By Virtue I Fall (Sins of the Fathers #3)(42)

“I told you to stop your games.”

“I don’t play any games, Santino. You’re being pissed on principle because you don’t want to be here.”

Damn right. I took a step back from her, needing more distance between her tantalizing naked body and me.

Things were slipping out of my control. I could practically feel it. I hated that Anna had that much control over me, and I just wanted to get my control back. “Have you ever considered that I didn’t want to leave my entire life, my family and friends, behind? All for you?”





Santino looked absolutely furious. I swallowed. I hadn’t asked him, it was true. Santino being my shadow had become my reality. I could hardly remember a time when he hadn’t been my protector, and I didn’t want to imagine a time when he’d ever not be anymore.

“You are right,” I said quietly. “And if being in Paris to protect me is too much for you, then I’ll ask Dad to exchange you for another bodyguard.”

Santino made a dismissive gesture. “I’m not in the mood for that long-ass flight so soon again. Not to mention that none of the other bodyguards would be able to tolerate your moods.”

I widened my eyes. “Excusez moi, you are constantly on edge because of my supposed moods. I doubt anyone would handle them worse than you do.”

“I’m doing my job, that’s all. I’m the only person who doesn’t try to schmooze with you to get in your dad’s good graces.”

“Pity,” I muttered. He was one of the few people I wouldn’t mind being schmoozed by.

He shook his head again. “Take a shower and go to bed. And if you scream again, I won’t come running.” He turned, giving me a look at his strong back and perfectly shaped butt in the low-hanging sweatpants.

He threw the door shut with more force than necessary. With a small smile, I stepped back into the shower stall. I hadn’t lied when I’d said the water had been freezing, but now it was pleasantly warm.

I leaned back against the tiles, closing my eyes so I could replay the look of awe that had taken hold of Santino’s face when he’d seen me naked. My belly clenched thinking about how close he’d been, how good he’d smelled. And his furious expression?

I allowed my fingers to glide down between my legs and find my already needy clit. One angry look from Santino did more to me than kissing Maurice or Clifford had done. I began stroking myself, regretting that I hadn’t found time to unpack my toys yet. But even without toys, it didn’t take me long to orgasm.

But it only left me wanting more.

Santino sat on the sofa and watched BBC on the small TV when I left the bathroom a little while later. He’d put on a T-shirt. I was in my favorite ruby-colored silk chemise and matching hipsters. Santino briefly glanced my way before he returned his attention to the screen.

I walked over to him and perched on the armrest beside him.

“What do you want?”

I watched his face, the hard line of his mouth, the wary glint in his eyes. “I’d have never pegged you a coward.”

He tensed. “I’m not a coward, Cherie.”

My heart thudded hearing him call me by the French endearment. He didn’t mean it in a kind way but I loved the sound all the same. I shrugged. “You’re scared of me.”

Santino gave me a condescending smile.

“You are. You’re scared because you want me.”

“Since when are you an expert on spotting a man’s desire?”

I hated how abrasive he could be, how easily he could brush me off when I knew what I’d seen in the bathroom. “When I kissed Maurice and Clifford, I could see their desire for me. Clifford’s a good kisser, by the way.”

It wasn’t a straight-out lie. I assumed Clifford was a good kisser considering his success with the ladies. Only because I hadn’t particularly enjoyed it didn’t mean he wasn’t.

Fury gleamed in Santino’s eyes. He could say what he wanted but he hated that I’d kissed other guys.

“You don’t want to bang me, but you look pissed when I talk about kissing other men.”

“Cliffy isn’t a man, he’s a boy, and once you’ve been with a man, you’ll know the difference.”

“You’re forgetting about Maurice.”

Santino scoffed. “He isn’t a man either.”

“Who said I haven’t been with someone else than Clifford and Maurice?” I said in frustration. “You know Clifford doesn’t care about our traditions. He doesn’t expect me to wait until marriage.”

Santino’s face became pure stone. “Good for him.” Then a taunting smile pulled at his lips. “You can do whatever you want but I won’t kiss you again. I learned my lesson.”

I could have screamed in frustration. Why did he have to be so stubborn? I decided to try another, more honest approach.

“I’m dutiful like you Santino, but I want to live before I spend my life being the good politician’s wife. Clifford enjoys himself, why shouldn’t I?”

He only stared. I wished I knew what went on in his head.

“Would you rather I enjoy myself with someone else?”

“Your father asked me to protect you and that’s what I’m doing.”

I huffed. “From sex.”