Chilled (Bone Secrets, #2)(72)

Possessiveness landed on his back like iron weight.

“You can’t control what he does.”

“Yes, I can.”

Brynn jerked like the words had stung her. “You’d kill him.”

Alex looked at his hands; his knuckles were white as he squeezed them together. “I didn’t say that.” But he wasn’t saying he wouldn’t. He didn’t know what he was going to do. He didn’t know if they’d even cross paths. If they did, what would his gut tell him to do? He’d had satisfying dreams where he choked the life out of Besand, but a frail voice in his head told him it wouldn’t be the same in real life. Could he attack with intent to kill? On the offensive, not the defensive?

“You don’t sound like law enforcement.” There was a question in her words, and in her eyes he saw caution, a watchfulness. Like she would bolt if she didn’t care for his answer.

“I’m not.” He held her gaze. Don’t run from me.

She nodded slowly, prudence still on her face. She was reserving judgment. For now. “Jim let something slip. And Ryan got a confusing message from base camp. Collins said that you weren’t a marshal. We didn’t know what to think.” Her voice dropped into a whisper. “We didn’t want to believe it.”

She’d said “we,” but he knew she meant “I.”

“I was. I was a deputy marshal for fifteen years. I walked away from it.”

“Why?”

Meaningless words pushed at his lips, but he bit them back. She didn’t need the story softened. She deserved the truth. “I assaulted my boss about a year ago. It was more of an accident really, but I hurt him pretty bad. I’m lucky he didn’t press charges.”

Brynn blinked a few times and sat a little straighter, but she didn’t look too surprised and that disturbed him. Did he seem like someone who would hurt his boss?

“They fired me, but I’d already decided to never go back,” he clarified.

“Why did you attack your boss?” Her voice was quieter but not upset. She didn’t speak to him like he was the stinking liar he had been since meeting her. She sounded simply curious and her gaze raked his face, searching for something.

Alex tried to swallow. No more lies. Not with her. “Because he was giving Darrin Besand preferential treatment. Not handling him the way a killer should be handled. We’d moved the guy several times. Besand was facing charges in several states for his murders, and my boss would transport him like he was a ninety-eight-pound accountant with sticky fingers. Like he’d wanted the guy to be able to bust out. One time Besand attacked the marshal escorting him and he would’ve escaped if the pilot hadn’t taken him down. The pilot and plane were a private lease, like this one. We were lucky the pilot was a big physical guy with a military background.”

“Didn’t your boss believe Besand was dangerous?”

Alex paused. “That’s what I thought at first.”

“But?”

“I don’t know.” He turned in his chair to look deliberately back at Ryan again. Alex was done with the topic. He didn’t want to voice his thoughts on Besand and Paul Whittenhall. He had no proof, just hearsay. And his own gut reaction.

Brynn sat silently for a long moment, still watching him with sharp eyes. “Ryan said you guarded federal judges.”

“I did. Then I moved into prisoner transport.”

The silence stretched between them. Alex’s mind whirled as she waited for him to explain why he’d switched. This had been one of Monica’s biggest complaints. He hadn’t talked to her. He’d answer her questions, but he’d never let her know what he was feeling.

Brynn didn’t want to know how he felt, he told himself. She was simply making conversation, finding out about the person she’d been in the wilderness with for the last three days.

Why was it so hard to talk about himself?

“I did prisoner transport for three years. I’ve ridden in a lot of little planes just like this one. It’s a little more physical and more interesting than guarding the judges. I liked it better.”

“But you weren’t wild about your boss.” It was said with a touch of sarcasm and one of her lovely smiles.

He met her brown eyes and felt the room warm a degree. “He was a jerk long before I stabbed him.”

“Christ. You stabbed him? When you said you assaulted him I assumed you punched him. What did you stab him with?” Her jaw dropped, her lips opened, showing perfect white teeth as her eyes widened.

“I didn’t mean to stab him. It just happened.” Even to him the words sounded lame. “And it was with a letter opener.”

Her mouth snapped closed. She smiled and then broke into a grin, and he knew she was about to laugh. “A letter opener? Seriously? That’s like a bad movie.”

He had to smile back. “It was on his desk. I guess I picked it up while I was yelling at him. I don’t even remember doing it. Then he sort of walked into it. Well, I’d sort of swung it as he sort of walked into it.”

She laughed and the sound was like sunshine in the plane. “How’d that explanation go over with your superiors?”

He grimaced. “I don’t know. I never went to the hearing. I just quit instead.”

He’d always wondered why Whittenhall let it go. Whittenhall wasn’t the type to let someone stab him and walk away. He was more of a hunt-you-down-and-stab-you-in-the-back-for-revenge type of guy. Whittenhall’s silence was one more strike against him in Alex’s suspicion book.