Blood Bonds(The Bonds That Tie #3)(52)

“I missed you so fucking much. I used to think sleeping separately four nights out of five was bad but, fuck, Sweetness. I can’t go that long without you again.”

I nod into his chest and rub my nose against the soft fabric of his shirt. He smells clean and warm and mine, which is my favorite combination, and when he tugs us both towards the bed to sit down together, I don’t fight him.

When we finally pull away from each other, I look around the room a bit and blush, which is stupid, but the last time I saw his bed, I was in his head with him, jerking that glorious dick of his off until he came all over his fist.

“Wanna go again, little Bond?” he drawls, and I duck my head.

“Don’t tempt me. It’s been—it’s a lot. All of this. It’s a lot to process and go through. I also don’t want to get stronger still, and everything is sort of messy.”

He pulls a face, reminded of exactly what I’m here for, and I nod my head with a sigh. “I came here to hear it all. To hear from you about your family and… how you’ve decided to not be a part of the Resistance with them.”

He swallows and nods, clearing his throat nervously. “I’ve been planning how I’d do this for months and now that it’s time to do it, I feel like I’m about to fuck it up. Please just… hear me out. It’s not all wonderful and virtuous. I’m a shitty human for big chunks of it, but I came home to you. That’s what counts, right?”

I refuse to nod, mostly because I can’t agree to it until I have the details.

“I grew up in Resistance propaganda. My family is pretty high up in the ranks. My dad is even close personal friends with Silas Davies.”

I nod. “I know. I saw him when I got to the camps with Kieran.”

He grimaces and nods. “He was always leaving to check in on various different camps and going through the Gifted who had been taken. He knew they were after you for years before Silas took you. There had been rumors about your gift, but your parents moved you around a lot to keep you hidden. They were smart but outmatched by Silas’ arsenal.”

This isn’t new to me.

Silas had told me all about this, about how I’m responsible in every way that counts for my parents' deaths. About how we moved constantly because I couldn’t stop using my gift or showing off my void eyes at the worst of times. I know it, but it still hurts that he knows it too.

I swallow and nod so he’ll continue, to get this story out faster, as though he’s ripping a band-aid off of my soul.

“When we were called about my blood flagging in the same Bond Group as the Dravens, there was an entire family meeting. My dad was cagey as hell about it and Aurelia’s Bonds all had opinions to throw into the mix, but my mom just got wasted. I’ve never seen her drink like that before, but she just downed glass after glass of wine as though it were water.”

He takes another breath, shifting on the bed and scratching at the back of his neck like he’s uncomfortable before he continues, “This is the part that I’m ashamed to tell you about, and the part I didn’t tell the others, because it’s none of their business. So, I found out right after that you’d gone missing. My dad made a fuss about it, but he was actually happy that I wouldn’t be coming here and being around the Dravens. I… thought the same as the rest of the Bonds, that you didn’t want us, and I acted like a fucking idiot. I went out with my friends a lot, drinking and partying, and I… slept around a lot. I thought I was getting back at you for leaving me behind before you’d even met me. I was a stupid, selfish dickhead.”

I mean, I knew that all of my Bonds hadn’t waited for me. Even the two closest to my age had very obviously chosen to sleep around before they’d met me, but I don’t really want to hear about it, and knowing that he ramped it up in retaliation for something I’d never done… yeah, this isn’t my favorite moment for us to share.

He looks at me closely and when I don’t say anything, he continues, his voice a little stronger now that he’s gotten that part over with, “This went on for a couple of years. Right up until about six months before North and Gryphon found you while you were on the run, actually. My parents were all out of town for a Resistance function. Yeah, the Top Tier families in the Resistance throw galas and shit to raise money for the cause. It’s a whole different world on the East Coast than it is here. It’s… really different than it is here, actually. So, anyway, they were out of town and my mom changed the password to the butler’s cellar. It’s a passcode thing, and she did it so I couldn’t drink while they were gone, so I went snooping through her shit with one of my friends who knew enough about coding and hacking to be useful… On her computer, I found videos. I got my friend out before he saw anything really, but then I sat for two days while my parents were gone and watched the recordings of Silas Davies torturing you. My fourteen-year-old Bond being carved open as though you were nothing but a slab of meat to a butcher.”

My heart stutters to a stop in my chest.

I never knew there were recordings. I knew there were cameras, so of course there was a chance that there were tapes but, fuck, I hadn’t even thought it through that far.

I swallow roughly and he takes my hand, carefully so I can pull away from him if I want to. I don’t want to though. I want him to hold me because… I don’t even remember half of what was done to me thanks to my bond. To think that he’s seen it all—nope.