Down Too Deep (Dirty Deeds, #4)(62)

Brian sighed while Jamie mumbled something I couldn’t hear and gave fuck-all about anyway. He’d side with his best friend on this one. On anything. The two of them left the room.

“I’m sorry. I love him, but this is a total pot/kettle situation.”

I turned back to Syd after she spoke. “A what?”

“He’s pot, you’re kettle, or reverse that. Whatever.” She swiped her hand through the air. “He’s being a hypocrite. Brian wants you to take it slow and be careful, but we basically fell in love over the phone before we even met each other, and when we did meet, he bought me a house practically the next day.”

I laughed against my lips.

“I get him looking out for you, Jenna, but he needs to relax. Everyone takes a risk when they enter a relationship. Your heart is on the line. Or in your case, three hearts. What’s that saying, you gotta play to win?”

“I think that refers to the lottery though.”

“It refers to anything I want it to refer to,” she countered. “And I’m full of wisdom, unlike your brother today. Don’t listen to him.”

I shook my head. “I’m not. He’s talking like I’m already moving forward with Nathan. Did I blink and miss the rest of summer? Is it September already?”

God, I wish.

Sydney sat back in her chair. “He needs to let you do you and keep his mind on other things, like our wedding. Did you know my divorce is final in three weeks?”

I smiled. “I can’t wait until you’re a Savage.”

The grin that took up Sydney’s face…It didn’t matter how pissed off I’d been at my brother. He had to see this.

“Brian!” I hollered.

“What?”

“Come here and look at your girl!”

Brian moved back into the kitchen, his gaze sliding from me to Syd. I watched a smile light him up.

“What’s on your mind, Wild?”

Brian called Sydney Wild, giving her that nickname before they’d even met face-to-face.

“Just thinking about marrying you,” she responded with a cute little head tilt. “Wanna think about it with me?”

My brother answered by moving at Syd and wasting zero time doing it. I swore he crossed the room before she even got out her question.

Brian bent down and held Sydney’s face as he kissed her, and as I watched Syd get lifted into the air, her legs being guided around Brian’s waist and her arms sliding around his neck, both of them smiling at each other between kisses, I thought about how amazing it would be to one day have someone do the same to me at family dinner.

I wanted someone to watch me, to watch us—me and one person in particular. I wanted someone to think, “I want that too,” just like I was doing now.

*



By the time we got home that night, it was already after nine.

I got the kids put to bed after showers and a bedtime snack. When I turned off the lights and headed to my room, my phone began to ring. I stepped up to my nightstand and looked down at the device. Brian was calling me.

I wanted to ignore it. I didn’t feel like getting into another discussion, because I knew Brian wasn’t simply calling to say good night or to admit he’d overreacted. I knew the latter for certain.

My hand froze in the air an inch above the phone. Come on, Jenna. Don’t answer it.

I wanted to relax. I was tired. I had several episodes of Claws recorded, a show I always laughed at. And I needed that. I wanted to veg out and have some me time.

When was the last time I’d done that? I couldn’t remember.

The call went to voice mail when I didn’t answer. And just like that, I was immediately flooded with guilt. The weight of it covered me like a cloak. I grunted at the ceiling.

I always answered when people called me, if I had the ability to answer. Was it wrong to want to turn off my phone and keep it off for the night? Or to at least silence it? I’d never turn it off completely. What if there was an emergency? God, what if Marley got sick again…?

No, I needed to be able to receive texts for that very reason, and if I turned off my phone, I couldn’t do that.

Sometimes I missed living with my parents. I felt like I needed permission not to call Brian back and instead take some time to myself. How ridiculous was that?

I unplugged my phone from the charger and carried it into the living room.

I already had Brian’s contact information pulled up and was a second away from calling him back, but my thoughts had drifted to Marley and were staying there. I hadn’t checked on her since this morning. I wanted to make sure she was still feeling okay. And maybe get a little help from Nathan, since taking a night off seemed to be something I couldn’t do on my own.

Smiling, I collapsed onto the couch and dialed him up instead.

He answered on the second ring. “What are you doing, Shorty?” His voice was low and smooth. He was clearly smiling.

I closed my eyes and pictured it.

“Nothing,” I said, knees drawn up. “Well, I want to be doing nothing, which I’ll get to in a minute. Tell me how Marley is doing first.” I looked down at my toes, at the plum-colored polish chipping off.

Mm. Another “me” thing I could absolutely get into tonight.

“She’s good. No fever all day. I checked it every hour.”