Cruel Prince (Royal Hearts Academy, #1)(109)

“You say that like I don’t have every reason to.”

“You don’t.”

“Well, unless you performed a seance and asked him yourself, I’m not sure why you would think that.”

Cole was there that night. He knows what I did.

Liam would still be alive if I wasn’t so goddamn selfish.

He looks up at the ceiling. “I know Liam had feelings for Dylan, but it doesn’t mean you owe him the lock and key to your eternal happiness.”

“I betrayed him.”

Therefore, I deserve to suffer like he did. It’s only fair.

“No, you didn’t,” Cole argues. “You fell in love with your best friend. Last I checked, that wasn’t a crime.”

Cole doesn’t get it. Then again, his sense of loyalty has always been skewed.

“It is when she’s not mine to fall in love with. I broke the rules.”

And I’ll forever pay the price.

Muttering a curse, he stands up. “There were no rules, Jace. Dylan was never his.”

I open my mouth to argue, but it only makes him more enraged. “That girl has been looking at you like you strung up the goddamn moon since the first day you brought her home, you dumbass.” He pokes my chest with his finger. “Liam never stood a chance, because Dylan’s heart was already taken.”

“I know.”

Animosity surges in my gut. I loved her first.

Hell, I loved her before I even knew her name.

Back when she used to sit on the playground by herself with her headphones on…tuning out the world.

I wanted to join whatever world she’d built.

Then one day she walked over to me…and I got my chance.

But Liam declared she was his and it all went up in smoke.

Now he’s dead, Dylan’s heartbroken…and I’m still sitting here choking on the goddamn ashes of the mess I made.

All because I didn’t know the feeling in my chest when I saw her for the first time was love.

But Liam did…therefore he won the proverbial coin toss and got the girl.

Only he didn’t.

Shame crawls up my spine. “I can’t be with Dylan and grieve Liam at the same time.” My jaw is so tight I can barely get a word out. “I can’t truly atone for what I’ve done if—”

“Listen to me and listen to me good,” Cole grits out through clenched teeth while pointing to his face. “You are not responsible for Liam’s death.”

“If I’m not then who is?” If it wasn’t so tragic, Cole’s resolve would be laughable. “Not only did I betray him, I said some really awful shit to him that night. As his big brother and best friend, I should have been there for him…but I wasn’t. I wasn’t any of the things Liam needed me to be when it actually fucking counted.”

There’s no coming back from that.

His gaze cuts to mine. “Still wasn’t your fault.” He sits back down on the bed. “Liam, and Liam alone, chose a permanent solution to a temporary problem.”

“A problem I created for him.”

“How was loving Dylan a problem?” Oak interjects with a shrug. “I know Liam had a crush on Dylan and all but—not to be a dick— Liam and Dylan never dated. Hell, they never even came close. Given what Cole said, it seems like it was pretty obvious she was in love with you from the get-go and vice versa. Therefore, I don’t see how his death was your fault. Or anyone’s for that matter…except those assholes who teased him at school.” He looks around the room. “Or are we just going to keep ignoring that?”

“Bullying wasn’t why Liam killed himself.”

“And you know that how?” Cole bites out. “Were you with him in the closet that night?”

“Of course not, but Liam killed himself hours after we got into a fight because I betrayed him.”

“And hours after Tommy and those other dipshits made fun of him at the school dance.” He jumps to his feet. “You know he had issues, Jace. You and Dad can bury your heads in the sand all you want about that shit, but Liam was bipolar…just like Mom. The signs were all there. One second, he was happy…and two weeks later he was lying in bed the whole weekend acting like an irritable, miserable prick.”

A spike of anger runs through me. “Just because someone is bipolar doesn’t make them an asshole.”

“No, it doesn’t…but it does make them human. I know in your eyes Liam was a saint, but if he was here right now, he’d tell you he wasn’t. He’d also tell you he missed Mom, and how much it hurt him that Dad wasn’t around. And how much he hated being bullied at school and that it seriously fucked him up.” Shame etches his features. “He’d tell you what happened to him wasn’t your fault. Because you were the best brother he could have asked for. You protected him and loved him…which is a hell of a lot more than anyone can say for me.”

Shit. “Cole don’t—”

He slaps his chest. “I was his twin brother, Jace. I knew him better than anyone. Why do you think it was so goddamn easy for me to hurt him all the time? If anyone is responsible for what happened, it’s me.” He laughs, but it’s a dark, humorless sound. “Screw the kids at school, his biggest bully was right here at home.”