Death Sworn(74)

“Then why didn’t you?” Absalm asked. His voice was gentle, probing, as if he was helping her correct an error.

Ileni clenched her bloodstained fingers into fists. “Because I had the wrong idea about killing. I thought it was hard. I thought it was something you had to be trained to do.”

Absalm stroked one finger across his chin, examining her thoughtfully, and Ileni’s jaw clenched. She understood, now, why Sorin had always turned away her questions about how the assassins were persuaded to kill.

He was amused, that she thought killing another human being was such a difficult thing. As if it was he, and not she, who had been trained.

“Why?” she said. “Why did you fake your death? And why kill Cadrel? And why—”

“One question at a time.” Absalm raised a finger. “First. I faked my death because it was time for you to succeed me.”

Utter silence. She stared at him, unable to speak.

“They were supposed to send you.” He shook his head regretfully. “Not Cadrel.”

“Me? Why would you expect them to send—” Her words died as she realized the answer. “You knew what had happened to me? That I would lose my magic? How could you know?”

Absalm’s eyes were very gentle. “You don’t remember, of course, but I was the Elder who gave you your first Test.”

Ileni had a vague recollection of her first Test, but of the Elder who had tested her, all she remembered was a shimmering blue robe and a faceless adult. She looked up slowly at Absalm’s face, at his wrinkled skin and dark gray eyes.

“You were very powerful,” Absalm said. “You passed without half-trying. A child prodigy. But I could tell, even then, that your powers weren’t permanent.”

The attack Sorin had taught her did work. Ileni was across the cavern in a second, her forearm pressed against Absalm’s throat, her breath hissing between her teeth.

“You knew?” She pressed down, hard enough to hurt, not caring if she overdid it. “You let me grow up believing I was powerful, knowing that when I got old enough I would lose it all—”

A blast of wind lifted her off her feet and slammed her against the far wall. Instinctively, Ileni tried to raise a defense, but it failed completely. Tears sprang to her eyes.

“It was necessary,” Absalm said.

“Why?”

He inclined his head. “This is not the time to explain. You must gain control of yourself.”

Ileni’s anger was a burning space inside her chest, making it hard to breathe. She wanted to hit something. To smash things, break things, turn this cave into a shambles. To destroy something other people cared about and make them feel the way she did.

But she couldn’t do any of that. All she could do was clench her fists and spit out hot, futile words. “You’re lying to me! There’s no way the Elders would have gone along with—for all these years—they believed in me! They weren’t pretending.”

“No. They weren’t.” Absalm’s voice, and his face, were infuriatingly calm. “But I knew that once the truth about your powers was discovered, the Elders would jump at the opportunity to send you here. That’s why I faked my death. To give them that opportunity. I don’t know why Cadrel was sent instead.”

“He volunteered,” Ileni said numbly. “His wife died. . . .” His eyes assessed her, unblinking. “And you killed him. So they would send me next.”

“Don’t blame yourself—”

“I do not,” Ileni said, “blame myself.”

“Or me,” Absalm finished, a bit hastily. His assessment had turned wary. “I didn’t want to kill him. I thought he could fake his death, as I had, create an illusion of a corpse and remain hidden. But he was . . . he wouldn’t listen. I tried to explain.”

“Explain what?”

Absalm shook his head.

Ileni’s fingernails bit into her palm. “What use could I possibly be to you? I have no magic. I’m worthless!”

“You are far from worthless, Ileni. You have skill. More skill than anyone I’ve ever seen. And you have been trained to use it to its fullest.” He got slowly to his feet. He was wearing not an Elder’s blue robe but the nondescript gray clothes of an assassin. “That’s why this deception was necessary. So you could be trained in earnest. I truly regret the pain it caused you.”

The pain it caused you. Ileni clenched her fists.