Bittersweet Memories (Off-Limits #4)(81)

My eyes fill with tears and I look away, blinking rapidly as I continue to walk to the bus stop. That time at the beach was the first time I felt a real connection like that. Until that point, I’d been living my life trying to learn about my past, and in that moment, I decided to focus on the future instead.

“We’re here.”

He nods and takes my hand, wrapping it around the umbrella’s handle, his hand on top of mine. “Take this.”

I nod, my heart aching from the wounds he reopened.

“Does it upset you to see me? Do you truly want me to stay away, Alanna? Does our past really mean nothing to you anymore?”

I glance back at him as the bus stops in front of me and I collapse the umbrella. “I don’t know, Ryan. I really don’t know.”

He nods and takes a step back. “So long as it isn’t a no, there’s hope.”

I turn away from him and step into the bus. It true that I’m not sure about my feelings, because it really is hard to walk away from what we had, but I’m not sure I should be giving him any hope at all when there’s no way we could ever get back together. Not only did I sleep with his older brother, I’m living with him too. There’s too much standing between us now, and it isn’t just his lies and deception. It’s my treacherous heart, too. When my thoughts drift, it isn’t Ryan they turn to.

I’m absentminded the entire way home and barely even notice Silas standing in the hallway. “Where did you get that umbrella?” he asks, his voice strained.

I look up in surprise and glance back at the umbrella, guilt washing over me. “I… um.”

“Ryan gave it to you?”

I nod and take a second look at the umbrella. I didn’t realize it initially, but the Sinclair crest is on the handle.

“You were just with him.”

I nod again, struggling to face Silas. “He walked me to the bus stop.”

Silas leans back against the wall, his eyes roaming over my face. He’s so close, yet he feels so far away. There’s something in his eyes that makes my heart ache. It’s a sense of loss, a hopeless desperation.

“Come with me.” He grabs my hand and walks me back to the passenger elevator in the hallway. He entwines our fingers as we go down to the car park, his grip tight.

“Where are you taking me?”

He pulls me out of the elevator and points to a row of cars. “Pick any of these cars,” he tells me. “Drive any of them. I don’t give a shit if you completely damage every single one of them, but I don’t want you taking the bus anymore.”

“Silas, I… I can’t do that. Are you crazy?”

“Yes,” he deadpans. “I am crazy, and you’re going to do as you’re told.”

He walks me to a locker on the wall and holds my finger up against it, unlocking it. “It’s got the same biometrics programmed to it as the elevator. It holds all of our car keys, so just pick one and drive it. When you’re done with it, you put it back here. From now on, I want you to drive to work, park in my designated parking area, and then use my private elevator to go straight up.”

“Is this… this isn’t about Ryan, is it?”

He nods. “Partially. For one, I don’t want you taking the bus late at night, and I don’t like the idea of you walking from the bus stop, but yeah. I’ll admit, I also want to cut off Ryan’s access to you. It’s my fault for not giving you access to my cars sooner. I’ve been so caught up in work that I forgot to ensure you knew you can use anything I own, but you can, baby. Everything that’s mine is yours.”

I stare at him, trying to figure him out. “What’s that covered car in the back?” I ask, curious. All of his cars are low sports cars, but there’s something hidden in the back that looks like a truck.

“That…” he murmurs. “It’s just an old car. Don’t worry about that one and use any of the others.”

I nod, knowing he won’t let this go until I agree. Silas Sinclair… I can’t figure him out. Is he leading me on like his brother did, or is this something else? I’m starting to want things that scare me, things I’ve never wanted with anyone else, not even Ryan. I know being with him would result in certain doom, but I don’t think I can resist much longer.





Chapter Fifty-One





Silas



My eyes roam over the carnage in the living room, sofa pillows strewn everywhere. What the fuck happened? Why the fuck is everything such a mess?

I freeze when I hear the sound of sniffling and follow it to find Alanna on her knees, rooting through what appears to be her upturned bag.

I kneel down beside her and grab her shoulders. Her eyes are red from the endless tears she’s cried, and her pain hits me straight in the chest. “What happened, my love?”

Her breathing is choppy, and she keeps choking on her sobs. “I-I… I lost it,” she cries. “I lost my… my h-handkerchief.”

The handkerchief my mother gave me? “The one with the Ψ symbol on it?”

She nods and bursts into tears all over again, loud heartbreaking sobs tearing through her throat. I pull her against me and wrap my arms around her, hugging her tightly. “Baby, it’s just a handkerchief. It isn’t worth your tears. I’ll buy you a hundred of them. I’ll get it replicated for you.”