Children of Virtue and Vengeance (Legacy of Orïsha #2)(90)

The look on Ro?n’s face cuts deeper than any other blade I’ve experienced. For once, I don’t see his armor. Only the boy who let me in.

“I don’t care about you.” My breath shakes with every word. “I never could. Just go.”

His face turns to stone as he walks out the door. When it closes behind him, I hug my chest, falling to the floor. I clasp a hand to my mouth, trying to stifle the sound of my sobs.

The silence around me burns more than the memory of the scars on my back.





CHAPTER SIXTY-SIX


AMARI


WARM RAYS HEAT my back, jarring me from sleep. I mumble Tzain’s name, reaching for him as I rub my eyes. My nose wrinkles when I look around, searching for the tiled walls of my elder quarters. It’s as if I’ve been stolen in the night.

All that surrounds me now are reeds.

“What in the skies…”

I run my fingers over the stalks, the feathery leaves tickling my hand. Tall daffodils sprout between the reeds, peppering the endless field with yellow.

I cannot figure out where I’ve gone. It feels far too real to be a dream. But then I sense another presence.

My heart stops when I hear his voice.

“We need to talk.”

The sight of Inan is like a fist driving through my gut. It knocks the wind from my chest as he raises his hands in surrender, brown lips turning into a frown.

“It’s Mother,” his voice shakes. “Amari, if you knew the things she’s done—”

“What about what you’ve done?” I scramble to my feet. “Do I look foolish enough to fall for your tricks again? How dare you summon me after attacking our base!”

“Look at me!” Inan storms forward. “Look into my eyes! If I had ordered that attack, why would I have gone out to meet you? Why would I waste time talking to Zélie if I knew Mother was about to turn that land into a war zone?”

I open my mouth, but his words force me to pause. He looked just as confused as I was when we first heard the sanctuary’s horns.

I thought it was all part of his act.

“I know you can’t trust me.” Inan shakes his head. “I know ‘I’m sorry’ will never be enough. But being queen means you don’t get to rule by your emotions.”

I narrow my eyes. “Why did you bring me here?”

“You win.” Inan’s hands go limp. “I concede. I can’t keep fighting knowing what I know. I don’t want any part in this war.”

What’s going on? My mouth falls open as my mind spins. I can’t believe a word he speaks, but real pain shines in his eyes.

“You’d really give up the throne?” I ask.

He winces, as if the very word is a curse. “For the good of Or?sha, I’d give up anything.”

I clench my jaw, legs shaking as I step back. I don’t know what happened, but I know he speaks the truth. Sacrificing for the good of Or?sha is all my brother knows how to do.

But when he holds out his hand, I think of Zélie’s father. Of her battered body sobbing over Mazeli’s corpse. This is how Inan gets in. How he always wins.

He’s gotten so good at lying he doesn’t even know when he’s lying to himself.

“Let me go.”

“Amari, please!” Inan chokes out the words. “Everything that’s happened … it started with Mother. But it can end with us!”

“This kingdom doesn’t stand a chance of surviving until you and Mother are gone for good.” I cross my arms. “I don’t need you to win this war.”

“Yes you do.” He brings his hands to his gut, gritting his teeth with pain. “You’ll never beat her. You can’t. For Mother, no sacrifice is too great.”

“I will win,” I growl. “And when I do, I will make up for everything our family has done wrong. I will be Or?sha’s greatest queen. I will change the entire kingdom!”

I ball my fists, chest heaving up and down. “This is the last time I’ll ask. Let me go. Now.”

Inan lowers his head and it’s like he shrinks before my eyes. The sight of him makes my throat tight. I look away before I start to cry.

“I never wanted it to be this way.”

I close my eyes as the dreamscape fades.

“Neither did I.”



* * *



WITH A GASP, I shoot up, clutching Tzain’s agbada against my bare skin. He snores by my side. I lie in my quarters again.

My heart thrashes in my chest as Inan’s words run through my mind. You’ll never beat her. For Mother, no sacrifice is too great.

“You’re wrong,” I whisper under my breath. They both are. Victory hangs just beyond my fingertips. It’s so close, I can taste it. I just have to push harder. Be bolder. Outsmart every angle.

To beat them, I have to be ruthless.

I have to be willing to fight like Mother.

I move slowly as I slip out of bed, not wanting to wake Tzain. I throw an old tunic over my head and enter the hall, my footsteps echoing in the silence as I run up the stairs.

Mother and Inan were right to use those villagers as shields. Even if word got out about their location, their presence ties our hands. But if those villagers were out of the way … if they weren’t a factor at all …