Come Back for Me (Arrowood Brothers #1)(90)

“Yeah.”

“Connor took me out for dinner last night, and I swear, Syd, I thought he was going to propose.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I don’t know if I’m ready, but then I wonder about what more I need to be ready.”

“Right.”

It’s been an hour of us sitting here in the farmhouse. We’re supposed to be having a girl’s lunch since Connor is at the build site and Hadley is at riding camp, but Syd is being a grump. Instead of eating, she keeps moving the food around the plate and giving one-word answers.

I pick up my napkin and toss it at her. “What is up with you?”

“I’m fine.”

I know she isn’t, and I have a feeling I know what is bothering her. “Declan comes this week.”

Sydney’s eyes light up for the first time. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You never do, but I think you should.”

I can’t imagine this is going to be easy on her, and she’s been doing her best to pretend, but time is up. Declan has cleared the next six months so he can do his time on the farm.

The brothers decided that when the conditions of the will were met, they were going to split up the land into quarters and if one wanted their portion, they could have it, but they forfeited all rights to any proceeds for the other three. When Declan, Sean, and Jacob go to sell, they’ll split it three ways since Connor is keeping his.

The section we’re building on is perfect. It’s Connor’s favorite spot and where Hadley’s ridiculous tree-mansion sits.

Still, we’re nowhere near done with building since they broke ground only a month ago. Instead of taking Declan in as a roommate, which he refused to even consider, he had a sort of tiny home built out by the barn, which is now completely finished and functional.

“I’m sorry, I have a lot on my mind.”

“Okay . . . like, Declan?”

She gives me a pointed stare, which I’m sure intimidates some people—just not me. “I need to figure some things out.”

I hate that she’s clearly upset. “Syd, you know you can tell me anything.”

She releases a deep breath and then looks away. “I made a mistake.”

“Okay . . .”

“I . . . screwed up the weekend of Hadley’s birthday.”

Oh God. I have a bad feeling about this.

“And?”

“And I was an idiot. I left the party, because I didn’t want to be anywhere around Declan. I was a mess. I kept crying because our stupid song came on the radio, and so I went out to the pond because that’s what dumb girls who are still in love with their exes do. I stood out there, thinking of him, wanting for things to be different.”

“Syd . . .”

She lifts her hand. “It gets worse. Apparently, he was feeling the same way . . . nostalgic and he came out there as well.”

My chest aches for her because I know how much she still loves him. He’s been the guy. The one who she can’t seem to get over and yet doesn’t want back in her life.

He hurt her more than she’ll ever admit.

“Please tell me you didn’t . . .”

“Okay, I won’t tell you.”

Yeah, it’s bad. “And now?”

Her eyes lift to mine and a tear falls down her cheek. “Now, I need to take a test.”

I take her hand, and decide to confess my own fear. “I do too.”

“You’re?”

“I don’t know,” I say quickly. “But I’m late, and Connor and I have been pretty . . . busy not caring.”

I had my IUD removed, and we both sort of figured if it happens, then it’s meant to be. I’ve always wanted more kids, and he’s the only man I want to have a family with.

“Do you have a test?” she asks.

I picked up one of those value packs because I’m one of those crazy people who will need at least four tests to confirm what test one says.

I nod, and we head into the bathroom. I hand her the one, letting her go first, and then, it’s my turn.

We have three minutes.

I set the timer, and we sit in the dining room.

“Not how you thought lunch would go, huh?”

I shake my head. “No, but . . . I get it.”

“What am I going to do if it’s positive?”

I remember all too well how it felt when I found out I was pregnant with Hadley. It was terrifying. I wasn’t ready to be a mother, but there I was.

“I know you’re scared, probably more so because you’re alone, but Declan is a good man. He’s not going to make you do this alone.”

“He can’t know.”

Now, it’s my turn to be taken aback. “You have to tell him.”

“When I’m ready. Not now. Promise me, Ellie. You have to promise you won’t tell him or Connor.”

“I can’t lie to Connor.”

She shakes her head and grabs my hands. “You don’t understand—”

The timer goes off and both of us freeze. “I won’t say anything unless he asks.”

Sydney releases a heavy sigh and then nods. “I guess that’s the most I can ask for. Hopefully, it’ll be negative and this will all be a bad dream.”