Children of Virtue and Vengeance (Legacy of Orïsha #2)(80)

“Ro?n?” I whisper.

Black waves hang from the mercenary’s head, clumping along his square jaw. He kneels on the tiled floor and places callused hands on either side of my face.

“What are you—”

“Don’t talk,” he interrupts. “Breathe.”

My eyes water as I fight to inhale. I curl forward when another spasm erupts in my chest.

“Look at me.” Ro?n brings my face to his, firm yet tender in his grip. But I don’t want to meet his eyes. I don’t want anyone to see how broken I truly am.

“Just look at me.” His voice drops to a whisper. “It’s okay.”

It feels like pushing two mountains apart with my bare hands, but staring into his eyes, I manage to open my throat. Ro?n’s touch softens as I inhale, sucking in a feeble, strangled breath.

“That’s it.” He moves his thumbs back, stroking the skin behind my ears. I stare at him, gasping until all the air in the room returns.

“What’re you doing here?” I ask. The ache in my chest magnifies as Ro?n pulls me up and sits me down on the bathtub’s edge.

“The elders summoned me. The lot of them pooled together every resource they had just to hire me to help.”

He grabs a rag and cups my cheek, gentle as he wipes away the blood and dirt coating my face. I close my eyes and lean into him, inhaling his honeyed scent.

“He’s gone.”

My lips tremble as I speak the words. It sounds so strange to say it out loud. I only met Mazeli two moons ago. I don’t know how he burrowed himself into my heart.

“I never had a Second.” Ro?n wrings out the rag. “But I had a partner. The day I lost her is still the worst I’ve ever had.”

He keeps his voice even, but his words don’t hide his scars. It’s strange to see this much of him. To peer into the heart he pretends not to have.

“How’d you meet her?”

A small smile rises to his pink lips, but it doesn’t last long. “She found me digging through trash. That girl practically dragged me out of the dirt. She’d probably still be alive if she’d just let me starve.”

New tears well in my eyes and I have to turn away. I wonder where Mazeli might be if we hadn’t met. If I’d escaped across the sea. I never wanted this war. This clan. After Baba died, I didn’t want anyone or anything.

I just wanted to be free.

“I have to get out of here.” I shake my head, pawing away my tears.

“Out of the sanctuary?”

“Out of the kingdom.”

It feels like a betrayal to utter the words, but I can’t lie to myself. I was a fool to think that freedom lay on the other side of this war. The only thing I can count on is disaster and death. It follows me everywhere I go.

Staring at the red bathwater, I know I can’t keep doing this.

“I can’t keep burying the people I love,” I whisper.

Ro?n’s hand hovers over my cheek as he digests my words. He avoids my gaze, dipping the rag into the water before moving to the blood on my hands.

“Is that really what you want?”

I nod, and Ro?n looks down at the floor.

“If you really want to go, now is your best chance.”

I tilt my head at his coded message. “How do you know that?”

“I can’t say more.”

As he brings the rag to my arm, I stop him by grabbing his hand.

“Talk,” I demand. “What do you know?”





CHAPTER FIFTY-NINE


AMARI


I HAVE TO MAKE THIS RIGHT.

My chest aches as the entire sanctuary gathers on the third mountain. Though Mazeli was the only maji killed in the attack, every space feels empty without his laugh. His death hangs like the gray clouds below.

The elders move to the center of the bloodstone. It feels like a sin to stand among them. Every day since the attack, I’ve waited for the truth to come out. For people to punish me for my mistake. But Zélie still hasn’t revealed how the monarchy discovered our base. I don’t know why she’s protecting me.

“We have to make a choice!” Nao raises her voice over the unruly crowd. “The sanctuary is exposed. It’s too dangerous to stay here.”

“Where are we supposed to go?” Na’imah asks. “No place in Or?sha is safe.”

“We don’t go anywhere,” Kenyon shouts. “We fight!”

I look up as Tzain joins the last of the maji walking across the stone bridge. When he catches my eye, he shakes his head. I worry Zélie will never leave her room again.

I have to find a way to win this war. Now more than ever. If I can’t, Mazeli will have died for nothing. There will be no point to our pain and suffering.

“This started in Lagos.” Kenyon riles up the crowd. “It ends there, too. We keep pretending we’re defenseless, but we held off the royal forces with the moonstone. We know what we have to do!”

“Zélie won’t use that power again,” I tell them. “Not after what happened to Mazeli.”

“Why does she get a choice?” Kenyon asks. “Someone drag that girl out of her room!”

Tzain’s nostrils flare as he breaks from the ring of people around the bloodstone and storms toward the center. I run to intercept his path.