Blade of Secrets (Bladesmith #1)(55)

And then there are hurried steps on the forest floor. Temra and Kellyn raise their weapons once more, turning toward the threat.

Petrik is running as fast as he can, brandishing the staff in two hands. He stops once he reaches us, looks down at the bodies on the ground. “Everyone all right? What did I miss?”

Kellyn shakes his head. “Did you know about this? That the warlord is hunting them?”

“I suspected,” Petrik answers after his initial surprise. Then the ground captures his attention. The severed arm still wears a glove, so it’s invisible from just below the elbow to the tips of its fingers. Either Petrik’s totally unaffected by the gore or he’s so blinded by his fascination with magic, because he bends down, feels around the invisible arm, registers that it’s a glove, removes it, and then goes searching for the rest of the magically enhanced fabric. He gathers it all and folds the blood-soaked garments to his side.

Kellyn shakes his head at the scholar as he returns his sword once more to its scabbard. “I’m out.”

“What?” I blurt.

“I’m not about to piss off a warlord. If she knows I’m protecting you, my life is over.”

“You—you can’t abandon us!”

“You didn’t tell me what was happening. If I had known the full facts I never would have taken this job.”

I’m shaking my head, not wanting to believe what he’s saying. “You can’t be that selfish! We need you.”

“It was selfish of you not to tell me everything,” he counters. “I should have known what I was up against, what I was risking.”

“You risk your life every day being a mercenary!”

“That’s different than going against a warlord and her private army, and you know it.”

I look down at my feet, a little ashamed, but mostly angry. At Kellyn. At myself. At everything.

The silence stretches and stretches, no one moving. I’m torn between running and staying right where I am so I don’t draw attention to myself. I feel like crying for some reason.

Kellyn growls, and I look up to find him glaring at me. No one else. Me. “I will get you to the next city as I promised, but after that I’m done.”





CHAPTER

FIFTEEN



I have a restless mind, one that fixates on the things that bother me the most.

And right now that’s Kellyn.

I remember him drunk and fighting against another mercenary. I remember the way he slaughtered a pack of wolves, kicked one off me before it could go for my throat. The way he looks at me when he tries to understand what I’m thinking.

And over and over again, the way he hesitated before saving my sister.

Fighting invisible assassins.

Buying me new clothes.

Putting flowers on my pillow.

He thinks you’re a beauty.

The next night after Kymora’s assassins attacked us, Temra and Kellyn are laughing during her sparring session over something. I think they’re reliving the high of the other night’s battle.

Petrik and I scowl from the sidelines.

How can she act like nothing is the matter? Like nothing is changing? Kellyn is abandoning us.

When I manage not to think about the mercenary, I watch Petrik and Temra together.

“Let me help you with that,” she says while he cooks. She stirs the pot while Petrik adds ingredients. Their fingers brush when Temra hands the spoon over to Petrik so he can taste the food for a flavor check. She watches his lips while he swallows.

And though he keeps a carefully neutral face, there’s some extra color on his cheeks.

And I can’t help but feel like an outcast all of a sudden.

I hadn’t anticipated this happening.

Petrik has definitely become one of us. If his help in the beginning hadn’t been the deciding factor, then him saving my sister’s life by running for help solidified it.

I shouldn’t feel as though Petrik is taking my sister from me. He’s not. And yet—

I begin to feel like I don’t quite fit here anymore.

Which is probably ridiculous, but I feel it all the same.

I wander from our camp, as I so often do when my help’s not needed, but damn it all, Kellyn’s following me. I see him out of the corner of my eyes, keeping his distance yet watching over me.

“You’re hovering,” I say.

“We were recently attacked, and there’s every reason to expect more ambushes.”

Oh.

I’d honestly forgotten his whole purpose was to keep us safe. And he’s doing just that. He’s protecting me. Not trying to get me alone.

What am I supposed to do? Just pretend like he’s not there?

As if.

I want to say something. Maybe apologize for not telling him about Kymora? But I’m still angry at him, and the whole conversation would only be uncomfortable anyway.

But isn’t silence worse?

He surprises me by talking first. “I don’t want to leave things as they are now.”

“Me neither,” I answer. Then I blurt, “I’m sorry for not telling you about the warlord. You had a right to know.”

“I did.” His voice has grown incredibly soft.

“I didn’t mean to put you in danger. I was only thinking about my sister. I needed to keep her safe. I should have taken the time to think about who else I might be hurting by letting them aid us. I’m so sorry. I don’t hold your leaving us against you.”