Down Too Deep (Dirty Deeds, #4)(16)

“Nothing,” she answered, an obvious smile in her voice. “What is it you’d like to ask about Nathan?”

“Why are you saying his name like that?”

“Because you’re saying his name like that.” She giggled. “I’ve never heard anyone call him Nathan. I call him Nate. Syd calls him Nate. Shay—”

“Well, he introduced himself to me as Nathan, so…I don’t know, I thought that’s what he wanted me to call him.” Why was this a big deal? This wasn’t a big deal.

“Okay.” Tori was smiling so big right now, I could practically hear it. “He’s hot, isn’t he? I always thought he was hot.”

“Uh, yeah…he’s hot. Definitely.”

“What all do you think is hot about him?”

“I don’t know. Everything. His face…Have you seen his jawline? I’m pretty sure that thing could literally cut me in half.”

Tori burst out laughing.

Like a fog lifting, I became hyperaware of the strange direction this conversation had taken. What are we doing?

“Can I ask you my question now? I actually did call for a reason.”

“Yes, sorry. Go ahead.”

“Does Nathan hate his wife?” The question left my mouth so quickly, it shocked me to hear it. My heart began to race. “He doesn’t have any pictures of her anywhere in his house,” I elaborated when Tori remained silent. “None.”

Tori breathed softly in my ear. “I don’t know the answer to that question, Jenna. I don’t think he does, but I’ve never asked him about Sadie. I don’t really want to, you know? I only ever see Nate at work, and that’s not really something I’d want to bring up there.”

“Of course,” I replied, shifting on my feet. My back pressed against the edge of the marble counter. “This isn’t any of my business. I don’t know why I’m even curious.”

“You’re curious for Marley. I get that.”

I nodded as if she could see me. “I know Nathan wants to have a relationship with her, and I’m trying to help him with that. I just don’t know if he wants his wife included. I feel like I should know.”

“You should.”

“I’m not sure I can talk to him about this. I feel like maybe I’m overstepping.”

“The worst he could do is get angry at you for asking…”

I thought for a moment. “I don’t know.”

“I think you should ask.”

“You just said you wouldn’t talk to him about his wife.”

“Yeah, when I’m at work. I’m not taking care of his kid every day like you are.”

She had a point.

“Jenna, you’re asking for Marley. I think Nate will understand that. You wouldn’t be wrong for doing it.”

I bit my lip and looked out into the family room, where Oliver and Olivia sat close on the couch, quietly playing their iPads.

My thoughts drifted to Derek—their father—and I tried harder than I ever have before. I tried hating him for a solid second when he deserved to feel that for the rest of his life, and I couldn’t do it.

My decision was incredibly easy to make.

I still had reservations and God, was I nervous—I didn’t want to upset Nathan in any way—but a bigger part of me needed to know how he felt, because I didn’t think he could ever have the relationship he wanted to have with Marley if he hated his wife for what she did. I was speculating postpartum depression. I didn’t know the specifics about Sadie’s death. Maybe I was way off, but even if I was…

“Okay,” I told Tori. “I’ll ask him.”

*



I was in the kitchen wiping off the table when the front door opened.

I listened to Olivia fire a series of questions at Nathan the second he stepped inside the house, a habit she had developed.

“Do you like board games, Nate?”

“Can you build your own campfire?”

“How do you feel about s’mores?”

I wasn’t sure if he was up for answering her tonight, and I didn’t wait to find out.

After sweeping the crumbs into my hand, I lifted my head and informed her, “Olivia, if you’d like a little more iPad time, I’ll allow it right now.”

She gasped and turned on her heel, sprinting for the outlet beside the television console, where her iPad was charging. I needed her occupied for the conversation I was about to have. And now Nathan could move throughout his house without answering fifty questions.

Two birds, one stone.

Although, possibly not necessary. Because when he entered the kitchen, Nathan didn’t appear to be a bit annoyed by my daughter or even on the edge of irritation. His smile was subtle, as if he was tired, but already there when I glanced over at him after dumping the crumbs into the trash can by the fridge. I wondered if he had been wearing that smile for Olivia too.

“Hey,” he greeted me, stopping at the edge of the island. He hadn’t worn a tie today, and the top button of his shirt was already undone.

Never in my life had I focused on a man’s neck this much before. But God, I couldn’t help it. If Nathan owned any turtlenecks, they needed to be burned immediately.

“Hey,” I returned, brushing my hands off over the bin.