Blood Bonds(The Bonds That Tie #3)(47)

The guilt might eat me alive.

Because if dad were here and mom was gone, he’d be mourning her just as hard, but at least he’d take care of himself.

Sometimes I wish it was her who died.





When I get back to the Draven mansion, I head straight up to Oli’s room to find my Bond. I need to get the hell out of my own head and back to reality, where we all function and work on our shit instead of running from it in our own goddamn heads.

I take a breath before I knock on the door.

She calls out to me straight away and when I try the door handle, I find it unlocked. That’s new. That feels big too, because she’s always been extra jumpy about keeping it locked at all times. Whatever went down with North before they Bonded, it’s definitely got her trusting us all a little more.

I’m not sure we all deserve that trust.

When I step in, I find schoolwork all over her floor, and Oli’s wearing the tiniest pair of shorts I’ve ever seen as she’s sprawled out in front of it all. She’s alone, except for the two creatures, and there’s a scowl on her face that means I know exactly what she’s working on.

I don’t get why she ties herself in knots over her Gifted 101 shit when North would pass her no matter what, just for being his Bonded, and Nox will never pass her for the exact same twisted reason.

They’re both beyond fucked up over her, but I’ll take North’s brand over Nox’s any day of the week. I don’t need to know the exact reasons for it to know that whatever the hell happened in the Draven house messed with him in a very particular way.

She looks up at me with a soft smile, one that reaches her eyes, and I attempt to not trip over my own feet at the sight of it. She’s fucking gorgeous, made perfectly just for me, and the more she opens up, the more of her perfection I find.

She props her chin up on one of her hands and tilts it to one side at me as she looks me over. “How was your mom? Did you get what you needed?”

I nod and drop my own bag by the door, toeing out of my shoes and coming over to sit with her. I definitely don’t want to talk about my mom or the trip over there, so I focus on the good shit instead. Like how fucking gorgeous she looks today.

I trail a hand over the swell of her ass and she hums under her breath happily at the touch. The waiting to Bond might mess with us all, but there’s something about the anticipation that makes me enjoy the fuck out of it.

Knowing she’s just as desperate for me as I am for her is everything I ever needed.

She heaves herself off of the floor with a grumble, but when she tucks herself into my side, I sling an arm around her shoulders to pull her closer into me and she hums happily. I dig my nose into the soft, silvery locks of her hair and something eases in my chest that had wound up tight over at my parents’ place. Something that would have taken me weeks to undo myself, she does without even trying.

I love this girl already.

She mumbles quietly to me, her eyes on the shadows, “August is being pouty. I told him I’m sleeping in with Gryphon tonight, and he won’t let the creatures on the bed.”

I chuckle under my breath and lean into her. “You can always come back to my room. I might not love them like you do, but they’re always welcome.”

The grin she gives me is like looking directly into the sun, brilliant and bright, and August turns to sniff at me like he’s checking to see if I’m being honest. It’s still a little bit jarring being this close to North’s meanest and most vicious creature, but I’m adjusting well enough.

Then the grin falters a little and she sighs under her breath. “If I didn’t need a power up from him, I might’ve taken you up on that. I’m… struggling. Not having the pups makes it harder.”

I scowl and lean back into her, pressing our foreheads together how she likes. Something about our noses being pressed together makes her grin like a child, so I do it as often as I can.

“What’s wrong, Bond? What can I do?”

She sighs again and mumbles, “You all keep trying to help, but it’s… a lot has happened and I’m trying to figure it all out. How to get through this next stage without completely losing it that you’re all in danger. I got through the camps because it meant you were all safe. Now—now you’re not. And it’s hard to not feel responsible for that because if I had just stayed away—”

“No. No, this life of knowing we’re all in danger is a million times better than the life without you.”

Her lip quivers. “I feel selfish for thinking the same thing.”

I shake my head, our noses almost colliding thanks to how closely we’re pressed together, and murmur back to her, “Never. We need you as much as you need us. We all need you, Bond.”

She swallows and nods, looking demure for half a second before her sass kicks in and she rolls her eyes at me. “I’m blaming Gryphon for this. I didn’t give a shit until he started in on me with his guilt trip, and now I’m wallowing in it.”

I pull her into my chest, damn near preening when she just moves into my lap to wrap herself around me and rest her head over my heart. She’s tiny there, I can barely feel the weight of her, but when I bury my nose in her hair, I get a lungful of her scent that calms my bond inside me.

I’ll do whatever it takes to keep her right the fuck there.