Down Too Deep (Dirty Deeds, #4)(53)

“I’m looking at you now.”

I cocked my head. “Okay…” I raked a hand down my face. We should’ve talked. Why the hell did I fall asleep? I gripped the edge of the bed on either side of me. “I didn’t ask you to leave, did I? You don’t have to go.”

“No, but…Nathan, my kids. Waking up here, me in your bed, it would confuse them. I shouldn’t stay.” Jenna kicked her sandals in front of her and slipped them on.

Well, she wasn’t wrong there. I understood why that might be an issue.

“I’m sorry. I would’ve said goodbye before I left. I was just trying to let you sleep. You…seemed tired. You were dreaming.” She gathered her hair off her neck like before at the party, securing it into a messy knot on top of her head.

“You were doing that thing with your fingers,” I explained. “It felt too good. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

Jenna smiled, the lamp on the nightstand illuminating the side of her face. I reached out for her and caught her wrist, tugging her between my knees.

“Stay for another hour,” I pleaded. I wrapped my arms around her waist and kissed the underside of her jaw.

“I can’t. I’ll pass out if I stay.” She dropped her forehead to mine. Her fingers tickled my neck. “Thank you for inviting us to that party. Oliver and Olivia…they’ll never forget it. Neither will I, Nathan. It was amazing.”

“Yeah, I’m glad you guys got to go.” I tipped my head up and kissed her.

She moaned against my mouth, her body melting. “Okay, I really need to leave,” she said. She slid her nose along mine.

“Let me grab some shorts. I’ll walk you down.”

“No. Stay here.”

“Just give me a second.”

“Seriously, it’s okay.” Jenna pushed down on my shoulders when I tried to stand. “My kids might ask what we’ve been doing…why you’re shirtless. They’re nosy. Just stay here.”

“I can grab a shirt,” I argued.

She shook her head, smiling, and moved her fingers through my hair. “You look all sexed up and sleepy.” When I moaned at her touch, a soft little laugh escaped her. She bent to kiss my cheek. “I’ll lock up,” she whispered.

I rubbed at my face, watching her back away. “I like walking you out,” I grumbled.

“I know. And I like when you do.” She touched the knob. “No Marley tomorrow, right? You took off?”

“Yeah.” Marley. Fuck, I almost forgot. “Shit…” I scanned the room for my gym bag, then remembered Jenna carrying it inside for me. It was still by the door. “Wait a minute,” I said, digging through my nightstand. “I might need to go downstairs with you anyway. I don’t know how much I have in here.” My hands curled around wrinkled bills.

“Nathan…” Jenna’s voice was cautious.

“I can grab my wallet before you get them up. They won’t see me,” I explained, pulling out the cash and counting it. I had a little over two hundred dollars in there. “Never mind. We’re good.” I stuffed the extra cash away and then held out the rest for Jenna.

She stared at me, her eyes crinkling as she looked at the money. She began to fidget. “Yeah…I really wish you weren’t doing this right now,” she said, smoothing her hands around her neck. She huffed out a breath.

Doing this? Doing what?

I glanced at the cash. My stomach turned over. Oh shit.

“I’m sorry.” My arm fell to my thigh. “Fuck, I’m so sorry. This isn’t…I’m not paying you for what we did. You watched Marley today. That’s what this is for.” The bills crinkled in my hand.

Jesus Christ, this looked terrible.

“I know that. I know.” Jenna covered her face and shook her head. “But it still feels…God, can you just not pay me?” Her eyes were pleading when she looked at me.

“Jenna, you can’t watch Marley for free. I don’t feel right about that.” I smoothed out the bills on my thigh. Then I folded them in half, like that was actually going to help somehow. Good job. This isn’t shitty now at all. “You know what?” I tossed the cash on the nightstand. “Forget this happened. I’ll just pay you double the next time you’re here.”

Jenna looked down, remaining quiet, even though I could tell she wanted to argue this. Maybe she was thinking the same thing as me.

What if we do something the next time? Why wouldn’t we? I knew I’d want to.

“I’d rather you not pay me at all, Nathan,” she finally said.

I tried thinking about this, working it out another way in my head, even though I knew it wouldn’t change a damn thing.

In terms of Marley, Jenna did too much for me. I knew what all I was taking from her. She was always there for my daughter, and for me, no questions. Would I be using her if we took this any further? What am I giving her in return if we do this?

“I’m sorry, Jenna. I’d have to pay you,” I said.

“Yeah.” Her shoulders lifted in defeat. “I know.”

We stared at each other.

When her gaze fell away again, I pinched my eyes shut and rubbed at my face.

“There’s gotta be something,” I mumbled. This couldn’t be it. No fucking way was this over. We just got started.