Blackmoore(76)

I swallowed and stepped away from him, nervousness racing through me, spreading fire through my veins. We were not finished with our bargain. Henry must have had the same thought, because his mouth lifted in something halfway between a smirk and a smile and he said, “About that kiss . . .”

I stepped back until my back was against the wall next to my bedroom. “You were not serious,” I said, only half believing my words. But 231



J u l i a n n e D o n a l D s o n Henry kept coming, until he stood right in front of me. He rested his hand on the wall above my head. I licked my lips, my heart racing with nervousness. I tried to laugh, but it came out sounding low and husky and not at all the mood I intended.

I could not deny how close we stood—how the water from his hair dripped onto my cheek. But I was terrified. We had never crossed this line. And then his other hand touched my waist. It burned there, through the fabric of my gown. I pressed my palms against the wall at my back, trying to slow my breathing. It was unnaturally fast. So was my pulse.

And I worried that Henry would hear it and know that he did this to me.

I pressed my hands harder against the wall, fighting the urge to grab him.

“I was very serious,” he whispered. His hand tightened on my waist.

My hands left the wall and found the lapels of his coat. I did not mean to grab him—not like that—but my hands did not consult me. They bunched the fabric of his coat and dragged him closer. And the time for thinking was gone. We had balanced on this precipice for far too long.

And now we were going to fall. I knew it, with a breathless certainty I could not deny.

His hand slid from the wall and curved around my neck, softly, surely, as if he had imagined this a thousand times, and— A sudden light pierced the darkness of the hall. I started with surprise, and so did Henry. I pushed him away and looked toward the source of the light. Someone was carrying a candle and walking toward us from the other end of the hall. I peered harder at the figure. The flickering candle-light illuminated Maria’s face. I swore under my breath.

My position suddenly became shockingly clear to me. I was standing outside my bedchamber in the middle of the night with a man, both of us dripping wet, and I had almost just kissed him. The fact that it was Henry only made it worse. I could have been Eleanor, and this could have been Brighton all over again.

I reached for the door handle and dread fell through me. My bedroom door was wide open. “You should go,” I whispered. “Before she sees us.”

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He hesitated, but I was already hurrying inside my bedroom. I collided with something soft not two paces inside the room.

I heard a muffled oof and then I was sprawled on the floor and Mama was whispering for me to get off her. Then Maria was standing there with her candle, looking down at us.

“What is going on?” she asked. She held her candle toward us, and her eyes narrowed with suspicion. “Why are you all wet, Kitty? And why are you on top of Mama?”

I struggled to get up but my wet skirts wrapped around my legs, trip-ping me and making me fall again. Mama shoved me off her and stood, grabbing the candle from Maria’s hand. She stepped over me and lit the other candles in the room, and by the time I was on my feet, there was plenty of light by which to see the happy look of triumph on Mama’s face.

L

“He must marry you. He must!” She cackled with delight and paced in front of me where I sat in acute misery on my bed, getting everything wet but not caring.

“No, he mustn’t. Nothing happened between us. He didn’t even kiss me.”

“It hardly matters, my dear, whether your lips touched or not. I saw you two.” She laughed again. My face burned with embarrassment. “You were caught sneaking around with him, alone, at night, and you were seen in an embrace.” She laughed again and clapped her hand like a little girl. “Oh, won’t his mother throw a fit! But, Kitty, this is wonderful news!

Wonderful! Why, you will be better matched than Eleanor, and I can lord it over his mother that you will be mistress of this place.”

I groaned. “No, Mama. It will not be like that. He was just—he was just teasing me, saying that I owed him a kiss for the proposal, but nothing happened.”

She stopped pacing and looked at me sharply. “What proposal?”

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J u l i a n n e D o n a l D s o n I fell back on her bed and covered my eyes with both hands. “He is the one who proposed to me, Mama. He did it as a favor, so that I could go to India. But there was nothing inappropriate that happened between us. I swear! He was a perfect gentleman every other time.”

She narrowed her eyes at me. “You mean to tell me that you have sneaked around with him alone at night more than once since you arrived?”

I shook my head, hating myself for what I had just revealed. “Yes,” I muttered miserably.

She grinned and clapped her hands and laughed with raucous triumph. “You are more cunning than Eleanor. I declare, I never expected this from you, Kitty. He will be forced to marry you.”

I sat up, panicked, and tears poured from me. “No, Mama. That cannot happen. I cannot force Henry to marry me. I cannot do this!”

She waved away my words with a dismissive motion. “A young lady has to use every advantage at her disposal to secure a good future for herself.”

“I won’t do it!” I yelled, getting off the bed. She jumped, startled. “I won’t entrap him, I won’t have him hate me for the rest of my life, I won’t watch his respect for me die, and I won’t turn my attention to other men!