Come Back for Me (Arrowood Brothers #1)(18)

I hold on to the idea that he’s not smart enough to go back to before we were married.

“I don’t know, but . . . I swear to God!” Kevin steps forward, his hands squeezing my arms in the same spot the old bruises faded a few days ago. “If you even look at him again, Ellie. I won’t be able to stop myself. If you hurt me . . .”

Tears I fought back fall. Not just from the emotional pain I’ve endured but also because he’s breaking me. “You’re hurting me, Kevin. You hurt me each time you do this.”

His grip is so hard that I know I’ll bruise even worse. “You will never leave me. Do you understand? I’ll not be responsible. I’ll . . . I’ll . . .”

“You’ll what?”

His fingers tighten first and then release. “I’m trying to hold on to you!”

“By hitting me? Kicking me? Telling me I’m worthless? Threatening me?” I ask with an unamused laugh. “You think that doing this is going to make us better?”

I watch the agony flash across his face. Sometimes, my tears, pain, and guilt work. There are times when he sees the man he’s become and we go through a period of bliss. But that is always short-lived, and then the next time he’s angry, it’s almost as if I pay tenfold.

I don’t want the bliss this time.

The false life is almost worse because I know it’s going to end.

He steps forward, his eyes fill with rage and he slaps me across the face. “You think talking back to me makes it better?”

My fingers touch the spot he hit, eyes filling with tears. “Why do you do this?”

His face is close, teeth clenched. “Because you’re mine. You and Hadley are all I have, and I won’t fucking lose you.”

A tear falls down my face. “You’re killing me, Kevin. You’re killing me each time you hit me or grab me or tell me what a horrible wife I am. I’m breaking, and it’s by your hands.”

“My hands? What about your hands? You’re the one with another man.”

I can’t take this. “I’ve been with you since I was seventeen! When do you think I had time or any desire for someone else? I loved you so much! I married you, raised our daughter together, and taken hit after hit from you.”

Kevin looks as though I’ve slapped him. His eyes are filled with pain, and I take a step toward him. I don’t know why there is an urge to comfort him. Maybe it’s because I’ve trained myself to do it. Maybe it’s because, somewhere deep inside me, I love him when I know I shouldn’t.

“You make me crazy, Ellie. You have no idea how much I love you. I would do anything for you. It’s just . . . when I see you like that, I see my life without you, and I can’t do it.”

“I don’t want to be like this,” I say as the words take on double meaning.

I don’t want to fight with him any more than I want to look in the mirror and see a sad, pathetic woman who allows him to beat on her. Hadley needs me to be more.

I need a little more time, and then I will get us out of here. If I work a bit more, I’ll have enough to find a house in a small town far enough away from here that he won’t look for us. Kevin would expect me to go back to New York, which is where my parents are from. He wouldn’t look for me south or west.

If I can save enough, I’ll make it work and give Hadley the life she deserves. I wanted more time, but I don’t think I can last that long.

Kevin steps closer, and I force my feet not to move. His hands gently cup my cheeks. “I love you, Ells. I love you, and I won’t ever hurt you again. I promise.”

I close my eyes and lean in as his lips touch my forehead.

Promises break. Bruises heal. But nothing erases the scars that abuse leaves.

Then his eyes meet mine and gone is the tender man with sweet promises. “But if you try to leave, Ellie. I’ll kill you both. And I’ll kill her first and make you watch what you’ve finally forced me to do.”





Chapter Eight


Ellie





I lie here, staring at the ceiling, waiting for his breathing to even out.

“If you try to leave, Ellie. I’ll kill you both.”

In all the years, Kevin has never threatened to kill me or ever hurt Hadley.

“If you try to leave, Ellie. I’ll kill you both.”

He will kill us. I have to go now. For Hadley. For me. For any chance of a life. I can’t wait any longer.

“If you try to leave, Ellie. I’ll kill you both.”

It doesn’t matter that I don’t have enough money hidden away or a plan. I have enough to get us out of here and on a bus to somewhere else. There’s no way I am keeping my daughter here another night. He’s crazy, jealous, and if that’s the threat I got after him meeting Connor once, I can’t imagine what would happen if he found out the truth.

My body is tingling with anxiety. I feel as though my nerves are being pulled so tight they’ll snap.

Kevin is a light sleeper. If he hears the car start, he’ll wake up, and my daughter and I will be dead. I’ll have to go completely on foot.

Hadley is going to slow me down a bit, but we’ll avoid walking on any main roads.

Please, God, if you were ever listening, I need you right now.