’re having lunch together in the IT department because we’re the cool kids and don’t care about the crowd in the cafeteria. And because Jane doesn’t like it when there are too many people. It makes her super fidgety and awkward, so Chris and I aren’t going to leave her alone.

“Finally back to the world of the living?” he asks.

“I’ve been here all along,” I lie through my teeth.

“No, you haven’t.”

“Yeah, you haven’t been.” Jane takes a bite of her sandwich.

“Hey! Whose side are you on, Jane?”

“No one’s?”

I bump her shoulder with mine. “I found you first, you know. Chris is extracurricular.”

“Who are you calling extracurricular?” He steals my fries and throws them in his mouth before I can stop him.

“You!”

“Lies. You love me, Gwen.”

“Maybe I’d just love to hit you right now.”

“Uh…should I go?” Jane says with a straight face. “Let you guys get a room or something?”

“We’re not like that,” I say.

“Yeah, we’re not.” Chris taps his chest. “She broke my poor little heart, so I’ve been trying to fill it with stuff.”

“Stuff like clubbing?” I ask.

“You don’t have the right to judge, babe.”

“Wait, you guys were a thing?” Jane stares between us.

“A tiny little thing that Gwen murdered mercilessly. Don’t be fooled by the innocent look. She breaks hearts.” He feigns a sad expression and waggles his brows at me. The dork.

“Yeah, I realized Chris is too good for me. But hey, I can matchmake you guys.”

“What the fuck? I’m wounded, Gwen. You think I’d need your help to hit it off with Jane?

“Maybe you need encouragement or something.”

“Thanks, guys, but…my tastes are different.”

We both turn toward her at the same time and she just drinks from her water nonchalantly.

“Do you veer in the other direction?” I ask, then blurt, “Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked that. You don’t need to answer.”

“I’m not a lesbian. I just…like older men, I guess.”

“Oh,” both Chris and I exclaim at the same time.

Jane is actually my age, not mid-twenties like I thought. But she’s a genius—graduated college early and started working here not long before I came along.

But all those details fade into the background. Only one is important and sticks with me; the fact that she likes older men. I knew I found her interesting for a reason.

“I’m slightly wounded,” Chris breathes out. “Now I need to get older fast to get on your radar, ladies.”

“What do I have to do with it?” I whisper, taking a large bite of my burger.

“Come on, you have the hots for Nathaniel.”

I choke on my mouthful and Jane pushes the bottle of water into my hand. I nearly guzzle it all down, but it doesn’t remove the burn in my throat. I stare at Chris as if he’s grown two heads. “Why the hell do you think that?”