Children of Virtue and Vengeance (Legacy of Orïsha #2)(78)

“I don’t … I don’t want…”

He starts to tremble and I can almost see the terror flooding in. I paw away my tears and force iron around my heart. I can’t cry when he needs me the most.

“This is just the beginning.” I stroke his head the way Mama used to when I was young. “You’ll see your mother on the other side. You and Arunima will laugh again.”

“Oya, too?” He squeezes my arm as tears spill onto his cheeks. I take his face into my hands and give him my brightest smile.

“She’ll welcome her bravest soldier home with open arms.”

He tries to nod, but his face twists with pain. He coughs up blood again.

“I’m not afraid.”

“Good.” I rest my forehead against his. “You’re a soldier of death. You have nothing to fear.”

Every word I speak is like a blade cutting me from within. It’s the arrow they shot into Baba’s chest. It’s being forced to rip out my heart and bury it all over again.

“The Reapers…” he speaks through his labored breath. “Don’t let them be sad.”

His round eyes start to lose focus despite how hard he fights to keep them open.

“Mazeli!” I squeeze his hands tighter as his grip fades away.

“Don’t…” His eyes fall closed. “Be sad.”





CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX


AMARI


MY THIGHS BURN as I race up the steps to the maji sanctuary. All around, I see what damage I’ve caused. The scars left from trusting Inan.

Though the sanctuary remains intact, injured bodies lie across the first mountain’s stone paths and flat grass. Each elder’s Second struggles to keep people from crossing the bridges as Healers tend to everyone who was injured.

“For Yem?ja’s sake!” Nao curses when a Healer pulls a thick shard of bark from her thigh. Sweat pours down her shaved head. Bloodstains coat the lagbara tattoo on her neck.

In front of her, Kenyon lies unconscious, drawing slow but shallow breaths. Blood mats his white locs to his forehead as Na’imah shouts, struggling to revive him.

“Zélie?” I scan for her through the chaos, but she’s nowhere to be found. I can’t even find Mazeli. None of her Reapers stand in the crowd.

“You.” I grab a Healer’s arm. “Have you seen Zélie?”

“They had to take her to the infirmary.…” His eyes go wide. “She and Mazeli weren’t breathing—”

I take off, sprinting to the main tower. I race past the bodies at my feet. I push through all the Healers in my way. Blood stains the stone steps of the tower, leaving a grim trail to the infirmary. I pray it isn’t hers. If she’s not alright, I’ll never forgive myself—

“No!”

The howl stops me in my tracks. It doesn’t even sound human. My skin crawls as it echoes through the hall, leaving me frozen outside the infirmary’s swinging doors.

Everything in me wants to stay out, but I force myself to walk inside the ivy-covered room.

“Zélie?” My legs go weak when I spot her frame. But then I see the source of her pain.

Skies …

My hands fly to my mouth. Zélie hunches over Mazeli’s battered body, her arms wrapped around his neck. The boy who’s usually bouncing off the walls lies completely still. Blood drips from the corners of his lips.

His gangly arms hang limp.

He’ll do the right thing when it’s easy, but when it matters most, he’ll stab you in the back. Zélie’s words echo through my head. You can’t trust him, Amari. All he leaves us with are scars.

Guilt eats me from within as I stare at a scar I know will never heal. She tried to get me to see the truth, but I chose to trust Inan.

“Zélie, you must rest.” Mama Agba approaches her, feet dragging with hesitation. Zélie’s sorrow forms a ring around her. No one else dares to get close as she howls.

Zélie doesn’t respond when Mama Agba calls her name again. But when our Seer lays a hand on Zélie’s shoulder, Zélie snaps.

“Don’t touch me!” Her shriek pierces my ears like shattered glass. She pushes Mama Agba so hard the elderly Seer stumbles into a column.

“He couldn’t be saved!” Tears well in Mama Agba’s eyes. “You would’ve died—”

“Then I die!” Zélie yells back. “I should’ve died!” Her hands fly to her chest as her face twists with pain. She digs her nails into her skin, clawing as if she could reach her own heart.

“I should’ve died.” Her voice goes quiet and she falls to her knees. “I should’ve died.”

The world feels like it’s falling out from under me. Because of me, Mazeli’s dead. Because of me, we might have lost this war.

We may have chased Inan’s armies off today, but they’ll be back with stronger forces. There’s no place for us to hide. Every advantage we had is gone.

Zélie’s sobs grow feral, forcing Khani to step in.

“Sedate her!” the Healer orders. “Her body can’t handle the strain!”

Zélie thrashes like a wild animal as the Healers close in. I have to run out of the room as their incantations ring. I can’t take the sight of what I’ve caused.