Dating Dr. Dil (If Shakespeare was an Auntie #1)(7)

“Try to find a guy in time to get engaged and ask for my dad’s wedding gift to pay off the house?” Kareena downed the rest of her drink. “That’s the idea.” She’d been thinking about it all day. Even if she put less than 20 percent down for the mortgage, she wouldn’t be able to afford the house. It was in a prime location and way out of her price range. Getting married was the only option she had.

“I thought you wanted hearts, flowers, and romance,” Veera said. “Please tell me you’re not giving that up.”

Kareena shook her head. “I’m making one promise to myself in this whole mess. I have to fall in love with this person before I commit to marry him. I want heart eyes, and racing pulse. Romantic gestures, and conversations about forever. I want all of it. He’ll be my jeevansathi even though our falling-in-love journey will be a little shorter than expected.”

“Jeevansathi,” Veera said. Her expression became dreamy, and she clasped her hands together. “That word is so romantic isn’t it? Life partner. For someone who puts up quite a shield, it won’t be easy, Kareena.”

“Like a needle in a fucking haystack,” Bobbi added bitterly.

“Oh, I know. My dad hinted at the same thing. And there is a good chance I won’t win. But I have to try. For my mom.” And for myself, Kareena thought. The house meant so much to her, but it would be meaningless if she had an arranged marriage that was built on compromise only. She didn’t want her life partner to be practical. She wanted him to be . . . well, she had a list.

“Where are you going to find these guys?” Veera asked. She grabbed a naan and began tearing it into small pieces.

“I think online is my only choice, to be honest.”

“Online can work, but consider other dating options,” Veera said. “People treat online dating profiles like they’re shopping on Amazon Prime, and it can burn you out emotionally.”

“Did you know Indians are doing singles cruises now?” Bobbi said with a grin. “And the moms go with their kids.”

“Yeah, I’m not going to do that,” Kareena said. “I have a short list of websites, and if I can’t find someone that way, then I may try a professional matchmaker or something.”

Bobbi and Veera glanced at each other.

“What?” Kareena snapped.

“Honey,” Veera said softly. “There may be one option you haven’t thought about.”

“The devil works hard, but desi aunties work harder,” Bobbi said.

Kareena volleyed between her best friends, and she saw the truth written all over their faces. The thought was so ludicrous that she almost bolted from her chair. “Absolutely fucking not!” she burst out. “The aunties are like loose cannons. Involving them would be disastrous. Besides, I want true love, not a clinically arranged match.”

“Your aunties are fierce,” Bobbi said. “They are your mom’s best friends and if anything, they’ll be as picky as, if not worse than, you. They know that they’ll have to find someone who is your true love.”

“They bring along so much drama!” Kareena’s brain played back a kaleidoscope of memories. There was Mona Aunty, who dressed up like she was going to a movie premiere every day. She always had gold rings on her fingers and a perfect blowout. Then there was Sonali Aunty who was the most religious of the group. She often used her beliefs as an excuse to say the most ridiculous things. Falguni Aunty was constantly feeding everyone. She’d show up in kurta tops and Crocs and say that everything was going to be okay. And last there was Farah Aunty, the retired software engineer from IBM who knew a little too much about internet stalking.

Together they were dangerous. Kareena remembered the time Farah Aunty burst into her school to verbally destroy her English teacher who refused to pronounce her name correctly. And when Mona Aunty took her to get her first Brazilian and insisted on being within earshot to make sure the waxer was doing a good job. Kareena still had nightmares about Sonali Aunty’s religious studies sessions, and Falguni Aunty’s cooking classes.

“Your aunties will be able to sniff out a man with your qualifications within weeks, which gives you time to date and get to know him,” Bobbi said. “And they know how much a love marriage means to you.”

“They’re exhausting.”

“No, they’re progressive,” Veera said. “They’ll help you keep your mom’s house. They had memories with your mom, too.”

Their server arrived just in time with chai shots in authentic clay kulhars with heaping bowls of ice cream. He took away some of the empty plates and left as quickly as he came.

Kareena reached for one of the kulhars and tossed it back. She couldn’t even taste the alcohol at this point with all the nervous anxiety rushing through her bloodstream.

There was so much that could go wrong if she involved the aunties. The worst being that she disappointed them. No. That wasn’t it. The worst would be if her person rejected her.

Because then the aunties would kill that person and she’d be bailing them all out of jail.

Kareena pushed her plate out of the way and banged her forehead against the table in front of her. “I want to start slowly. I think I’ll just do the online dating first. Just for a week or two. And then, maybe, I’ll ask them for their help if that doesn’t work.”