Bittersweet Memories (Off-Limits #4)(90)

“Silas, what’s wrong?”

He shakes his head. “Nothing is wrong. What do you want, Alanna?”

You. “I… um, okay, well, let’s talk about it over dinner, alright?”

Silas looks away. “I won’t be home for dinner.”

“Why?”

He sighs and stares out the window. “I’m going out for dinner.”

My heart sinks. “Who are you having dinner with?”

He looks into my eyes, and it’s almost like I can barely recognize him. “Why is it that you seem to think you have any right to question me? Who do you think you are? It seems I’ve been too kind to you, because you’ve forgotten your place.”

I take a step away, my heart twisting painfully. He’s pushing me away, and I don’t know how to hang onto him when he’s determined to let me go.

“Look me in the eye and tell me you’re going on a date with someone else, Silas.”

He smiles humorlessly. “You never did me the courtesy of telling me any of the times you went to see my brother. Why is it you expect something from me that you’ve never given me in return?”

“Who is it?” I ask, my voice breaking. “Raven?”

He looks into my eyes for a moment before nodding briefly. My heart shatters, and I take another step away as I lift my hand to my chest.

“Don’t,” I plead. “Don’t go, Silas. I know you’re mad at me, and I know that I’ve hurt you, but don’t do this. Please don’t do this.”

He runs a hand through his hair and looks away. “Get back to work, Alanna. I don’t pay you to waste working hours on personal issues.”

I swallow hard and nod. I don’t have the right to ask more of him than I already have, and if I keep pushing, he might try to get rid of me entirely. Losing this job is about more than my career prospects now. It’s also the one thing that keeps us connected, even when he wants to cut our ties.

“I’m going to cook you dinner tonight,” I murmur. “So please come home to me.”

I turn and walk away, pausing at the sound of his voice. “I won’t,” he says, his voice decisive.

I lift a trembling hand to the door handle and nod. “I’ll wait for you anyway,” I murmur before I walk away on shaking legs, my thoughts reeling as I head back to my desk.

I’m on autopilot for the rest of the day, completing one task after another just to keep my mind off Silas. Silas walks past us at six, his stride impatient, as though he can’t wait to get to his date. He doesn’t even pause to look at me, not even for a moment.

Jessica chuckles. “Looks like the boss has a date.”

“Why do you say that?” I ask, hanging onto the broken pieces of my heart as best as I can.

“The cologne,” Jessica and Josh say in unison.

I nod as I sit back in my chair. He’s really doing this. He’s going on a date with Raven less than a day after sleeping with me. She really is the one he always goes back to, after all.





Chapter Fifty-Seven





Silas



“I didn’t think I’d ever get to have dinner with you again,” Raven says as she sits down opposite me.

“What makes you say that?” I push a glass of her favorite wine toward her, and she takes it from me with a smile.

“Because you found her, didn’t you? You found your Ray. It’s that girl, isn’t it? Alanna. Your employee.”

I look down at the whiskey in front of me and nod. “How did you know?”

Raven chuckles and reaches for me, placing her hand on top of mine. “I know you only ever dated me because I resemble the woman you love. I had my suspicions from the moment I met Alanna, but when I saw the way you look at her, I knew. I’ve never seen you look at anyone that way before — certainly never me.”

I nod slowly and take a leisurely sip of my drink. Raven and I have known each other for years, and though we’ve never dated seriously, we do care about each other. It’s no wonder she knew about Alanna without me saying anything.

“So that begs the question, my dear Silas… what are you doing here tonight? I saw how you two interacted at the auction, and then again at the runway afterparty. Everything seemed to be going quite well, so why are you here with me tonight?”

I sigh and push the menu toward her. “Why are you so full of questions tonight? Can’t I just catch up with an old friend?”

She raises her brow and shakes her head. “Not when that old friend is also your ex. I remember how possessive your girl is. There’s no way she’s okay with this, and I’m not okay with you using me to hurt someone you clearly love.”

I breathe a sigh of relief when the waiter walks over, saving me from this conversation. She’s supposed to be on my side, isn’t she? Why is she defending Alanna?

“Does she know you’re with me?” Raven asks the moment the waiter walks away, and I grimace.

“Can you please drop this?”

She crosses her arms and stares me down. “I won’t. I have no doubt you’re being an ass, and I want to know why. If you’re going to use me to make her jealous, you at least owe me an explanation.”

I look her in the eye and inhale deeply. “She used to date my younger brother, and she isn’t over him. I’m done competing with carefully orchestrated memories. I’m done wondering if it’s him she sees when she looks at me. I’m just done with all of it.”