Connected (Connections, #1)(46)
“I’m not giving you a show, you know,” I say while slipping on a black lace camisole and pulling my gray long-sleeve Coldplay Viva la Vida concert t-shirt over my head before knotting it to the side. I quickly pull up my faded black jeans and while looking at him I start to think about the Coldplay song, Green Eyes. I think it must have been written for him with words like green eyes and the spotlight shines upon you. I can hear the song playing in my head and it reverberates through my soul.
Drawing me from my thoughts, River chuckles as he asks, “Am I making you nervous?”
Swinging my hair over my head, I bend over and brush it. “No you’re not, why would you think that?”
I throw my head back and meet his gaze as he says, “I don’t know. It just seems like it. It’s good that I don’t because I shouldn’t, you’re much too sexy not to be adored.”
Grinning hugely, he puts his arms behind his head. “I really like your shirt. Did you go to . . .?”
As he speaks, I remember my ring. Where is my ring? I start to feel dizzy as I grab my neck, running my fingers back and forth, but I know it’s not there. River sits up immediately as I frantically say, “Oh no, I have to go back to my hotel, my necklace is still in the room!” I’m trying not to panic; really I am, but my necklace, my ring from Ben, I have to have it.
River gets off the bed and heads over to me with concern etched on his face. He pulls the hair from my eyes and tucks it behind my ear before cupping my cheeks with his hands as his eyes examine mine for the depth of my worry. “Okay, we can head over there now.”
I try to calm myself, but I can’t, and tears start streaming down my face. With his thumbs, he wipes the tears away. He doesn’t ask why and he doesn’t shrug off my concern. He just kisses my forehead and leads me toward a journey that can only end with some sort of uneasiness. At the very least, a pained conversation about the man I loved with the man I . . . I don’t even dare think about the word I was going to use.
Feelings are swirling through my body like a tornado. But unlike Dorothy, when the tornado ceases and the damage is assessed, I’m not going to land in Kansas wearing ruby red slippers in a land full of happy people. No, my aftermath will include the Hard Rock Hotel where I must tell the man I’m starting a new relationship with the reason I’m in a panic. I must tell River the reason he’s taking me back to my hotel is so I can get back the most significant reminder I have left of Ben. The man I had, only recently, finally been able to mentally let go.
As we wait outside the hotel for his car, he turns to me and takes both my hands. He looks at me like he knows he can make everything better. “Baby don’t cry, I promise I’ll fix this for you. Everything will be all right,” he says, drawing an X over his heart with his right hand. Baby? Did he just call me baby?
It is in this exact moment, standing at the valet stand with rows of cars behind me waiting to be parked, that I know. I know I’m not just falling for this attractive, charming, and captivating man. I already fell.
We drive over to the hotel in silence. It really is beautiful in this sinful city, but the strip is so different during the day. It doesn’t have the allure it does at night. The lights are on, but aren’t shining brightly, not lighting the way. I hope they at least lead me back to the item I need to find.
I’m feeling a little lost sitting in River’s car going to get my engagement ring from Ben. Fidgeting in my seat, I keep grabbing for the necklace that isn’t there. He isn’t holding my hand and he hasn’t as much as glanced over at me since we got in the car. I know he must be curious as to why possibly losing a necklace would make me this emotional. I just can’t talk about it right now. I need to get the necklace back first and for the lump in my throat to go away. Only then can I allow the words to flow.
I wish it were that easy to shut my thoughts off. Did I betray Ben by taking his ring off? What kind of betrayal took place by sleeping with River? Was it even a betrayal? How long should one grieve? How long should one wait before engaging with another? Are there even any right answers to these questions?
When we finally arrive, the valet opens my door before River gets out of the car. I wait for him, and he takes my hand, leading us straight to the front desk. I know housekeeping must have already been in the room and apparently so does River since we don’t bother going up there. There is a rather long line at the front desk, but River doesn’t acknowledge it. Stepping right up to the desk, he nods his head at the gentleman who just handed room keys to a couple and waits for them to leave. Moving to where the couple was standing, he clears his throat to get the attention of the clerk who is looking down at a computer screen under the counter. I’m sure the line of people behind us is not pleased by our blatant disregard for waiting-in-line etiquette.
When the man refuses to look up, River drops my hand and leans forward, placing both elbows on the counter, his forearms down, as he clasps his hands into a V to inch a little closer. “Hey man, I have a situation that needs to be taken care of immediately, and I was hoping you could help me out,” he says in his smooth easy voice. The front desk assistant, obviously impervious to River’s charming ways, doesn’t even look up as he says, “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to wait in line like everybody else.”
River’s jaw tightens as he grips the counter closest to us, and in a flat, but stern voice he says, “I’m not sure you heard me, but we have a situation that. . .”