Blackmoore(49)

I was panicking with the vulnerability I felt. “Why not just do it all at once?”

“Because,” he said, his voice tinged with sadness, “I am in no hurry to throw you to the wind and watch you fly away.”

It was the sadness in his voice that took me off guard. I swallowed my surprise and then said, faintly, “Fine. I agree to your terms.”

Henry stepped close to me, reached out, and gently took one of my hands in his. My heart was pounding with nervousness, and I felt on the verge of either laughter or tears—I couldn’t tell which. I was afraid my hand was sweating. I bit my lip and shifted from one foot to another. My sweaty hand was limp in his. There was so much that was wrong about this scene.

“Katherine Worthington.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Katherine?”

“Shush. I am being formal. It’s fitting.”

He knelt on one knee before me.

“Oh, no,” I muttered. “Please don’t. Get up. Please.”

He glared at me. “No complaining allowed.” He took a breath and looked at my hand in his and said, “Katherine, you have stolen my heart.”

A strange urge to laugh took hold of me.

“I cannot bear the thought of living without you.”

My hand was so sweaty it slipped in his. Another urge to laugh bubbled up. But I should not laugh. My lips twitched; my shoulders started to shake. I clapped my free hand over my mouth to cover my smile.

“And I beg you to—”

I choked back a giggle.

145



J u l i a n n e D o n a l D s o n Henry frowned up at me. “Are you laughing?”

I shook my head, biting back another laugh.

“Yes, you are.” He stood, dropping the hand he had been holding.

“Let me see your mouth.”

Another almost-laugh burst from me. I covered my mouth with both hands, shaking my head.

“Kate,” he said in a warning voice, stepping closer. He grasped my wrists and pulled my hands away from my mouth. I bit my lip, but I could not bite back the giggle that erupted. Henry dropped my wrists with a look of disgust and backed away.

“This was a mistake. You will never grow up, will you, Kitty?”

I gasped. “Kitty? How could you?”

“You laughed at me!”

“You were acting ridiculous!”

He threw a hand out. “I was trying to be serious!”

“Well, I wish you wouldn’t.”

“And why should I not? It was my first proposal. I wanted it to be good.”

I stared at him as realization dawned on me. “Your first proposal.” I reached out and put a hand on his arm. “Oh, Henry. Are you . . . do you feel . . . compromised?”

His head jerked back, and then he laughed a short and mirthless laugh. “Yes,” he said in a sardonic voice. “I feel compromised, Kitty.” I could tell he was rolling his eyes. “No! I don’t feel compromised! What do you think of me? That I’m some sort of pansy?”

I pulled my hand off his arm. “Don’t bark at me, Henry Delafield. I was trying to be sensitive.”

“Well, don’t. It doesn’t suit you at all.”

I lifted my chin. “Then I won’t.”

“Good.”

We looked at each other for a long moment, the air charged with hurt and anger and misunderstandings. After a moment, I turned away 146



and walked back to the stone wall. I rested my folded arms on the top of the wall, my chin on top of them. “What a disaster this was,” I muttered.

“We have not fought like this in years. ”

After a long moment I felt Henry come to stand behind me. “True.

We have not.” His voice was quieter now.

“And now you are back to calling me Kitty. ” A sigh broke from me, and I felt inexpressibly forlorn and dejected and so hopeless I wanted to cry. Henry had been my last hope. Without his help, I would not realize my dream of going to India. But I would not accept help from him at the cost of our friendship. If only I had not wanted to laugh! My nose stung and I rubbed it, thinking it was only fitting that now I should cry, rather than earlier, when it might have helped my case.

Henry sighed. “Don’t go rubbing your nose. Please. I have such a weakness for that.”

“I can’t help it.” I rubbed it again, blinking back tears.

He sighed again. “I am sorry. Kate. ” Well, at least that was back to the way it should be. “I find myself very . . . out of sorts lately.”

I sniffed and blinked hard and cursed my wayward emotions. “I am sorry too. I don’t know what came over me.”

“Shall we try again?” he asked in a quiet voice.

I rubbed my nose one last time, wiped my eyes, and turned back toward him. “If it’s going to be like this, Henry, then it’s not worth it. I’ll find another way to India. I don’t want us to fight with each other.”

“Just . . . give me another chance,” he said, smiling.

I nodded.

This time he did not take my hand or kneel down or call me Katherine. He just stood in front of me and said, “Kate, you are stubborn and silly and horribly unromantic, except when you are dreaming of for-eign lands. For these and many other reasons, I would love to marry you.”