Bittersweet Memories (Off-Limits #4)(37)
“They’re coupons?”
“That sounds so lame. These are way cooler than that.”
He chuckles and cups my cheek. “I love them. Thank you, Ray.”
I look into his eyes, my smile fading away. “I know it’s been tough, the two of us in this small room, so much of our future uncertain. You haven’t been getting very far with your job applications and I haven’t heard back about any of my scholarships. Your deal with Ricardo comes to an end once you graduate, and that will change everything for us. Right now, we don’t know where we’ll be or where we’ll live. I know you’re worried, Si. Despite that, you continue to put our happiness first. These,” I gesture around at the cranes, “are my attempt to help. When you feel like our circumstances are impacting our relationship, open one of these cranes. When I upset you, or when you’ve had a hard day, or even when we just had a silly argument because we’re both too stressed, open one up. One day, when we don’t need to worry about the cost of origami paper, I’ll make you a thousand, and I’ll make one big wish. Hopefully, I can do that before you run out of your hundred cranes.”
He buries his hands in my hair and smiles down at me. “What would your one big wish be?”
“For you to be happy,” I say without a single doubt. “Not the kind of happiness that we have now, but the kind that we dream of. Us having a home of our own and not having to check the prices of anything in the grocery store. That kind of happiness.”
Si nods, a sweet smile on his face. “We’ll get there, Alanna. You and I. We’ll have a home of our own sooner than you think. It’s only a matter of time until I find a job, and when I do, I can find us a place to live. It might just be a tiny little studio, but it’ll be ours. I’ll go to work every day, and you’ll go to college thanks to the scholarship I know you’ll receive. Step by step, we’ll build the life of our dreams, you and I. Per aspera ad astra.”
I nod, my heart filled with cautious hope. “I can’t wait,” I whisper. “I’m already so happy with you, Si. When I lost Dad and everything that came with it, I didn’t… I thought I’d never feel okay again. I was so scared to approach you, terrified I’d become just another burden to you, but instead, you’ve given me back my smile when I thought the tears would never stop falling. I don’t know how I’ll ever repay you for everything you’ve done for me.”
He leans in and presses a kiss to my forehead. “Let’s not keep score, baby. If we did, I’d come out at a loss. Before you, my life revolved around revenge and regaining everything I lost. It’s all I could think about. I was so focused on it, that I forgot to live in the present. I kept thinking to myself I’d only be happy once I regained ownership of my home and the cottage by the blossom tree. Every single night, I went to bed dreaming of owning my father’s company and leaving my stepmother penniless like she did me. It wasn’t until you walked into my life that I realized I was poisoning myself, punishing myself far more than my stepmother ever could. If not for you, I’d let years pass me by without truly living, always waiting for a moment of revenge, after which I’d no doubt be left feeling as empty as I did before you. So, Ray, you don’t owe me anything, except for this.” He holds up the unfolded crane and smirks. “You owe me a kiss.”
I smirk as I rise to my tiptoes and kiss my boyfriend with all I’ve got. Our future may be uncertain, but one thing I know for sure is that we’ll be together.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Alanna
My heart sinks as I delete yet another rejection email. There’s no way I’m going to attend Astor College, but at this rate, even community college won’t be an option. I was so certain I’d get at least a partial scholarship somehow, but so far I’ve only received rejections.
I look up when Si walks into our bedroom, and he shoots me a sympathetic look. “Another one?”
I nod and hold my arms up in a plea for a hug. Si grins at me as he walks up to the bed and sits down next to me, leaning in to hug me tightly. My lips tip up into a smile as I rest my head against his chest and listen to his heartbeat.
Silas strokes my back tenderly, his lips pressed to the top of my head. “Give it time, baby. You’ve applied to everything that was available, and you’ve done your best. I have full faith that your hard work will pay off.”
I wish I had as much faith as Silas does. With each passing day, my worries increase. Silas hasn’t been able to find a job yet, and Ricardo made it clear he won’t let us have this room once Si graduates. It’s his way of forcing us to stand on our own feet, but I’m scared. Silas firmly believes that me getting into college will set me up for a good future, but I’m more worried about our immediate future. What are we going to do? I can’t rely on Silas as much as I have been. I don’t want to put even more pressure on him, and depending on him for a place to stay isn’t right, and it isn’t fair. He’s come so far, and I’m just pulling him down with me. I know how hard he’s worked throughout the last few years, and I don’t want to shackle him.
“Hey,” he whispers. “Your phone just buzzed. I’ve got a good feeling. Open it.”
I turn in his embrace and rest my back against his chest so he can look over my shoulder as I unlock my phone. I click on the email, nerves settling in my stomach. This is one of the very last ones I’ve been waiting to hear back from.