Blackmoore(77)

I won’t, Mama! I will not become like you and watch Henry become like Papa! I can’t stand the thought.” I sobbed and then yelled, “I would rather marry that disgusting Mr. Cooper than be forced to marry Henry Delafield!”

My voice rang in the sudden silence. Maria’s eyes had gone huge. She stared at something over my shoulder. I turned my head and saw Henry standing outside the open door of my bedroom.

He held my gaze for a long moment before turning and walking away.

“Oh, dear,” Maria said. “I think he heard you.”

I sat down heavily on the bed. It was done, then. It was finally done.

We had fallen off a precipice, and there was no way to climb back up.

234



“It doesn’t matter,” Mama said, shutting the door firmly. “We will still force him to marry you.”

I shook my head. “It won’t work, Mama. He will lose Blackmoore if he marries me. Mrs. Delafield had it written in her father’s will. He will be penniless.”

She did not so much as pause at my announcement. “Nonsense. Wills can always be changed, and the grandfather is still alive. We’ll take care of everything tomorrow. You will go and speak to his grandfather and convince him to change the will.”

“No,” I whimpered, but the fight had left me when I saw the look on Henry’s face.

“Oh, I cannot wait to visit you here once you are mistress of Blackmoore! How she will hate it! To have me here, in her own childhood home, and able to do as I like. And she will not be able to do anything to stop me! Ha ha! I should like to see her try, once you are married. Will she be able to snub me then? No! No one will snub me once you are Mrs.

Henry Delafield. Ha ha! This is the ultimate victory, Kitty! I cannot be-lieve you have pulled this off!” She leaned toward me, grasped my face in her hand, and planted a kiss on my wet hair. “How I have misjudged you!”

I shook my head, over and over. “No, Mama. I will not do this. I will not.” I said it over and over until she finally stopped laughing and looked at me clearly.

She wiped her mouth on the back of her hand, as if to erase the kiss she had bestowed. “You will not?”

Maria lay back on the pillow. “Don’t be a dolt, Kitty. Of course you must see it through. You have gone too far to turn back now.”

“No.” My voice was weak. “I can undo this. I can . . .”

Mama grabbed my face again, but there was nothing gentle in her touch. She stared into my eyes, her own the color of that rusted trap I had found in the woods with the wounded rabbit caught in its teeth. “Answer me this, Kitty: did you fulfill your part of our bargain? Did you receive three proposals?”

235



J u l i a n n e D o n a l D s o n I realized that Henry had not proposed tonight. The rain had kept us from finishing our bargain. “No,” I whispered.

“Then, according to the bargain we made, you have to do whatever I want. Do you remember that, my dear?”

I fell back on the bed and covered my streaming eyes with my hands.

“I won’t. I won’t do it, Mama.”

“You made the bargain, Kitty. And now you must live with the conse-quences. Remember—remember what we agreed upon. Remember what you told me. You told me that you never changed your mind.”

I did remember saying that. I had thought it was true at the time. But now I was convinced that I had never been as wrong about anything as I had been about myself.

“You will speak to his grandfather tomorrow.” She planted her fists on her hips and glared at me. She was powerful and manipulative, and I was trapped, trapped, trapped. “What do you think of that plan, Kitty?”

“Kate,” I whispered. “My name is Kate.”

236







Chapter 34


one anD a halF years BeFore

I was sitting on the whispering bench on the south lawn. I had not gone

to the clearing, where I might easily have been found. I had not stayed in my room, with the fine splinters of wood trapped in the rug. I had stolen out of the house at dawn and stayed out here despite a little morning rain. Cora was my companion, and I listened for birds in the trees around me. The woodlark’s song played over and over—those falling, melting notes of heartache. I wanted to plug my ears and hear it no more. At the same time, I wanted to hear it endlessly. Caught in this battle between mind and heart, I did not hear the footsteps on the grass. Bending down to stroke Cora’s soft fur, I did not see Henry approach until his shadow fell over me.

“I’ve been looking for you.” The words were with spoken with softness and a hint of accusation.

My heart beat fast. Cora’s fur was warm from the sunshine. I could not

look up at him. I did not know how to act or what to say.

“Kate?”

I continued to look down. “Hm?”

Henry crouched down, bringing his face to my level, but I kept my gaze

stubbornly fixed on Cora.

237



J u l i a n n e D o n a l D s o n

“You left the ball early last night,” he said, his voice too quiet, too intimate. “I looked for you . . . I saw you leaving, and I called your name, but you didn’t turn back.”

I stood abruptly and moved away from him. “Did Sylvia come with you?”