Blade of Secrets (Bladesmith #1)(56)

After a pause, he says, “I’m sorry about your sister. About what happened in Thersa. If I can’t make it right, then how can I make it better?”

I turn to face him; the sun is sinking, and I can barely make out his expression through the space between us.

But it’s so sincere, so open, it nearly takes my breath away.

“Why do you care?” I ask. “You’re leaving us. We’ll never see each other again. So why does it matter?”

“If I did stay, would that make it better? Do you want me to stay?”

Why do I feel like that question is asking more than one thing?

“Would you stay if I asked?” I honestly want to know.

He’s quiet, but he meets my eyes. My every instinct is to look away, but I force myself to hold steady. Not just to prove to myself that I can do it, but because I need to convey my seriousness.

“If it were just you and just me, then yes, I would.”

“But it’s not,” I say. There’s Temra and Petrik. Why does that matter? What does he mean by that?

“But it’s not,” he repeats.

I don’t say anything, but Kellyn’s footsteps grow closer.

“You remember when I brought up my family?” he says.

I nod.

“They’re who I have to consider.”

Oh. Oh, of course. It’s just like how every decision I make has to take Temra into consideration. Because I made this sword, she is in danger from Kymora. If Kellyn were to help us, his family would be in danger if Kymora tried to use them against him.

“I understand,” I say.

Kellyn raises a hand, lets one finger drift through the hair to the side of my face, and I think I stop breathing. When his finger gets to the end of my almost-shoulder-length hair, he gives the strand a gentle tug.

“If I’m passing through Lisady’s Capital in the future, could I stop by?”

I can’t think words right now. I think that’s why I have to ask, “Why?”

“To see you,” he says simply, taking back his hand and letting it drop to his side.

“Why?” I ask again, because I really cannot think of any other words, and my skin is crawling with anxiety. I want it to go away. I want to have this conversation with Kellyn. I think.

“Because I like you, and I want to see you again.”

I laugh without humor. “You can’t like me. I can barely talk around you. I’m very awkward, and I don’t like people.”

“You talk just fine when you’re angry or when you manage to keep yourself from overthinking. You’re not awkward. Only you think you’re awkward. As for not liking people, that’s fine. I don’t really like people, either. Maybe we could not like people together.”

His words are preposterous, and I can’t agree. I want to, but it’s too terrifying. And Temra. I have to remind myself he almost cost me Temra.

Didn’t he?

Yes, he hesitated.

Is it possible that you’re overreacting? Temra’s words from before resurface. I just want to make sure you’re not looking for excuses to push him away.

How could I be overreacting? Petrik was also furious with Kellyn for hesitating!

But Petrik likes Temra, so of course he would overreact. And he’s always actively looking to point out Kellyn’s mistakes.

Maybe Kellyn only hesitated long enough to think the situation through.

“What if I wrote to you?” he asks, interrupting my thoughts. “Could we exchange letters?”

Letters? Letters aren’t scary. I get to think over everything I want to say before I write it down. Don’t have to worry about him searching my face for hidden meaning.

“All right,” I say before I can think twice about it.

“Then I’ll write to you.” He nods once, as though satisfied with the way this conversation turned out.

“And I’ll … I’ll see if I can find a way to make you that longsword. You can pick it up the next time you come through the city. Temra will get it to you.”

He looks like he’s fighting a smile. “Thank you.”



* * *



As far as capital cities go, the one in Princess Lisady’s Territory isn’t as large as I feared it would be. In fact, it doesn’t look much bigger than Lirasu. The streets aren’t packed with people like they were in Thersa. I can actually walk the road without bumping into anyone. To the south end of the city, I can see the newly erected castle, where Princess Lisady resides. It’s the largest structure in sight with pink flags at the top of the towers.

I can live here. Here is fine. I just need a place to call my own. A place to feel safe, where no one can see me. For now, a room at an inn will do.

But first, we need to sell this weapon without drawing attention to ourselves. We find the nearest pawnshop, and now the four of us huddle in the gap between the building and the chandler next door.

“It’s simple,” Temra says. “I’ll go in and sell the spear.”

“You can’t,” Petrik says before I can. “Neither you nor your sister can be seen with a magical weapon. Any of her spies will be on the lookout for women carrying Zivan blades.”

“I agree,” Kellyn says. “Kymora already knows we were headed in this direction. If your relatives didn’t tell her, then the sudden loss of her invisible soldiers would have clued her in. There could easily be people in the city looking for you.”